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Help me write a message to my crush!

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  • Posts: 2,092 Member
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    I will presume you are saying this in some sort of sarcastic sense. It seems like a lot of your messages are about juggling Asian men and liking all of them.

    That said, you don't need to say anything is over because it sounds like it didn't begin. If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have gotten so emotionally invested in something that wasn't there, but if I did I would move on with no regrets either.

    The good news is that there is no big picture. No "if it's meant to happen it will happen." There is only "if it happens, it happens." So move on and go get emotionally invested in someone who will return your affections.
    -wtk

    Postscript: That said, I haven't seen a well-developed limerick in years. So that was my favorite advice.

    I guess I meant, I don't usually feel like I did about this guy ^^

    Thank you! You are right that I need to see it from the perspective you mentioned.

    I also very much liked the limerick >.<
  • Posts: 13,247 Member
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    exactly. You owe him no explanation. Hes not into you... carry on.

    Both of these. I'm happy you let him know you were interested, but just because you hit the ball into his court doesn't mean he was obligated to return it. You're also not obligated to help him.

    My advice doesn't have much to do with this particular guy, just guys in general. I used to be someone who developed huge crushes, and they never went anywhere. Relationships only developed when we were both equally interested in each other from the get-go. (And sometimes it's a knock-your-socks-off immediate attraction, sometimes a smaller attraction that grows, but always an equal interest.) Never, ever think you need to bend over backwards to convince someone to like you. You don't need to win anyone over. The right guy will respect, admire and desire you just for being you.
  • Posts: 75 Member
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    How about a short poem...

    When you fail your TOEFL,
    I'm going to be ROFL.

    Or a limerick?

    There was an exchange student from China
    Who I thought could never be fine-a
    He kept blowing me off
    So I'm saying "enough!
    'Cuz you have just crossed a big line-a!"

    Please, please, write a limerick like this ^ We should all be so lucky to be blown off in rhyme.
  • Posts: 2,092 Member
    show previous quotes

    Both of these. I'm happy you let him know you were interested, but just because you hit the ball into his court doesn't mean he was obligated to return it. You're also not obligated to help him.

    My advice doesn't have much to do with this particular guy, just guys in general. I used to be someone who developed huge crushes, and they never went anywhere. Relationships only developed when we were both equally interested in each other from the get-go. (And sometimes it's a knock-your-socks-off immediate attraction, sometimes a smaller attraction that grows, but always an equal interest.) Never, ever think you need to bend over backwards to convince someone to like you. You don't need to win anyone over. The right guy will respect, admire and desire you just for being you.

    Thank you! This was a really beautiful and honest piece of advice. I will pray to meet the right guy without having to change myself..^^
  • Posts: 341 Member
    to me it sounds that he has a priority right now.. and it is for him to pass his test. That is the reason he saying to wait for after.. IT does sound like he is interested. Good luck! but if you really like him a lot you will wait for him!! sometimes is just a matter of time.
  • Posts: 620 Member
    No note needed IMO. Just stop the advances. Thats enough of a signal without needing a verbal explanation.
  • Posts: 2,092 Member
    to me it sounds that he has a priority right now.. and it is for him to pass his test. That is the reason he saying to wait for after.. IT does sound like he is interested. Good luck! but if you really like him a lot you will wait for him!! sometimes is just a matter of time.

    This is what I was hoping for, but I feel it is just me being optimistic. I already sent the message, so I am not sure what will happen. :/

    I think I am just being hopeful though, as I am almost certain he knows I get asked out a lot. If he was interested, he would be worried I would date someone else...

    I will wait until after his test anyways since I cannot forget my feelings so easily...and it is true that I really like him :/

    I just cannot stand this feeling of doubt anymore, and do not want to waste my time playing a fool. :(
  • Posts: 2,092 Member
    No note needed IMO. Just stop the advances. Thats enough of a signal without needing a verbal explanation.

    I already sent the note, if you read the previous posts. Thanks anyway
  • Posts: 309 Member
    Maybe you should charge for tutoring. Better than attaching strings to it.
  • Posts: 2,092 Member
    Maybe you should charge for tutoring. Better than attaching strings to it.

    Honestly, I was kind of hoping to get sex out of it. :/ I agree though, I will begin tutoring OTHER people (for cash).
  • Posts: 75 Member
    Thank you guys. I just feel like he pretended to be into me is all. He would get touchy and then told me multiple times, "We should hang out!" Last time he fed me with his chopsticks, and spent the entire day with me...he would text and call me a lot, so of course I feel played :(

    Oh man.. have I ever been this girl. Had a crush on a guy during a play, broke it off with my long-term (7 years) boyfriend, (not just because of this guy, but it was the catalyst, i think), watched him perform his music, listened when he opened up, believed him when he said he wanted to introduce me to all his friends.. and convinced myself I only wanted to be his "friend". Sigh. Yeah, okay.

    He'd ask me to help with his lines for a show in a flirty way, and then later on to rehearse for an audition theeennn... I realized he was just using my mad skillz , much like yourself.

    It's one of those crap lessons that I probably needed to learn and tears and wringing of hands aside, I really do feel, in retrospect, that it was important that it happened this way.

    If it helps at all, years later I'm very much over him, (in that "what did I *see* in him??" kind of way) in a relationship with a good guy and I left with (most of) my dignity intact. The second last time I saw him, he was going off to Portugal to "find" himself and when he gave me a hug and said "I love you" i said "oh honey, no you don't" and left. It felt really good.

    Oh, and the last time I saw him? I was with my new guy and lookin' good. My advice: Learn what you can from this, hold your head high and know you're in very good company. Dude's not worth it.
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