Embarrassed to diet

velarneyraptor

Everyone should be ok with someone wanting to eat better and stay healthy. You don't have to use the "d" word!

You are right....as people have said this is a "lifestyle change" not a diet, i took the time to teach myself this a few months ago and slowly my days eating is becoming regular and healthier without me even thinking about what am picking up to eat! so once i got that under control i will concentrate on loosing some of the weight now!

Well done If you feel motivation starting to wane, just think of your little boy (I looked at your profile) - you want to be a good role model for him by the time he starts running around and getting up to mischief, you'll be fit and healthy and able to catch him :P Sorry, sounds a bit corny and cliched, but I think it's a cliche for a reason...

Leigh_mc

Very very true!!!!! after reading all this i got changed and went out running and felt great doing it, Just need to keep myself going in a straight line i think thank you everyone again!!!

lacroyx

So what you mean to say is that you are embarrased to be healthy.

Why do you care what other people say? Are you doing this for them or are you doing this for yourself?

^
This. I never brought it up unless I was asked. People never questioned especially since I had diabetes. keyword had. I no longer have it. now that I lost over 100+ lbs. people ask what my secret is. they get dissappointed when I tell them move more, eat less, eat more healthy. they are expecting some sorta magic pill or something.

LilMissFoodie

I would feel the same.

Not sure what you are eating for lunch but the way I see it, 'diet food' is just 'normal food' as opposed to crap from the canteen or whatever. So I wouldn't necessarily feel like I had to defend myself for eating it. I guess the difference is if you don't usually eat a lot of whole foods, then it's more noticeable I suppose. I always eat healthily, I just eat less when I'm trying to lose weight so it's not such an obvious difference. Anyway, perhaps you could ask them why they think whatever you are having for lunch is a 'diet' food? Put the heat back on them!! haha

I do often get asked if I am a vegetarian though - nope, I just like tofu, chickpeas and quorn for my lunch!!

Leigh_mc

I would feel the same.

Not sure what you are eating for lunch but the way I see it, 'diet food' is just 'normal food' as opposed to crap from the canteen or whatever. So I wouldn't necessarily feel like I had to defend myself for eating it. I guess the difference is if you don't usually eat a lot of whole foods, then it's more noticeable I suppose. I always eat healthily, I just eat less when I'm trying to lose weight so it's not such an obvious difference. Anyway, perhaps you could ask them why they think whatever you are having for lunch is a 'diet' food? Put the heat back on them!! haha

I do often get asked if I am a vegetarian though - nope, I just like tofu, chickpeas and quorn for my lunch!!

Thats it, i always thought i eat quite healthy meals (just alot of it and not ALWAYS the most healthy) so i just started making smaller portions, and putting more fruit it...i had always eaten fruit so thats not a problem untill i would turn up to lunch i wouldnt feel hungry so i would just have an apple and an orange or something then people started to ask questions, i always palmed the question off telling them i just wasn't hungry but then when i started taking salads in during the summer months the same questions i just told them it was a summer meal! but i just found it got me down having to reason why am eating always i think.... one thought that crosses my mind is if a person of ideal weight/slim would eat the same things as me for lunch no questions would be asked but because i am over weight they ask i suppose it gets me down after a while but this thread certainly picks me right back up again!!!!

Aljos

My friends it's a lifestyle change for us, just ignore them and be proud of what you do to improve yourself and be healthy.
These threads are the ones that keep me strong and helps me validate myself. .. One step at a time you'll get stronger,
leaner and healthy. They will be either inspired or jealous of your accomplishments.

velarneyraptor

Very very true!!!!! after reading all this i got changed and went out running and felt great doing it, Just need to keep myself going in a straight line i think thank you everyone again!!!

Excellent to hear

shelly650

I completely understand!! The only difference is im still in school, so its not exactly the "cool" thing to be doing! However, there are about two of my friends who are conscious of what they eat! (They arent overweight or anything) so its not like im the only one eating healthy foods!!

Unknown

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i_love_vinegar

I tell people on MFP obviously, my mom, and a few guy friends. I have some amazing friends here who I honestly love and adore >.< I feel happy being able to speak of my weight loss and goals with them without negativity >.< My mom is amazing as well since she is around my size and knows that weighing 80-90 pounds is OK for our build so she is encouraging and an awesome diet buddy! I really love my mom! >.< Then some of my guy friends often are on diets as well (they do not need to diet either, but also like the "very skinny" look and do not put me down for wanting to lose weight).

Female friends often complain about how thin I am (in that "Youre so lucky" way) so I do not ever tell them I am on a diet...

I was really surprised when I realized I can talk to male friends about diets, but not female friends haha. Maybe you will find that the least expected people will be the most supportive, OP.

Good luck everyone!

goodasgoldilox165

"No, its not a diet - I'm doing this for a bet!"

stevwil41

Wow! For a wesite that seems to be big on the whole supportive thing there are a lot of negative people in this thread. I supposed if you want to live your life as a hermit you can not deal with people noticing you but that's not realisitic. Most of us work and deal with people on multiple levels every day of our lives. Being offend and swearing at them or about them because they take notice of us is really not the best attitude to have. Do you really want to go through life completely anonymous with no one every really seeing you? I don't. It sounds like a miserable way to live to me.

To the original poster, I don't really know what to tell about being embarrassed when someone notices you trying to better yourself. No one is perfect and realizing you need to work on something about yourself isn't a sign of weakness in my opinion, it's a sign of strength and self awareness. You know that you need to change something about yourself and you're proactively doing something about it. As for falling off the wagon after people start noticing you're looking better? Well, most of us have done that. It happens. Now that you realize that's a problem, it's just something else to work on. Losing weight is relatively easy for me, learning how to maintain my weight has been much, much harder. This time around I think I've got it figured out for me but it's something I've been focused on since I started changing my eating habits. I'm very aware of everything I eat, even when I'm making poor choices and I make sure that I don't do that too often and it seems to work for me. Good luck with your journey.

fiberartist219

I know that when I'm thinner, it feels like people objectify me a lot more. When I'm heavier, people only pay attention to me for what I have to say, or what I am wearing. They want to know about things I did on purpose. When I was thin, I wasn't thin on purpose. That's just how my metabolism worked at the time. I didn't want everyone commenting on it. Now that I'm overweight, no one says a darn thing about my body, and I don't mind that!

I also had someone commenting on a "salad and diet coke" that I was having for lunch one day. He said it sounded "horrible." I said, "I'm eating a giant bowl of none of your business." He walked away as I intended for him to do. :laugh:

fiberartist219

I know that we *should* be positive when talking to others about our fitness goals, but honestly, when I am trying to eat right and work out, that is enough of a struggle on it's own, without the added pressure of everyone telling me what I should and should not eat.

A desire to be left alone is not "mean".

Feel free to change the subject if it's not something you're ready to talk about.

When I'm on my lunch break at work, there are two topics that are not up for discussion, and that's my health and my work. If someone wants to talk to me about work, they have to wait until I clock back in. If someone wants to talk to me about my heath, they better be a doctor or nurse. I don't work with any doctors or nurses, so I don't want to hear it.

SueGremlin

I never talk about it to anyone. No need to explain anything to anyone.

Matttdvg

Embarrassment stopped me from trying to lose weight for a long time. I wanted to do it, but I didn't want people to know I was doing it. I don't know why. Saying that I'm trying to lose weight just seemed totally out of character for me and weird. Another part of it was the fear of failure. I didn't want to try to lose weight, fail, and then be seen as a failure to my family and friends. But now that I've actually started, everyone is very supportive and encouraging, and I wish I had started sooner.

DWilbanks

I joined the site when a friend at work recommended it to all the participants of a biggest looser competition at work. We all weighed in every week and alot of people tried to help each other by having walking pals and discussing low cal lunches and such. Maybe you could start a contest at your own work? That way when you realize you're not alone in your fight for fitness, it won't seem as bad? Just a thought. I'm looking forward to hear how I placed in the final week this past week.

StevLL

I tell everyone I know about what I'm doing and MFP. (i'm sure they are tired of it, but I love this place) I don't see it as a diet, but as a long range eating habit to keep the weight off. I try to eat with lots of flavor, so a lot of the time the only comments I get are "will you bring me lunch tomorrow?" Don't be embarrassed about trying to get healthy, but that being said take time to explore the emotions involved with your eating and food choices as I believe that is an integral part of my success. Understanding why I eat when I'm clearly full or clearly know my choice is poor has helped me a lot. Re-think why you are doing this and if it's for you, it won't matter what others think.

melainemelaine

Me too!

I get uncomfortable when people notice or want to talk about it with me (Other than my husband and a couple close friends). The last time I was on a diet I talked about it with a few friends and then fell off the wagon. I was mortified.

Now that I'm losing again, I don't want anyone to see me yet because I don't want to have that judgment forever after where they think "has she lost more weight? Has she gained it back?".

I've even lied about it to people or purposely saved calories so I could look like I'm eating "normally".

Don't do that! If they say 'Are you on a diet or what?!' they are for sure just jealous that you got around to make changes and they are too weak to say no to the crappy diet!

Be proud that you make the changes to eat healthier!

Leigh_mc

Wow! For a wesite that seems to be big on the whole supportive thing there are a lot of negative people in this thread. I supposed if you want to live your life as a hermit you can not deal with people noticing you but that's not realisitic. Most of us work and deal with people on multiple levels every day of our lives. Being offend and swearing at them or about them because they take notice of us is really not the best attitude to have. Do you really want to go through life completely anonymous with no one every really seeing you? I don't. It sounds like a miserable way to live to me.

To the original poster, I don't really know what to tell about being embarrassed when someone notices you trying to better yourself. No one is perfect and realizing you need to work on something about yourself isn't a sign of weakness in my opinion, it's a sign of strength and self awareness. You know that you need to change something about yourself and you're proactively doing something about it. As for falling off the wagon after people start noticing you're looking better? Well, most of us have done that. It happens. Now that you realize that's a problem, it's just something else to work on. Losing weight is relatively easy for me, learning how to maintain my weight has been much, much harder. This time around I think I've got it figured out for me but it's something I've been focused on since I started changing my eating habits. I'm very aware of everything I eat, even when I'm making poor choices and I make sure that I don't do that too often and it seems to work for me. Good luck with your journey.

I would agree i wouldn't be nasty to anyone asking, am not that sort of person! lol but you are right and i need to start thinking this way to keep myself going because at the moment i will eat great when am at home with my family etc but soon as am in work i make bad decisions if grabbing a snack or something, i have been trying to take everything i need in with me so i dont need to buy anything but then i started buying stuff to stop people from asking "why" but that is stopping for sure!!!!
Thank you again everyone, it is nice to know that am not strange for feeling bad for people paying complements and putting weight back on, tomorrow in work i will drop into the conversation with some of my closer colleagues that i am making this life change and all about mfp, hopefully it will stop some of the questions then at least! am not normally one to share anything about myself, but i am a very outgoing person still...but i think it is time to start letting people in on what am doing since i clearly can't do this alone since am in this place at the moment!!!! but monday is the new start and serious attempt to change!

again thank you everyone! it is great to have the support about!!

bcattoes

Just say you are trying to eat healthier. Nothing to be embarassed about focusing on your health.

Sublog

Does anyone else get this? i find it hard to admit to anyone in work that i am dieting in the first pace, and also hate it when i get my lunch out in work and inevitably the question "are you on a diet or something?" comes about....Maybe am seeing it as a sign of weakness that i am having to do this and don't want to admit that to anyone?
Also when ever i have lost weight i and other people notice and pass comment not to say am embarrassed of them noticing me, but its it like as soon as people start to notice i stop looking after myself once again and start to put weight back on again i seem to do this every single time i have lost weight and i don't know why!!!!
Does any one else ever do this at all, would love to hear everyones opinion/advice on this matter!!!

I diet with IIFYM principles. Most people are mad that I eat steak and ice cream and lose weight.

WoWmamaErin

I went to a neighbours party last Saturday. Some of the neighbours friends I had met at a party in July. They didn't know who I was! I'd lost 50 lbs since they saw me last and had to go up to the host to ask "who's that girl"? When told that I was the neighbour across the street apparently they were all like "No, that's not right, the girl I met before was a big girl".

Then they would come up to me and congratulate me on my weight loss and ask what my 'secret' was! To be honest... it felt great! I said thank you with a big smile on my face and answered any questions they had. The only bad part is that I felt I was talking about my weight loss all night and it was getting a little boring.

But it did feel amazing and I wasn't embarrassed at all! I was embarrassed when I was 250-270 lbs... not now at 202 and working to get down more!

I also feel like I'm keeping myself accountable by talking about it. I'm supporting/providing motivation to others who want it, while getting support in return. I feel great!

DiamondInTheDirt

My friends look wierdly at me because i dont want to go to mc donalds, i tell them that im trying to loose weight but they still try to sabotage my efforts...am kind of embarassed to say anything anymore because i feel its my choice to eat better and everyone looks at me as though im an alien...so i just think to myself...ahhh we will see who is more likely to get diabetes or die..my way of eating, or theirs? All my friends are skinny no matter what they eat...but i bet you if theyre body was an accurate measure of what they ate, they would be morbidly obese...and im sure as hell they would say stuff like ' i just love burgers so much, i have such an amazing love for crappy foods'.

Debadoo2018

you should say this:

"im not dieting...im just trying to be more awre of what i eat...oh and *kitten* YOU..."

but thats casue im a ***** and would never say that anyways...

**** them...this is for YOU

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

skatermom503

Hi
I have felt like that so don't feel alone. I don't think people mean anything by it but they don't understand how personal dieting is. I had gastric bypass a month ago and only 3 people know about it. I think it is because I don't want people watching me and I am afraid of what they will think if I fail. Keep at it and don't worry about other's comments. They will get used to it and not say anything within a week. Good luck.

JULIUSKITTY

I'd be embarrassed about eating like a pig like most people!! wish we could take a look into there diarys! Im proud of myself just for that thought on the changes I made starting mfp this week! good luck! dont worry about others this is about you and your health! when people ask me personal questions that Im not confortable answering I smile and say " wouldnt you like to know" lol

bllowry

I used to feel that way; and since I no longer work at the office (I work from home) people don't see me regularly so the weight loss is now more pronounced. I had one woman in our office bug me for over half an hour, following me about the office with 'no seriously, what diet are you on?' I don't consider my health issues to be anyone's business, but finally I told her I'm diabetic and I can't eat the crap she eats if I want to live. I'm not normally a rude person, but please, how many times do I have to say 'eat less and move more' for you to get it? She's been huffy with me ever since and last week snootily said she hoped I kept all my fat clothes because I would gain all the weight back. And she wonders why I don't refer my clients to her (she's a loan officer) :noway:

kyle4jem

I would feel the same.

Not sure what you are eating for lunch but the way I see it, 'diet food' is just 'normal food' as opposed to crap from the canteen or whatever. So I wouldn't necessarily feel like I had to defend myself for eating it. I guess the difference is if you don't usually eat a lot of whole foods, then it's more noticeable I suppose. I always eat healthily, I just eat less when I'm trying to lose weight so it's not such an obvious difference. Anyway, perhaps you could ask them why they think whatever you are having for lunch is a 'diet' food? Put the heat back on them!! haha

I do often get asked if I am a vegetarian though - nope, I just like tofu, chickpeas and quorn for my lunch!!

Thats it, i always thought i eat quite healthy meals (just alot of it and not ALWAYS the most healthy) so i just started making smaller portions, and putting more fruit it...i had always eaten fruit so thats not a problem untill i would turn up to lunch i wouldnt feel hungry so i would just have an apple and an orange or something then people started to ask questions, i always palmed the question off telling them i just wasn't hungry but then when i started taking salads in during the summer months the same questions i just told them it was a summer meal! but i just found it got me down having to reason why am eating always i think.... one thought that crosses my mind is if a person of ideal weight/slim would eat the same things as me for lunch no questions would be asked but because i am over weight they ask i suppose it gets me down after a while but this thread certainly picks me right back up again!!!!

McNeill... you have nothing to be embarrassed about, but I know it's so much harder for blokes because MEN DON'T DIET. You drink beer, watch football, obsess about Jordan's boobies and swear a lot. Mend don't sit round and swap diet tips.

I'm lucky... I'm a p**f. Not in the Graeme Norton/Alan Carr-camper than a yellow duster-sense, but nevertheless, I am what I am. When I started to lose weight... all my best friends my female colleagues all noticed and were very encouraging. Of course my straight male colleagues have never passed a comment and I wouldn't expect them to.

Funnily enough, I get lost of comments about my meal choices... not because they think... are you on a diet... but because I love my food and appear with .. in their opinion... amazing foods such as Ryvita with cottage cheese and smoked salmon, smoked haddock chowder, some of the leftovers I take for lunch etc... I think I have shown them that dieting doesn't have to be about salads and raw veggies. I eat like a king... just in calorie-controlled portions :happy:

And if they ask..."Are you on a diet?" maybe it's time to say, "Well, yes. To be honest I'm way too heavy and I need to lose some weight." if you're brave enough, you might add.... "... and to be frank... you could do with losing a few lbs too mate!" :bigsmile:

teri1956

"Don't let third party opinions about you shape what you're going to be"

You've said it already - You're doing the right thing, but not having faith in yourself is sabotaging your efforts.

Regards,