He seems more into me!

TheFitHooker
TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
When I was in the 200's in my weight, my husband didn't really show much interest in me, He did but not like he is now. Our intimacy part of life was not often. I'm just curious if your SOS, or spouse or whatever shows more interest in you now that you've lost weight, toned up, or just gotten more healthy?

My husband went from never giving me compliments to every day saying things like "You are so beautiful" and "You look so good." things like that, he can barely keep his hands off me. Now I'm not complaining, and looking back on photo's I can't see how he was attracted to me, but I was not always a big girl, kids is what did it to me lol. He has always loved me but it's like his interest in me has really boost. It's like it was when we were dating and first got married, all over again. We'll walk through a store and he'll put his arm around me or hold my hand, when he never really done that before.

Part of me feels like he was ashamed to be seen with me before, now honestly I was ashamed to be in my skin.

Is this pretty normal?

Replies

  • Bearface115
    Bearface115 Posts: 574 Member
    yes, let the love reinvent itself! it's like your giving him a chance to fall in love with you all over again. Its not that he didnt find you attractive now, but he see's how happy you are and how great you are looking and he likey what he see! You go girl! keep up the good work! :drinker: :heart: :smooched:
  • Captain_Mal
    Captain_Mal Posts: 945 Member
    It probably is normal. My husband has always been "into" me and he's always horny. He was that way when I was thin, fat, thin-ish again, fat again. I think if you're feeling a lot better about yourself too, that might help. In any event, it's a positive thing. If I were you, I'd gladly welcome it and take advantage of it.
  • kyrstensmom
    kyrstensmom Posts: 297 Member
    I think this is normal. I was thin and fit when I got together with my husband. I already had 1 child, and that pregnancy didn't pack the pounds on (unlike #2). Our "bedroom life" has always been about the same (frequency), but recently its like a whole different ball game. He has always shown affection in public, but things have really heated up recently. I'm not sure if this is the weight loss (I don't really see the difference yet) or if its my committment to getting healthy that has turned up the heat. Whatever it is, I'll take it! Don't question it, just enjoy it and be glad that your hard work has gotten you to this place.
  • Yes!!! I can totally agree with you. Kids take a toll on our bodies and although our husbands will never say it they often miss what they fell in love with. It is our duty to make sure we dont lose ourselves in the the process as hard as it can be at times.
  • Queen_Christine
    Queen_Christine Posts: 342 Member
    OMG!
    Well, I have to preface this with he has also lots a lot of weight... 96 lbs!

    We are like newlyweds again - no, even better!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • iwantniceabs
    iwantniceabs Posts: 357 Member
    I'm not married, so I could be totally off on this, but.... couldn't some of your husbands "new" interest in you be a reaction to your own recent change in self confidence and attitude? If you are more confident in your new body, he could be enjoying the fact that you seem more happy and carefree about life and THAT could be what is attracting him to you more. It's probably not that he was ashamed of you before, but could sense your discomfort with yourself and didn't know how to respond to that (men aren't exactly naturals at comforting sometimes...) I'd say, give him the benefit of the doubt :)
  • NuttyBrewnette
    NuttyBrewnette Posts: 417 Member
    I say yeah, it's pretty normal. Don't overthink it, just enjoy it. Think of it as an NSV (non scale victory) for your hard work. :drinker:
  • when i first was with my now husband, he was sooo.. into me i was 50lbs lighter and in my teens:) well now he wants me but not as often, idk if it will change when i lose wieght and don't really care he is 320lbs, we both fell into unhealthy choices yet i still desire him , i mean alot!! and they only one making a change and its not for him, if he pays more attention to me when i lose wieght maybe i'll lose him for being a shallow judgemental *kitten*!!!:laugh:
  • babylemonade
    babylemonade Posts: 250 Member
    I don't think my boyfriend ever disliked the way I looked, but he is more into me now than he ever was, although he won't admit it.
  • dragonz11
    dragonz11 Posts: 57 Member
    Hmmmm interesting me n my partner haven't don't anything in just about 4months? Maybe we are growing apart I'm not sure,I gave up smoking and gained 12kg then found this site and lost 11kgs,I know its not my weight cos he's not that sorta guy or maybe its me?
  • I'm in the same situation and I honestly think it has alot to do with your own self-confidence and success exuding out into your relationship/home. Confidence is sexy and guys can sense it. Congrats!
  • it's normal! my hubby doesn't care so much about size but he cares a whole lot about effort!!
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    My fiance shows a lot more interest in me right after I do Zumba on PS3. I think it has something to do with shaking my butt...
  • NuttyBrewnette
    NuttyBrewnette Posts: 417 Member
    I'm not married, so I could be totally off on this, but.... couldn't some of your husbands "new" interest in you be a reaction to your own recent change in self confidence and attitude? If you are more confident in your new body, he could be enjoying the fact that you seem more happy and carefree about life and THAT could be what is attracting him to you more. It's probably not that he was ashamed of you before, but could sense your discomfort with yourself and didn't know how to respond to that (men aren't exactly naturals at comforting sometimes...) I'd say, give him the benefit of the doubt :)

    I think you are dead on. Confidence is sexy. As is happiness. And that feeling proud of yourself/your accomplishments, that is too.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Hmmmm interesting me n my partner haven't don't anything in just about 4months? Maybe we are growing apart I'm not sure,I gave up smoking and gained 12kg then found this site and lost 11kgs,I know its not my weight cos he's not that sorta guy or maybe its me?

    How often do you go out together? I know my fiance and I grew apart for a while and we cured that by going on more dates. We just had to rediscover each other. I hope it gets better for you and your partner!
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    Oh don't get me wrong, I very much love it, I can't seem to get enough of the attention, and don't get me started on the bedroom scene, it's much better and nearly every day (hope that isn't tmi) but yeah it's very much a happy thing. I honestly can see why we didn't do things like we do now back then, cus I hated myself pretty much, I hated what I seen. I still am not HAPPY with how I look but I know that it's coming off and I know that I look better then I did, so that makes me happy. My self esteem is higher, but I still have a long ways to go.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Oh don't get me wrong, I very much love it, I can't seem to get enough of the attention, and don't get me started on the bedroom scene, it's much better and nearly every day (hope that isn't tmi) but yeah it's very much a happy thing. I honestly can see why we didn't do things like we do now back then, cus I hated myself pretty much, I hated what I seen. I still am not HAPPY with how I look but I know that it's coming off and I know that I look better then I did, so that makes me happy. My self esteem is higher, but I still have a long ways to go.

    Every day? I think you should be able to log that as exercise!
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    Oh don't get me wrong, I very much love it, I can't seem to get enough of the attention, and don't get me started on the bedroom scene, it's much better and nearly every day (hope that isn't tmi) but yeah it's very much a happy thing. I honestly can see why we didn't do things like we do now back then, cus I hated myself pretty much, I hated what I seen. I still am not HAPPY with how I look but I know that it's coming off and I know that I look better then I did, so that makes me happy. My self esteem is higher, but I still have a long ways to go.

    Every day? I think you should be able to log that as exercise!

    Lol I tried and I have no idea how many calories are being burned lol
  • teasdino
    teasdino Posts: 228 Member
    Totally normal.
    You are exuding confidence. Men find that attractive. Dont feel bad. He loves you forever.
    Jac
  • dragonz11
    dragonz11 Posts: 57 Member
    Not very often ( kids) we did go on a bikeride over the weekend,like we don't fight or put each other down or anything like that just nothing sexual anymore,we have bin together just over 8yrs
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    Not very often ( kids) we did go on a bikeride over the weekend,like we don't fight or put each other down or anything like that just nothing sexual anymore,we have bin together just over 8yrs

    I'm sorry :(... Been with my husband 10 years been married 8. We have an 8yr old and a almost 11 month old.
  • KaleidoscopeEyes1056
    KaleidoscopeEyes1056 Posts: 2,996 Member
    Not very often ( kids) we did go on a bikeride over the weekend,like we don't fight or put each other down or anything like that just nothing sexual anymore,we have bin together just over 8yrs

    oh, yeah I wouldn't be able to help then, cuz I don't know what it's like to have kids in the mix. but I do wish you the best!
  • dragonz11
    dragonz11 Posts: 57 Member
    I guess it doesn't help when I go to bed early ( so god damn tired now days) and he goes to bed late,ah well will see where it goes,maybe my trip away in Feb will help,distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that lol
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    I guess it doesn't help when I go to bed early ( so god damn tired now days) and he goes to bed late,ah well will see where it goes,maybe my trip away in Feb will help,distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that lol

    On weekends I go to bed earlier then my husband but I always say something like "Wanna 'tuck' me in?" He get's the hint and most the time it works lol.
  • dragonz11
    dragonz11 Posts: 57 Member
    On weekends I go to bed earlier then my husband but I always say something like "Wanna 'tuck' me in?" He get's the hint and most the time it works lol

    Haha fare enough lol
  • Queen_Christine
    Queen_Christine Posts: 342 Member
    OMG!
    Well, I have to preface this with he has also lots a lot of weight... 96 lbs!

    We are like newlyweds again - no, even better!!!!!!!!!!!!



    Married 32 years!
  • TheFitHooker
    TheFitHooker Posts: 3,357 Member
    OMG!
    Well, I have to preface this with he has also lots a lot of weight... 96 lbs!

    We are like newlyweds again - no, even better!!!!!!!!!!!!



    Married 32 years!

    Oh wow that is great :)
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    On weekends I go to bed earlier then my husband but I always say something like "Wanna 'tuck' me in?" He get's the hint and most the time it works lol

    Haha fare enough lol

    I ask if he wants to cuddle for a while, usually it turns into more. Most likely he wants to, but doesnt know how to approach the subject. Especially if it's been so long. He might think he's doing you a favor by keeping his distance. I say wear something you know he likes, kiss him like you mean it when he gets home from work and tell him you are reserving his time and attention after the kids go to bed. A simple "I miss you" could open up a great conversation, too.

    Also, you could say "I'm going to BED now, but I won't be going to SLEEP for another hour. Care to join me?"
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