crazy coworkers and the stuff they do..

mrmarius

so we had a thread about liars and i mentioned my coworker, well iv'fe got more stories about him and others so heres the time to entertain each other with true stories about crazy coworkers

so theres the liar, who tells all these crazy stories, but the thing is you can picture him trying to do this stuff... well anyhow he was in the office blasting some ac/dc when the boss walks in and yells " turn that down" a few times, once he turns it down the boss says I should change your off days to tues/wed. to which my coworker looks him in the eye and says "you know i can give a man cancer" ( he thinks he's a doctor) boss is now freaked out locks his office and dude shows him that he can break into the office lol


same guy calls in to work because he had a grenade blow too close to his hand.

same guy remember he really thinks he's a doctor... he was told he had to bring in a doctors excuse, so he wrote himself one, signed with his own name ,

same guy tells supervisor "you know i'm injecting myself with poison" supervisor asks why and he says "i'm building my immunity up incase someone tries to poison me"


another coworker gets caught sleeping by on of the bosses. the boss being lenient sends another coworker to wake him up so he can pretend he never saw it and not have to disclipline him.. sleepy's response? "well if he doesnt want me sleeping HE should have me something to do"


last one one guy who finally got fired ( its an accomplishment to get fired from the railroad... really its almost impossible) loved to rock climb and jump off anything, decides to hang upside down on the shower rod in locker room... rod breaks and he lands squarely on his head lmbo

DannyMussels

Those are some amazing coworkers.

You guys need to get together and either:

a) write, direct and star in a movie

or

b) rob a bank

purrsnicketyh

he kinda sounds like dwight from "the office..." diagnosing himself and others is classic!

Goal_Seeker_1988

sounds like you have a very interesting job! wish i could have fun like that!

mfpslash1313

That is some funny stuff. I work at home, so I can't complain too much about my family... :-)

happy_travels

The "I can give a man cancer" line had me rolling! That was not at all what I expected when I opened this up.

I can't even leave a crazy co-worker comment because nothing is going to compare to what you said.

santini1975

LOL! Don't get me started!
My weekday job is at a Mental Health Center and on the weekends I work at a homeless shelter.

A little 6 year old boy told me "You look like a damn goat and I hate you!"
A female in her 30s claims to have fought in Laos, Cambodia, and Vietnam as an infantryman.
A guy was very distraught over a big conflict between a raisin and a banana.
I had to search incoming bags and found a crack pipe, but the owner tried to convince me it was a whistle.
And that's just in one week!

SunshineKisses_2012

I have a coworker who purposefully sneezes and squeeks as loud as possible to get attention. I have gotten used to it. The person in the office directly next to her gets annoyed. And they all wonder why I play my music loud with my door closed..... :laugh:

AZKristi

Wow, your coworker sounds insane. When the boss finally grows a pair and fires this person, I highly suggesting taking a month off.

SunshineKisses_2012

Wow, your coworker sounds insane. When the boss finally grows a pair and fires this person, I highly suggesting taking a month off.

Right??? Or carry a gun and brush up on your sharp shooting skills.

mrmarius

Wow, your coworker sounds insane. When the boss finally grows a pair and fires this person, I highly suggesting taking a month off.

everyone hates the boss so that makes it even funnnier... dude has even driven by the bosses house on his motorcycle and rev's the engine

quichebradford

Ok, I have one for you. There is a lady at my job who sells Mary Kay. She got mad at the cleaning lady at my job, who sells Avon. So as not to be outsold, she decided to take revenge on the cleaning lady by doing things in the ladies room....knowing that the cleaning lady would have to take care of it. Those things include, but are not limited to.....stuffing toilet seat covers into the toilets to stop them up, and smearing her own waste on the walls and floor in the stalls.

Yep, that's exactly what I said. She was taking her own poop and wiping it on the walls.

krissagirl0709

I have some coworkers who are both in their 40's and I think it is just ridiculous that they cant get along with each other at all..they have each put me in the middle to rant on the other..and it needs to STOP! lol

krissagirl0709

Ok, I have one for you. There is a lady at my job who sells Mary Kay. She got mad at the cleaning lady at my job, who sells Avon. So as not to be outsold, she decided to take revenge on the cleaning lady by doing things in the ladies room....knowing that the cleaning lady would have to take care of it. Those things include, but are not limited to.....stuffing toilet seat covers into the toilets to stop them up, and smearing her own waste on the walls and floor in the stalls.

Yep, that's exactly what I said. She was taking her own poop and wiping it on the walls.

yuck yuck yuck!!!!

mrmarius

Ok, I have one for you. There is a lady at my job who sells Mary Kay. She got mad at the cleaning lady at my job, who sells Avon. So as not to be outsold, she decided to take revenge on the cleaning lady by doing things in the ladies room....knowing that the cleaning lady would have to take care of it. Those things include, but are not limited to.....stuffing toilet seat covers into the toilets to stop them up, and smearing her own waste on the walls and floor in the stalls.

Yep, that's exactly what I said. She was taking her own poop and wiping it on the walls.

wow... she should apply for the railroad lol

macpatti

Ok, I have one for you. There is a lady at my job who sells Mary Kay. She got mad at the cleaning lady at my job, who sells Avon. So as not to be outsold, she decided to take revenge on the cleaning lady by doing things in the ladies room....knowing that the cleaning lady would have to take care of it. Those things include, but are not limited to.....stuffing toilet seat covers into the toilets to stop them up, and smearing her own waste on the walls and floor in the stalls.

Yep, that's exactly what I said. She was taking her own poop and wiping it on the walls.

Are you frigin' kidding me? Are you talking about Martha the cleaning lady? Was the other lady fired for that *kitten*?

MFPAddict

We have a germaphobe at my office. Sprays her desk down every morning. Has a air purifier on top of her cabinet. Uses a paper towel to open the door to our work area. Constantly talks about her need to keep her immune system strong. I am sure some of these things don't sound extreme at all. In fact, I do witness others doing some similar things. However, it is how she carries herself that makes her come off as a freak.

But here is the best part. This germ freak will take her coffee mug or her corning bowl into the ladies room with her, then go to the break area and fill them up with whatever she is having. :sick:

elsham

same guy remember he really thinks he's a doctor... he was told he had to bring in a doctors excuse, so he wrote himself one, signed with his own name ,

Just HAHAHHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHHA.

elsham

I have some coworkers who are both in their 40's and I think it is just ridiculous that they cant get along with each other at all..they have each put me in the middle to rant on the other..and it needs to STOP! lol

You'll find this anywhere. I work at a public school and there are teachers who will argue like crazy. It's even more fun to watch when they talk behind each others backs about each others teaching methods and lack of ability to control a class. It's pathetic, really.

mrmarius

Heres another one we had a guy come on his off day and take the company truck so he could haul a transmission to put in his car...no one knew where the truck was for hours and they needed it

ZennzayK

Ahh! I work at a group home - I get it!

leafstucker16

Ya I did 3 months of night shifts at the hospital before going back to days, saw a ton of crazies every single night and it was pretty entertaining. One guy went into one of the rooms on one of the wards and fell asleep, when security woke him up he was claiming he was a magical unicorn. They kicked him out, 20 minutes later they find him sleeping in a bed on the elevator. He grabbed and empty bed from one of the hallways, pushed it in the elevator and went to sleep....pretty entertaining stuff though, made the nights fun!