jealous boyfriend

fatty2fabby

OMG.

My boyfriend is driving me CRAZY at the moment!!! Trying to start fights all the time, worrying about me going out, worrying about me talking to other guys etc.... I'm so mad at him he hasn't complimented me on the weightloss just turned unto this psycho.

Has this happened to anyone else? How did you deal with it?

Lobster1987

I had this issue. Have a serious talk to him about his jealousy and if it doesn't stop give him the boot. It's ridiculous unless you are actually giving him a reason to be jealous...(like sending naughty texts to other guys, etc.) I do not tolerate jealousy.

Yakisoba

Broke up with them.

I don't deal with ****.

niknak0508

OMG.

My boyfriend is driving me CRAZY at the moment!!! Trying to start fights all the time, worrying about me going out, worrying about me talking to other guys etc.... I'm so mad at him he hasn't complimented me on the weightloss just turned unto this psycho.

Has this happened to anyone else? How did you deal with it?

My BF did that to me a few weeks ago. I won't go in to detail on how I found out because I am still a bit embarrassed......... but anyways. After an argument he admitted he was scared that I was going to find someone "better" than him because I lost so much weight (94 pounds total). HE was making up excuses in his brain not to trust me......... I am pretty sure I have explained well enough that I am not going any where and I love him no matter what changes my body are showing, I came into this journey with him by my side and I intend on leaving this journey (which will never end) with him by my side. He has now turned his whole attitude around...... hopefully for good, because I don't know if I could handle another episode of that...... wish you the best!!

SueGeer

He's jealous of you & doesn't know how to cope so is expressing himself in a very negative way. Just reassure him that you still love him & you've made healthy changes for YOU and not to attract lecherous guys. :flowerforyou:

Sue x

thinkingthingirl

I was in a LDR with my latest bf and he would phone me up screaming down the phone that i was a dirty slag who was shagging everything that moved...i had only gone to the library to do uni work....obviously librarys have alot of shaggertunities.....righttttt.

Nothing puts stress on a relationship more than lack of trust. Maybe you should address this issue. Maybe ur bf is feeling insecure cos your losing weight and looking amazing (as weight loss gives confidense)

Men r silly i swear!

0PhAtDaDdY

OMG.

My boyfriend is driving me CRAZY at the moment!!! Trying to start fights all the time, worrying about me going out, worrying about me talking to other guys etc.... I'm so mad at him he hasn't complimented me on the weightloss just turned unto this psycho.

Has this happened to anyone else? How did you deal with it?

Guys that act like this in a lot of cases they r doing something they should not be doing so therfore they think u r doing something as well. Like the hit dog always hollowsssssssss.......Some guys do not want you to improve yourself they like you trapped right where you are...A jealous person is usally a insecure person...

NyxDominique

This happens alot more then you think actucallly. Most men are actucally VERY insecure even if they don't show it.

Just saying I was planning to lose weight started a fight in my house this was back before I even STARTED by weight-loss journey.

The best way to handle the situtation is communication. I know it is a tough subject. If you love each other. Sit down and talk about how secure you are in the relationship. If you happy or if you are unhappy with certain aspects of your relationships. If there is reason for him to feel insecure. If not reassure him that you really don't have any intention of leaving. That you are happy in the relationship. Explain that you are responsible enough to make the decision to turn someone away because you are already involved.

morenita71

Tell him that jealousy is not attractive. If he doesn't think he is good enough for you, why should you?

My long term partner of 20 years was a little bit jealous when we met and I made clear right from the start that he knew that I wouldn't tolerate it. (I'd seen some girl friends have their lives ruined by jealous boyfriends and had very over protective parents so I am obsessive about my independence.)

So far he's been very supportive about my recent weight loss but the other day when I was trying something on he said he thought it was too short and it all came out that he's worried now that because i've lost weight a shortish dress will attract more attention. I completely flipped my lid - one that he said it at all - what does too short mean? (my legs aren't bad! and it really wasn't that short...). And also that he was suggesting that I wasn't attractive before - implying that he was complacent about me being around - he felt there was no competition.

I explained to him that if anyone was ever going to be a threat to him it would be because of their personality and the fact that I got on with them really well. And that would be the same irrespective of my weight. Besides I'm not sure if a really good (male) friend started to find me attractive now because I'd lost weight I'd fall for that. My logic is that I'm still the same person as I was before weight loss and I'd be a bit disappointed in them to be honest.

After a bit of a discussion I think he's seen the error of his ways but I'm still a bit unsettled by his reaction...

In your case - it's tricky - if he's worth it- explain how you feel- if he's not, move on...

Good luck!

Secret_Agent_007

OMG.

My boyfriend is driving me CRAZY at the moment!!! Trying to start fights all the time, worrying about me going out, worrying about me talking to other guys etc.... I'm so mad at him he hasn't complimented me on the weightloss just turned unto this psycho.

Has this happened to anyone else? How did you deal with it?

Yup! And it was part of the reason I left her. The better shape I got in the more she hated me for it. I MUST be nailing everything that moves, why else would I want to lose weight?

I'm not suggesting you leave him but it's his insecurity issue. Not your fault.

kayla220220

he has jealousy issues
i hate to sound like a ***** but this is how he probs was before : he probs thought u were not in great shape, guys didnt look at u and he didn't feel challenged. But now your changing caring about ur looks, being healthy and guys are noticing he feels threatened

sunkisses

Broke up with them.

I don't deal with ****.

Yeah. This is about where I stand on this issue.

livnlite

OMG.

My boyfriend is driving me CRAZY at the moment!!! Trying to start fights all the time, worrying about me going out, worrying about me talking to other guys etc.... I'm so mad at him he hasn't complimented me on the weightloss just turned unto this psycho.

Has this happened to anyone else? How did you deal with it?

Simply put ... Jealousy is a devious emotion fuelled by insecurity.

The more you get a hold of your independence and confidence the more he becomes insecure, perhaps because he has some trust issues. No matter how you look at it, it's not a healthy balance. If he refuses to trust you, then you have got a bumpy road ahead.

Every relationship has some level of insecurity, especially in a new relationship. The longer you are together, the more you get to know your partner and what they are all about. The best way to combat that is communication. Talk about it, convince him that you are trustworthy, and he owes you a much higher level of respect.

RAFValentina

Mine did the same... I told him to grow up or get out!

thetrishwarp

I don't handle jealousy, it ends in a breakup for me. My last boyfriend was incredibly jealous, and he didn't even know me before I lost weight!

babybellyfat

I had a guy like that and I dump his *kitten*! If I would go to my moms friend next door just to bring her a spice couse she needed one he would look out at the balcony if im really going there. And when i would get back he would say GOOD you were saying the truth where your going. He would not wnat to take me out so no other guy would look at me and many other dum things. SO I dump him. Its dangerous to be with a guy like that.

fatty2fabby

thank you so much for taking the time to comment back everyone!! i really appreciate it :flowerforyou:

wellbert

People that have something to hide tend to act out like that.

sweat2lve

sounds like your boyfriend is insecure and thinks you might leave him because of the weight loss and the increased attention your getting thats why hes not complimenting you he doesnt like the challenge i went through tthis with my kids dad you have to set him straight and if that doesnt work cut him loose because the stress will hinder your weight loss

Akjenn89

OMG.

My boyfriend is driving me CRAZY at the moment!!! Trying to start fights all the time, worrying about me going out, worrying about me talking to other guys etc.... I'm so mad at him he hasn't complimented me on the weightloss just turned unto this psycho.

Has this happened to anyone else? How did you deal with it?

I'm going to -attempt- to play devil's advocate for a moment, just because all the answers I have read so far have been one-sided and only state, "Dump him".

Let's say your first instinct is to not dump him and you actually want to work it out. How unreasonable are the fights? What exactly does he start the fights over, and is it completely off the wall topics? Or are they somewhat feasible from his perspective, but ridiculous in comparison to your own goals? (Don't need to answer this to me, or anyone else on this thread for that matter). If that's the case, maybe it wouldn't be so bad explaining why you're doing this, explain your goals, and how his reactions are not on par with your motives for weight loss.

Have you attempted to sit down with him and tell him how you feel about him not complimenting you on your weightloss? Many people have different reasons for not saying anything on weight loss. Maybe it isn't about resentment like others have suggested. Maybe it's out of fear that if he compliments you on weighing less, it might be twisted as him not finding you as attractive before.


Also, according to Cosmo, big lifestyle changes should be a red flag to significant others. (Not that I'm holding any stock in cosmo or think they have any sort of true validity from a scientific perspective). However, various types of media do highlight the "Are they cheating on you" scandal (talk shows, magazines, even in regular tv shows). Often times they will list weight loss, personality changes, different taste in music, going out more, etc etc. as forms of possible signals that a mate should be worried that their partner is seeking out different mates. Is it so unreasonable to think that he might have a similar worry?

Anyway, even with all this said, if he ever gets abusive (verbally or physically) -- that is not okay. I did not get the impression that he was acting in such a way. However, if he is then yes, you need to find some support and get out of your current situation.

Vaanja

@ AKJenn ^ Mad props for trying to see both sides of a situation. Boyfriend + 'psycho' = a lot of kneejerk reactions.

Jealous psycho was a term an ex- applied to me all the way until I made contact with the other girlfriend and we both dumped him in unison.

colorfulcupcakes

This isn't simply "guy behavior" - this is a red flag, and should be seriously considered. There are lots of checklists on the internet.. try this one: http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/signs-that-you-may-have-an-abusive-boyfriend/

You're the expert on your own situation.

beachlove09

i have had this same situation happen to me for different reasons. i feel like its best if you are really honest with him and let him know how you are feeling. he should be so excited for how well you are doing and tell him that you want to enjoy your life and goals with him- that way he knows that hes not being left out

MusicKeepsMeSane

His jealousy could just be the fact that he's insecure and doesn't want to lose you or it could actually be that he's an abusive boyfriend and only wants you to himself. My boyfriend acted jealous in the beginning every time I talked about another friend that was a guy until we had a talk and I explained to him that there's no one else out there for me but him and that did the trick. Now he doesn't worry or act jealous anymore. I wouldn't dump him right away but you should have a talk with him about how you're feeling and if things don't change then it might be time to give him the boot. And maybe he's not complimenting you on your weight loss because he could be afraid of implying that you didn't look so great before and doesn't want to make you feel bad. Or sometimes guys are just completely oblivious to the obvious even though you losing 94 lbs. would definitely be noticeable!