Giving sufferer's of ED's a bad name.

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

I suffer from anorexia, along with other mental disorders. It makes me cringe when I see another ED sufferer encourage & support unhealthy behaviours on others. When I see someone who hasn't eaten enough I try encourage them to eat more then I see other sufferers congratulating them. Are they trying to kill that person? I don't understand how anyone can praise eating disorder thoughts & behaviours.
Even at my lowest of the low, I'd never want to see anyone go through what I go through. I don't want anyone else to go through this hell. If I could, I'd take everyone else's pain off them & suffer for them!
I just hate the bad picture we have, there some of us (like me) who would do anything to get rid of EDs.

MonkeyLover1993XxX

bump

I suffer from anorexia, along with other mental disorders. It makes me cringe when I see another ED sufferer encourage & support unhealthy behaviours on others. When I see someone who hasn't eaten enough I try encourage them to eat more then I see other sufferers congratulating them. Are they trying to kill that person? I don't understand how anyone can praise eating disorder thoughts & behaviours.
Even at my lowest of the low, I'd never want to see anyone go through what I go through. I don't want anyone else to go through this hell. If I could, I'd take everyone else's pain off them & suffer for them!
I just hate the bad picture we have, there some of us (like me) who would do anything to get rid of EDs.

tmarie2715

Luckily I've managed to befriend people who seem to be free of ED. It is def not helpful for people who are mentally ill to be egged on by the people who are not suffering from ED. In order to keep you healthy and on the right track, I wouldn't do anything but delete. You can't save the world, and chances are a couple posts from you about eating more is not going to help them get the help they need. Delete to prevent triggering and keep trying.

GL.

Aviendha_RJ

OMG - Can't tell you how many times I've seen "good job" written by friends onto days when someone had COFFEE for breakfast... & salad for lunch, & 180 calories of SOUP for dinner. THEN they exercise like, 2000 calories off, & have a deficit of 2500 calories for the day. I could SHOOT people! :explode:

When I say "you should have more for breakfast... some eggs, or some cereal with fruit... a piece of toast and peanut butter and some yogurt or something" I get UNFRIENDED.

These people make me sick. And the REALLY sad part? They're making THEMSELVES sick in the name of getting healthy.

wbgolden

oh that ED. nevermind...

sarahkatara

It's very sad. I struggled horribly for years and am in recovery from anorexia. it's a terrible thing. Try and find healthy friends and if you need any healthy support, encouragement, or motivation, please friend me. if health is your goal, i'm happy to be there for you. i know what it's like- it sucks, but it's going to be the best thing you ever do.

JacksMom12

Luckily I've managed to befriend people who seem to be free of ED. It is def not helpful for people who are mentally ill to be egged on by the people who are not suffering from ED. In order to keep you healthy and on the right track, I wouldn't do anything but delete. You can't save the world, and chances are a couple posts from you about eating more is not going to help them get the help they need. Delete to prevent triggering and keep trying.

GL.

THIS ^^

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

OMG - Can't tell you how many times I've seen "good job" written by friends onto days when someone had COFFEE for breakfast... & salad for lunch, & 180 calories of SOUP for dinner. THEN they exercise like, 2000 calories off, & have a deficit of 2500 calories for the day. I could SHOOT people! :explode:

When I say "you should have more for breakfast... some eggs, or some cereal with fruit... a piece of toast and peanut butter and some yogurt or something" I get UNFRIENDED.

These people make me sick. And the REALLY sad part? They're making THEMSELVES sick in the name of getting healthy.

It frustrates me so much too. I've also been unfriended loads of times trying to encourage others to eat more. Some sufferer's of EDs can have quite manipulative personalities too so they can suck anyone in easily.

WifeNMama

For the majority of site users, being slightly under for calories warrants a "good job". If any of my friends on here have an ED, I don't know about it, so I'm hoping that they are all using this site to get healthier, not starve themselves. I certainly don't want to encourage a victim of ED to harm themselves, but I also dont want to intrude by asking personal questions. Also, I usually don't read every diary.
If people with EDs are using this site to monitor their food to make sure they are getting enough calories, I applaud them for being diligent in taking care of themselves. Hopefully this is the case.

MusicKeepsMeSane

It's very sad. I'm trying to recover from an ED and some days where I eat little food I'm still getting comments saying "awesome" "good job", etc. I see that on everyone else's too. I notice that some people eat like a total of 900 calories for the day and then burn 500 during exercise. That's only a net of 400 a day and that shouldn't be encouraged. Whenever I see that I tell people that they need to try and get a net of at least 1200 calories. I get so angry when people are encouraging / giving positive feedback to people who are making very unhealthy eating decisions. If I don't like the comments I get from people on days when I have a bad day I will unfriend them. I don't need people encouraging negative behavior!

Phoenix1401

oh that ED. nevermind...

LMAO! I KNOW RIGHT?
Sadly that's why I came here just to giggle and think about "Smilin Bob" xD

rebeccaME207

For the majority of site users, being slightly under for calories warrants a "good job". If any of my friends on here have an ED, I don't know about it, so I'm hoping that they are all using this site to get healthier, not starve themselves. I certainly don't want to encourage a victim of ED to harm themselves, but I also dont want to intrude by asking personal questions. Also, I usually don't read every diary.
If people with EDs are using this site to monitor their food to make sure they are getting enough calories, I applaud them for being diligent in taking care of themselves. Hopefully this is the case.

i agree! Im here cause i cant stay under my cals ! we are all here for different goals. and if I see a pal who wants to be a bit under not over in order to be healthier im gonna praise the. I think this place encourages healthy living and eating not way to just drink coffee all day!

kenzietea

I suffer from anorexia, along with other mental disorders. It makes me cringe when I see another ED sufferer encourage & support unhealthy behaviours on others. When I see someone who hasn't eaten enough I try encourage them to eat more then I see other sufferers congratulating them. Are they trying to kill that person? I don't understand how anyone can praise eating disorder thoughts & behaviours.
Even at my lowest of the low, I'd never want to see anyone go through what I go through. I don't want anyone else to go through this hell. If I could, I'd take everyone else's pain off them & suffer for them!
I just hate the bad picture we have, there some of us (like me) who would do anything to get rid of EDs.

I completely agree. It took me years to conquer my battle with an eating disorder, and I never thought such behavior would be glorified. I understand wanting to befriend others going through the same thing, but in order to be strong and support each other to have the courage to try and get healthy, not to encourage this deadly behavior.

LemonPoppySeedMuffin

Even if someone is overweight & they are clearly starving themselves, I will say something. Nobody's body deserves to be starved, no matter how big or small they are.

rebeccaME207

obviously!

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LemonPoppySeedMuffin

It is sick and wrong....but...but....
you should know better than anyone that hearing, "Eat more honey, you're too thin." only encourages.
In a world where that's all you hear, it's nice to have an ally.
In the world of addiction, addicts encourage addicts. Here, do another line with me.
Sucks, but not being alone is nice.
Sick and wrong, but that's the point.

You can show someone that they aren't alone by other forms. How can you justify encouraging their bad ED behaviours?

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TheDoctor90

It is sick and wrong....but...but....
you should know better than anyone that hearing, "Eat more honey, you're too thin." only encourages.
In a world where that's all you hear, it's nice to have an ally.
In the world of addiction, addicts encourage addicts. Here, do another line with me.
Sucks, but not being alone is nice.
Sick and wrong, but that's the point.

You can show someone that they aren't alone by other forms. How can you justify encouraging their bad ED behaviours?

That's not what she said. No where did she say you can justify encouraging ED behaviour. What Erin said (and is completely correct) is that saying 'eat more, you're too skinny' rarely has the desired effect, and actually, only encourages poor behaviour.

caveats

Yeah, Erin's right. The "you're too thin" confirms for the person with ED that what they're doing is correct (because they WANT the "too thin" look -- think about what supermodels look like -- TOO THIN!) <--- also, to clarify, I also did not read into Erin's comment that she encourages ED behavior, and neither do I

What we need to encourage is healthy eating. So "eat more, eat this, eat that" because "I'm worried about your health" and "I care about you" is the message we're trying to get across.

olivetree_

There's this girl I know, she has anorexia and bulimia. She used to look at pictures of stunningly beautiful girls and call them fat and ugly; she'd tell people that they were gross and if she looked like them, she'd cry every day. She's told me and a lot of other people to "befriend" Ana and Mia. I cannot explain how angry that makes me. When you have an ED, you know how hard and terrible it is to deal with it. How can you encourage someone to go through the same pain?

cmriverside

I don't comment on my friends diaries or "Completed diary" posts for that very reason. I wish the site admin would just make that stop appearing in the feed.

But OP, I agree that you don't have to take this on. Just worry about your journey and don't let these things get you down.

Johnnyswife

oh that ED. nevermind...

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

l00zrr

OMG - Can't tell you how many times I've seen "good job" written by friends onto days when someone had COFFEE for breakfast... & salad for lunch, & 180 calories of SOUP for dinner. THEN they exercise like, 2000 calories off, & have a deficit of 2500 calories for the day. I could SHOOT people! :explode:

When I say "you should have more for breakfast... some eggs, or some cereal with fruit... a piece of toast and peanut butter and some yogurt or something" I get UNFRIENDED.

These people make me sick. And the REALLY sad part? They're making THEMSELVES sick in the name of getting healthy.

This. I mean seriously, they can be thin al they want, but it's never okay to starve yourself and have a deficit just to lose a few pounds fast.
We need to encourage people to eat enough calories, and burn off a normal amount of weight. Not eat a slice of toast and then run for 4 hours. That's just not healthy, and I know people who have died from it. They need support for eating RIGHT, not eating less.

marzahl68

I had a friend on here who is starving herself. I ended up not knowing how to help or support her. All her avatars were about not eating, most if not all of her posts were about calling herself fat and putting herself on a fast as if to punish herself for eating 600 calories the day before. There wasn't a single positive thing and there wasn't anything that would at least suggest that she was trying to overcome this.
Seeing her posts and photos on my feed was really upsetting. I unfriended her.

mfpseven

OMG - Can't tell you how many times I've seen "good job" written by friends onto days when someone had COFFEE for breakfast... & salad for lunch, & 180 calories of SOUP for dinner. THEN they exercise like, 2000 calories off, & have a deficit of 2500 calories for the day. I could SHOOT people! :explode:

When I say "you should have more for breakfast... some eggs, or some cereal with fruit... a piece of toast and peanut butter and some yogurt or something" I get UNFRIENDED.

These people make me sick. And the REALLY sad part? They're making THEMSELVES sick in the name of getting healthy.

Well you do have to consider the stage at which people are, I have friends that have trouble convincing themselves to eat more that just that salad for lunch, If i see they added soup it may very well be an accomplishment.

I see people here that are happy with their lifestyle at this point knowing it isn't healthy. So i try to have them switch that candy bar they had that made up half their calories to an equivalent amount of nourishing food to start. The BIGGEST problem with EDs is the fact that it is a mental disorder, and until the person is ready to do for themselves there is nothing you have told them that will make them change your ways.

The best I know I can do is encourage them to think about it if they are unsure if they have a problem and to get food that will benefit them in the long run. When they do end up in recovery to congratulate even small victories and to be understanding and encouraging if they slip. This is an addiction type scenario, you wouldn't tell an addict to just stop using and you wouldn't tell an anorexic to just eat. It is a huge step and a long (mostly mental) process.

I do understand that seeing this behavior can make someone in recovery cringe, but it was that hard for you also. It's great that people see what they put themselves thru and feel remorse but that comes later.

Unknown

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