What to do?

wamaverick

I recently injured myself and met a really great massage therapist and he's also a personal trainer....soon to be my personal trainer...

I recently developed a work out buddy and she found out who my massage therapist was and just ripped on the poor guy.

I know that not everyone is perfect and we all make mistakes and some of us a "naughty past" but how do I politely tell her to keep her stupid remarks to herself instead of trying to influence my decisions about someone?

I understand the guy is a ladies man, a charmer, black, and a former stripper. All I can say is Mama likes chocolate but I"m also personally content with my boyfriend and plan to marry him when he's finished with school, but she is unrelentless on his poor qualities and also took the moment to let her prejudices show.

My co-worker and the guy use to date (wonders of a small community) and she said that he's a nice guy, wouldn't hurt a fly and is just a ladies man. I got no bad vibes from him at all, he was very professional and very great at massage and his body is a billboard for his abilities to work out.

So how do I tell this gal to leave her remarks in her head and not ruin my friendship at the same time?

Football_N_Guns

I think you just did.

KelLifts

I would tell her that while you appreciate that she is looking out for you. You want to form your own opinions on someone based on your interactions with him. Good luck to you.

sara709

Tell her that he's your massage therapist and you want him to be your trainer, not your boyfriend. You want his expertise and nothing else. We all have pasts - some not as gleaming and squeaky clean as others. I'm sure he's professional enough to keep his personal life out of work and his little buddy in his pants.

I'd also imagine he wouldn't appreciate her slandering him and ruining his business, either. Whatever her reason for doing it, let her know his personal life means nothing to you.

queenmedusa

Agree with the posts above, just cos he has a past doesn't make him a bad person or less of a professional. I know plenty of '[bad boys' and I'm sure you do even if you don't know it! Go see him on a professional therapist/trainer - client level and if he oversteps the boundaries you know what to do. He deserves to earn a living just as much as anyone and if you're happy with him being in your life in what are quite personal ways then go for it!

wamaverick

This was worked out. Not quite the way I had intended but there was more to her opinions than she shared and she has some foundations for some of them but I basically said that I wasn't interested in having someone else sway my decisions on a particular person and that she was entitled to her opinion and I mine.

I also took it as my opportunity to share that we all have a past, and though we have a past it doesn't entirely dictate our futures and that people change!

Thanks For you help!