My Reintroduction.

ThatDollSally

I left MFP 6 months ago. I had a lot of family issues going on and I decided that my mental health was more important than my physical health at the time. That was the right decision, but several months after I left and my thoughts returned to weight loss I was hesitant to join back up. After gaining back what I had lost I felt as if I had let the community down and didn’t feel worthy of coming back. My coping mechanism of eating my emotions kicked in even harder and I gained even more weight, eventually making it back over the 200 lb mark.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized that it’s not that I felt unworthy to be an MFP member, I felt unworthy as a person. After a rocky start to the semester and realizing that symptoms of my cyclic mood disorder were returning I decided to go back on antidepressants. I hate being medicated, but sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do in order to be ok. I’m happy to say that on this new course of medication I am back to being the positive person I am supposed to be and I once again feel worthy of the love friends give me and of being an MFP member.

My healthy eating habits started again a week ago with small things (I’m going to make this giant bag of discount Halloween candy last me at least a week!) and then without me realizing my healthy eating habits began to return, finding ways of grabbing somewhat healthy meals on the go instead of my go-to cheeseburger from Wendy’s. On this trip, I’ve eased up on my expectations and am choosing a calorie goal to start that is 1600 a day instead of 1200 a day. So much easier and so much more likely to achieve results! I’m also planning to start running again with the couch to 5k program as soon as the semester is over.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come. It was hell to go through, but I’m a better, more confident person for having done it. Now let’s just hope this new resolve lasts!