A Tough Love Perspective

mashort07

I do want to make mention to those of you that think I'm giving up the stuff I love, that I'm not. However, there is no one thing I consider a "go-to" snack/treat/meal. I love potato chips, but I can live without them. I used to sit down with a bag and eat damn near the whole thing. It's not something I'm craving right now though. I turn to 100 calorie packs now, miniature candies (I love Mr. Goodbar), single serving snack bags, etc. When you eat dinner at 6pm and don't go to sleep 'til well after midnight, as is the case with me, you're going to be hungry at some point before bed. There's a difference between what some people think I'm doing, which is depriving myself, and what I'm actually doing, which is not allowing myself a day or an evening to spin a little out of control, for whatever reason. I'm sorry (I'm not looking back at the previous posts right now), but someone mentioned that if you completely deprive yourself, there's a good chance you'll reach a breaking point. I couldn't agree more with that, and I thank you for pointing it out. And thank you to everyone for your input.

Also, I've tried diet soda time and time again, and it's just not something I can get used to. So if I can maintain this one soda a day routine, I'll have no reason to switch over. Thanks for the suggestion, though!

Cathy92

I love your attitude and what you've written.."I concur!"...

afwg1979

Kudos to you for your discipline and perseverance, and congratulations on your loss.

Not sure I agree with using your own journey to make the way other people are doing it wrong. A very good friend of mine lost over 100 pounds with his 6+1 eating regimen. Monday through Saturday he ate within a particular calorie range, and Sunday he ate whatever he wanted to. He lost weight steadily and has kept it off.

Calling eating certain types of "cheating" is a crticism...and if someone describes their eating that way, I'm betting it's more of an indicator of how they feel about themselves than whether the eating is going to affect weight loss. This weight loss thing is a journey on all fronts--emotional and mental as well as physical. Everyone takes their own unique journey, and along the way many people must face what's working or not working about how they are traveling...and many times it's not about what they're eating, but what's going on with them or their lives that eating helps them cope with.

I think that the most important thing for anyone who is truly serious about getting to a healthy weight (and that doesn't necessarily include everyone on MFP) is to come at this thing as a permanent change in life and understand that a change this major will likely happen gradually over time, and that there will be a lot of learning about what works and doesn't work for a particular person. I haven't come at this the way you are, and yet I am very happy with the results I'm seeing.

I know myself well enough to know that if I approached this the way you are, I would fail miserably. While I am careful about what I eat and I'm tracking my daily calories (going on 230 days now!), being overstrict with myself and refusing to allow myself to eat certain foods is more in keeping with the yo-yo pattern that characterized my previous weight loss attempts, not at all like this journey, which is permanent and, I am confident, lasting.

I agree with your take on the use of the word "cheating" -- I have my little "moments" but I don't view them as cheating. My "moments" are thoughtful, not mindless. Thank goodness for my food and exercise trackers -- those two really do keep me on the straight and narrow whenever I want to "wander" a wee bit.

Anyway we slice it, this journey is, indeed, an experience in tough love. May we keep strong and prevail.

afwg1979

I do want to make mention to those of you that think I'm giving up the stuff I love, that I'm not. However, there is no one thing I consider a "go-to" snack/treat/meal. I love potato chips, but I can live without them. I used to sit down with a bag and eat damn near the whole thing. It's not something I'm craving right now though. I turn to 100 calorie packs now, miniature candies (I love Mr. Goodbar), single serving snack bags, etc. When you eat dinner at 6pm and don't go to sleep 'til well after midnight, as is the case with me, you're going to be hungry at some point before bed. There's a difference between what some people think I'm doing, which is depriving myself, and what I'm actually doing, which is not allowing myself a day or an evening to spin a little out of control, for whatever reason. I'm sorry (I'm not looking back at the previous posts right now), but someone mentioned that if you completely deprive yourself, there's a good chance you'll reach a breaking point. I couldn't agree more with that, and I thank you for pointing it out. And thank you to everyone for your input.

Also, I've tried diet soda time and time again, and it's just not something I can get used to. So if I can maintain this one soda a day routine, I'll have no reason to switch over. Thanks for the suggestion, though!

Great comment on potato chips -- those canned chips were recently referred to as "cancer in a can" -- check the full story on chips at MERCOLA.COM -- the research is eye opening. Potato chips are the #1 snack contributing towards obesity. I, for one, have decided to do without this toxic treat.

sarrah_n

If you are doing all of this to shed pounds RIGHT NOW, you would need to stick to a strict plan.

I beleive it is healthier to make the process gradual. You are suppposed to be learning good habits that you can follow through with in the long-run. If you can quit snacks cold turkey and never waiver, good for you. I, on the other hand, know I would be miserable in the long. I have learned to pay attention to WHAT and HOW MUCH I eat and have had great success over the last 4 months. These good lifestyle habits are now easier to maintain and I no longer have such a strong craving to the snacks I used to love. A better lifestyle means you can be healthy and HAPPY.

ladyphoto

I love the part when you said, "I've been rewarding myself for years! That's how I got this way" That is so true!!! And you are right.

kiesh82

I was all ready to raise my flag and disagree with what you wrote. I was all ready to say "no one is perfect" and blah blah blah. But to be honest you speak the truth. Many of us still need to get out of that "on/off diet" mindset and truly make this thing a way of life. Thanks for sharing.

UpEarly

Probably more depressing than motivating, but everyone wants to expedite the process.

Personally, I don't really want to expedite the process. I'm fine with the fact that it's taken me seven months to lose 39 pounds. I'm totally fine if it takes me a year or more to lose the last 12 pounds I want to lose. Even though I haven't met my final goal, I've already changed. My mindset is different. I'm different.

I don't follow a 'diet'. MFP is not a temporary state of being. I don't see weight loss as a 'journey', because that implies that there's an end to the process. I just started watching portion sizes and total calories. I may eat a brownie, but when I'm exercising I never think that I am exercising *because* I ate that brownie. I'm exercising because I enjoy it and it's good for me. I also don't believe in 'cheat days' because I indulge my cravings every single day. It's not cheating if it's part of the plan! I have done this since the very beginning of my time on MFP. No food has ever been 'bad' or 'forbidden' in my book.

dustyhockeymom

I don't see the difference between what you say you are doing with your soda and what you are saying other people shouldn't do. I treat myself some sort of treat almost everyday. Some days its a single piece of candy, some days if I have the calories I treat myself to something more indulgent.. I allow myself a day off from calorie counting once every few months, like tomorrow for my birthday. I don't call it a cheat day because I am not cheating as that implies something that I am doing wrong. I am allowing myself to not stress out about enjoying special food on a special day. I have a lot of realy thin friends and they eat special foods and allow themselves indulgences. Most of my naturally thin friends don't have extreme thinking about the foods they eat. They make healthy choices 90% of the time and dont worry about the rest. That is the type of attitude I am trying to develop about food.