Why would a guy do this? Angry and creeped out :S

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i_love_vinegar
i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
in Chit-Chat
Why would a guy keep making plans with a girl, and then ditch her last minute?

:indifferent: ANNOYING PART :indifferent: :
There is a guy I liked (not so much anymore), and I got mad at him yesterday because I feel he is leading me on. I am supposed to be helping him with his TOEFL...He always asks, "Can you help me?" but never actually asks for help.

Anyways, I decided to make peace with him because there is only 1 month till his test so if he becomes a complete douche after the test, I can tell everyone <.<

He will bring up, "we should hang out," but whenever I try and set a date/time, he is like, "Um...Maybe..."

Now I am getting annoyed though, because recently whenever HE asks, "Can we meet ____ at ____?" and I agree, he will ditch me!

Today we had planned to meet at 2:00. I apologized for getting mad at him, and we supposedly reconciled far enough in advance for him to show up as planned. He texts me at 2:00 and is like, "Sorry I cant make it. I am changing my school schedule."
I tried to be polite, "I understand ^^" So later today I decided to check his FB as I am basically the only person he uses it for (as far as wall posting...I have no idea about messages obviously).

:indifferent: CREEPY PART: :indifferent:

So keeping in mind that he basically only uses his FB to communicate with me (although I have no clue about messages obv), he writes, "It is so nice relaxing and watching ____(a tv show that I told him I started watching WTF) :D" ...I notice the number of hours ago and it was EXACTLY WHEN WE WERE SUPPOSED TO MEET! <.<

I am almost 100% certain the post was meant for me to read...esp since he posts this stuff in English and not only am I basically his only English-speaking "friend," but a lot of his posts seem to mimic me...and some are seeming almost crazed now...<.< I am developing a lot of hatred now....and getting a bit creeped out <.<

I am confused because he flirts with me in person and sometimes online. He asks for my help, but never actually asks for help. He mentions hanging out, but then goes, "Um...Maybe..." Then when it comes down to, "Can we meet at ___ at ____?" He ditches me...In class sometimes I will see him just staring at me...and now when he calls me he makes this really creepy voice like a serial killer and whispers my name...o_o Also, I was thinking about it, and when we are in a large group he always ends up next to me or I will see him kinda following me...

...I am getting a bit worried as I was stalked so much at my old school that I had to move...This guy is really good looking, but last year a guy who looked like a model tried raping me...o_o;;; I feel like I am being used for my English ability, but logically I'm not as he never seems to ask for help, and when he does he ditches me...

Does anyone have any idea what is going on here? I used to have a crush on this guy...until yesterday actually ^^
Sorry this is so long~but I have been posting about my crush on this guy and am now realizing he seems to be a little...off.
Thanks :embarassed:
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Replies

  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    the answers you got yesterday should suffice in answering your question today.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Didn't you post a similar thread yesterday where you said you weren't going to see him anymore? STOP SEEING HIM. Move on. There is nothing here for you. He can find someone else to help him with his English.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    Didn't you post a similar thread yesterday where you said you weren't going to see him anymore? STOP SEEING HIM. Move on. There is nothing here for you. He can find someone else to help him with his English.

    are you stalking me . . . or am I stalking you?
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    I didn't post yesterday, but I should have. You should have told him to f@ck off?
  • CathiAnne
    CathiAnne Posts: 193 Member
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    Run fast, run far. Get the heck away as fast as you can. There are red flags waving everywhere on this. Good luck.
  • harriet_tubman
    harriet_tubman Posts: 52
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    stop wasting your energy on him and focus it on more important things.
  • trailgetter
    trailgetter Posts: 29
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    He's Just Not That In to You....read the book. Stop telling yourself he'll change. He's a douche. I would "un-friend" him on FB and let him fend for himself on the test.

    You deserve better...but have to believe that first.

    Good luck girl.
  • spacecase76
    spacecase76 Posts: 673 Member
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    cut ties, move on.

    You are worth more than this jerk gives you credit for.
  • trilikeagirl
    trilikeagirl Posts: 218
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    Why would a guy keep making plans with a girl, and then ditch her last minute?

    Because he can.
    We teach people how to treat us. You can't make him do what he says he will, or what you want him too, but you can make sure it's not you he's treating that way.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
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    Something about you does not sound right to me. I just don't think I believe everything you are saying, part of it might be that the type of person you are frustrates me and comes off as pathetic and wanting attention. If you had real respect for youself and this **** is actually happening to you, you would have already done what you know you should do. I think this is really why I am calling bull****. I'll save my advice for someone who will take it and use it, this is your second post about this in 2 days so you don't really want peoples advice you just want opinions. Mine is worth too much to waste on you anymore
  • linda1243
    linda1243 Posts: 166
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    kind of sounds like you are the one stalking him. Most people would just cut him loose and move on. It's not like you are getting anything out of it but driving yourself nuts and checking his fb to check on him. is this the person you want to be? if not, then you need to just cut any and all communication. Guys absolutely hate that so he will probably try to get you back, but if you are strong enough to be on MFP then you are disciplined enough to ditch the db.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    It seems obvious to me that this guy;
    A) Comes from a culture that doesn't respect women.
    B) Has no idea how to deal with "Western" women.

    I come from a very very mixed family so I think its great when cultures mix, but its a 2-way street and some people just aren't willing to work from their end.

    Find someone else.
  • Captain_Mal
    Captain_Mal Posts: 945 Member
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    I would say unfriending him on FB...so you can't e-stalk him anymore or vice versa and completely avoiding him when you see him out will solve your problem. It might do you some good too. It works like this, you seem him approaching, you walk away or walk right by him even if he starts talking. That's the best advice I got.
  • jaid28
    jaid28 Posts: 4
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    My suspicion would be that he is married or has a girlfriend at home. At any rate I would suggest you not wasting anymore time and energy on anyone that is going to treat you like that. He may be obsessed with you, but he is really not "INTO" you. Spend time on something or someone else that will appreciate you. Good luck!
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Didn't you post a similar thread yesterday where you said you weren't going to see him anymore? STOP SEEING HIM. Move on. There is nothing here for you. He can find someone else to help him with his English.
    are you stalking me . . . or am I stalking you?
    :laugh:
  • Elisirmon
    Elisirmon Posts: 273 Member
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    Ok if he is this way right now when your not dating he isn't going to change if you guys do end up dating so seriously you need to value yourself and cut ties with him he isn't right for YOU! Plus if your concerned now about his weird behavior that's your indicator that he may end up hurting you emotionally and physically.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
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    I'd say get the hell over it. Move on. Unless you like weird people that act like immature kids, then go for it.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Maybe he doesn't want help .. he thought he would get laid ... and when he realized he wasn't going to get the goods, he didn't want to try to hang any more. He's sending you a message though, loud and clear, that he's not interested in hanging out with you. (because a guy would never do this if he was interested) .. so, take the hint and move on.
  • cppeace
    cppeace Posts: 764 Member
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    He's an inconsistant creep. You deserve better. Move on hon
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
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    I'm agreeing with everyone here. Doesn't matter how good looking he is...seems like a POS to me, and no matter how pretty you make it...it's still a POS.

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