Lost all my friends

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SenoraMacias
SenoraMacias Posts: 305 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hello! Well here is my story- I had to take a break from MFP for a couple months because I was getting a little carried with it and the scale was running my life. Long story short, I came back, and pretty much everyone had defriended me! Personally, I think that's rude! Is this a common thing? To lose your friends if you don't log on every single day?
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Replies

  • april_beth
    april_beth Posts: 617 Member
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    well, if you left for MONTHS then people pthink you arent taking it seriously and if you arent communicating with people or being a support or them supporting you what's the point of keeping you. that sounded rude...eeesh, i didnt mean it to sound that way tho. id expect to get deleted if i wasnt around for awhile.

    but ps...glad youre back, get some new friends and kick your butt!!!
  • bumflapassassin
    bumflapassassin Posts: 316 Member
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    Hello billy no mates! I de-friend people for different reasons but not because they're inactive. I'll be your friend if you like
  • DietingMommy08
    DietingMommy08 Posts: 1,366 Member
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    If somebody on my friends list dont log in for about a week they get deleted. Only bcuz I need to keep my friends list down to a minimum so I can keep track of who I hear from and who I give support too.
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,293 Member
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    I usually delete people after they do not log on for 3 months.

    There is only a limited number of friends you can have on MFP so if someone is not logging on, what is the point in having them take up the "friend space"?
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
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    Sorry to hear that! I know from personal experience, unless I am notified of the absence, there is a higher likelihood I would delete. But, if I was told why beforehand, I would not have done so. So, it really just depends on each individual.
  • vsyates
    vsyates Posts: 373 Member
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    First of all you said that you took a break for a "few months" which is a little longer than not logging on "every single day" :smile: I maintain my friend list and only keep active those that look to me like they are serious about using MFP. If I had a friend on my list who didn't log in for a few months, I would defriend them too.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    If you don't log in for a couple of months and your friends don't know why, it isn't surprising that some of them would have deleted you. Lots of people lose motivation and stop coming to the site.

    You'll make new friends. :flowerforyou:
  • FreshStart89
    FreshStart89 Posts: 297 Member
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    I do delete people who havent logged in a while or who dont show support. I mean whats the point of having pals if they never log in or dont give you words of encouragement, feedback, tips, etc?...
  • hdhbam
    hdhbam Posts: 40
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    Yep. If you hadn't logged in for months I would have totally deleted you.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    I delete people if they haven't logged on for over a month, and I don't have a personal relationship with them. There are people I wouldn't delete for being gone that long.
  • Kelly_Wilson1990
    Kelly_Wilson1990 Posts: 3,245 Member
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    I delete people that are not active.
  • Becoming_A_Butterfly
    Becoming_A_Butterfly Posts: 2,534 Member
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    I don't think it's rude for people to remove you from their Friends if you were inactive for several months. Assuming you lost interest or were not coming back is not out of line if you weren't here for months, especially if you didn't notify people you would not be here for a while.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    It depends for me. If there is someone on my friend list that I don't know well that hadn't logged in for months, then I would delete. If it is someone I interact with regularly and like, I would keep for much longer hoping they come back.
  • beccyleigh
    beccyleigh Posts: 847 Member
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    Did you tell your friend list what you were planning to do or did you just disappear without a word?

    Personally I defreind anyone who hasn't logged on for a while, unless I know they are taking a break or away/buy for a while.

    I'm looking for support & people who are needing support & not interested in having tons of friends, I have less than 10 on my list as it isn't a popularity contest for me, I want people who are on the same path or are similar to me..

    I'm sure you will get more friends soon.
  • writtenINthestars
    writtenINthestars Posts: 1,933 Member
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    I don't think it's necessarily rude...if you aren't logging on and or communicated your future absence, people may just disconnect and free up space for other friends. Personally, I delete for inactivity because to me that person isn't using the site and I keep my list short so deleting them makes it easier for me to add new people.

    Then again I'm pretty cut throat when it comes to deleting people...it is, after all, MY fitness pal.

    Good luck to you! Welcome back!
  • Iceskatefanrn
    Iceskatefanrn Posts: 489 Member
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    I don't find it rude at all. I delete people that show they haven't logged in for 2 months or more. Just to keep my friends list managable. No point in having "friends" that are no longer a part of your community!

    I'd happily REFRIEND anyone I deleted that decided to come back!
  • lilyinlove
    lilyinlove Posts: 441 Member
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    Yep, I too delete people who are not active or those who don't give any support at all!
  • riley711
    riley711 Posts: 298 Member
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    A lot of people, myself included, will delete friends who have not logged in for 30 days in a row. Especially without explanation. If you don't tell them you're taking a break, they just think you gave up or are no longer serious about this journey. I look to my friends for encouragement, support and motivation, and I give the same in return. I'm not here to colllect lots of friends. I have a relationship with each one. So if they can disappear for months at a time with no explanation, then they may not be the best "friend" to have.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
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    It depends for me. If there is someone on my friend list that I don't know well that hadn't logged in for months, then I would delete. If it is someone I interact with regularly and like, I would keep for much longer hoping they come back.


    ^^ THIS. I have a core group I would keep around, regardless, but would send encouraging messages. I have done that, in fact and when they were ready, they sent me a PM to let me know what was going on, so I kept them.
  • christy_frank
    christy_frank Posts: 680 Member
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    It is common. I delete friends who are inactive after a week unless they indicated that they are going to be away for a while or I had a really close 'relationship' with them. If you are addicted to the scale....do what I did and send it to the landfill or with a friend / relative who will keep it for you. I have not weighed myself since mid October and I will not weigh myself again until 1.3.12 which will mark 1 year. I just continue keeping my calories under and seeing how my clothing fits.

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