Advice PLEASE

JudyP0389

Ok, I need some advice. I live in upstate New York, and am a single mom of 3 boys and 1 girl who is not my daughter by birth but is by love and who lives in my home. I work part-time and though I have a good job, I am NOT making it on my income. I am always actively looking for a supplemental job. I would really love to move back to Texas and get a fresh start but my ex will not allow me to move with the boys even though he and his girlfriend would like to move to Texas too, but another part. He will allow me to move if he can have custody of the boys which I will not do. However, I really feel I need to do something to change my life right now. I hate worrying about my finances all the time. I really feel my stress level would go way down if I could make a change for the better. Any suggestions?

Ephena

Take your ex to court. My ex threatened me with the same thing and then he moved out of state. So I did some digging, you can usually get decent assistance from the court system itself as far as filling out paper work and how to best state your case. What you want to do is convince the judge that you need to move away to be able to safely and reasonably provide for your children. Offer up visitation and custody arrangements so that you appear to be reasonable and cooperative. The let your ex argue his side, if he's anything like my ex his temper will get the better of him and it really works in your favor.

Good luck!

rharris86dc

If he wants to move to Texas, as well, I don't really see a problem. It would be way harder to share custody between NY and TX.... I know Texas is a big state, but still not as big as the distance between the two.
If you have to, go through the court to make the move happen, if it's what you need to do to be more financially stable.

Another great thing for stress reduction is exercise! So get a move on for a bit every day! And maybe use that time to also clear you mind and come up with some options for your situation.

Good luck!

yesthistime

First go to court. Then go to Texas. You only live once.

Cathleenr

Ok, I need some advice. I live in upstate New York, and am a single mom of 3 boys and 1 girl who is not my daughter by birth but is by love and who lives in my home. I work part-time and though I have a good job, I am NOT making it on my income. I am always actively looking for a supplemental job. I would really love to move back to Texas and get a fresh start but my ex will not allow me to move with the boys even though he and his girlfriend would like to move to Texas too, but another part. He will allow me to move if he can have custody of the boys which I will not do. However, I really feel I need to do something to change my life right now. I hate worrying about my finances all the time. I really feel my stress level would go way down if I could make a change for the better. Any suggestions?

can you increase the job to full time status? or is it a field where you could use your expertise to consult? courts and moving cost $$$ and if you dont have the bucks now, moving to a whole new place and starting over is very expensive up front.
but that doesnt mean you cant sit down and get some dreams on paper, then put some timelines on them and get a plan going. for example, if you know its going to cost $6000 to move from new york to texas, get set up and have about 3 months of living expenses to fall back on, you can start a fund for that. even if for a while its just on paper, you can see how having x amount of more income now will get you to where you want to be....and then taking on some extra jobs here and there wont seem like you are going nowhere. and i am a fan of communications, even if at first its one sided. write your ex a letter, outlining the benefits of both of you being in the same state, how custody (shared!) would work out and what you need from him. he may reject it the first 20 times, but the 21st.... . and dont underestimate the girlfriend's wishes if she wants to move too....if she buys into your vision, the battle is almost won!
good luck.