Lost all my friends

SenoraMacias

Hello! Well here is my story- I had to take a break from MFP for a couple months because I was getting a little carried with it and the scale was running my life. Long story short, I came back, and pretty much everyone had defriended me! Personally, I think that's rude! Is this a common thing? To lose your friends if you don't log on every single day?

april_beth

well, if you left for MONTHS then people pthink you arent taking it seriously and if you arent communicating with people or being a support or them supporting you what's the point of keeping you. that sounded rude...eeesh, i didnt mean it to sound that way tho. id expect to get deleted if i wasnt around for awhile.

but ps...glad youre back, get some new friends and kick your butt!!!

bumflapassassin

Hello billy no mates! I de-friend people for different reasons but not because they're inactive. I'll be your friend if you like

DietingMommy08

If somebody on my friends list dont log in for about a week they get deleted. Only bcuz I need to keep my friends list down to a minimum so I can keep track of who I hear from and who I give support too.

erickirb

I usually delete people after they do not log on for 3 months.

There is only a limited number of friends you can have on MFP so if someone is not logging on, what is the point in having them take up the "friend space"?

bry_all01

Sorry to hear that! I know from personal experience, unless I am notified of the absence, there is a higher likelihood I would delete. But, if I was told why beforehand, I would not have done so. So, it really just depends on each individual.

vsyates

First of all you said that you took a break for a "few months" which is a little longer than not logging on "every single day" I maintain my friend list and only keep active those that look to me like they are serious about using MFP. If I had a friend on my list who didn't log in for a few months, I would defriend them too.

Contrarian

If you don't log in for a couple of months and your friends don't know why, it isn't surprising that some of them would have deleted you. Lots of people lose motivation and stop coming to the site.

You'll make new friends. :flowerforyou:

FreshStart89

I do delete people who havent logged in a while or who dont show support. I mean whats the point of having pals if they never log in or dont give you words of encouragement, feedback, tips, etc?...

hdhbam

Yep. If you hadn't logged in for months I would have totally deleted you.

Nerdy_Rose

I delete people if they haven't logged on for over a month, and I don't have a personal relationship with them. There are people I wouldn't delete for being gone that long.

Kelly_Wilson1990

I delete people that are not active.

Becoming_A_Butterfly

I don't think it's rude for people to remove you from their Friends if you were inactive for several months. Assuming you lost interest or were not coming back is not out of line if you weren't here for months, especially if you didn't notify people you would not be here for a while.

vim_n_vigor

It depends for me. If there is someone on my friend list that I don't know well that hadn't logged in for months, then I would delete. If it is someone I interact with regularly and like, I would keep for much longer hoping they come back.

beccyleigh

Did you tell your friend list what you were planning to do or did you just disappear without a word?

Personally I defreind anyone who hasn't logged on for a while, unless I know they are taking a break or away/buy for a while.

I'm looking for support & people who are needing support & not interested in having tons of friends, I have less than 10 on my list as it isn't a popularity contest for me, I want people who are on the same path or are similar to me..

I'm sure you will get more friends soon.

writtenINthestars

I don't think it's necessarily rude...if you aren't logging on and or communicated your future absence, people may just disconnect and free up space for other friends. Personally, I delete for inactivity because to me that person isn't using the site and I keep my list short so deleting them makes it easier for me to add new people.

Then again I'm pretty cut throat when it comes to deleting people...it is, after all, MY fitness pal.

Good luck to you! Welcome back!

Iceskatefanrn

I don't find it rude at all. I delete people that show they haven't logged in for 2 months or more. Just to keep my friends list managable. No point in having "friends" that are no longer a part of your community!

I'd happily REFRIEND anyone I deleted that decided to come back!

lilyinlove

Yep, I too delete people who are not active or those who don't give any support at all!

riley711

A lot of people, myself included, will delete friends who have not logged in for 30 days in a row. Especially without explanation. If you don't tell them you're taking a break, they just think you gave up or are no longer serious about this journey. I look to my friends for encouragement, support and motivation, and I give the same in return. I'm not here to colllect lots of friends. I have a relationship with each one. So if they can disappear for months at a time with no explanation, then they may not be the best "friend" to have.

bry_all01

It depends for me. If there is someone on my friend list that I don't know well that hadn't logged in for months, then I would delete. If it is someone I interact with regularly and like, I would keep for much longer hoping they come back.

^^ THIS. I have a core group I would keep around, regardless, but would send encouraging messages. I have done that, in fact and when they were ready, they sent me a PM to let me know what was going on, so I kept them.

christy_frank

It is common. I delete friends who are inactive after a week unless they indicated that they are going to be away for a while or I had a really close 'relationship' with them. If you are addicted to the scale....do what I did and send it to the landfill or with a friend / relative who will keep it for you. I have not weighed myself since mid October and I will not weigh myself again until 1.3.12 which will mark 1 year. I just continue keeping my calories under and seeing how my clothing fits.

kater8er

It's one thing if you say "hey all! taking a break!" but quite another if you just vanish without warning. Life and MFP goes on w/o you!

dirtbikegirl5

As you know, people are on MFP to give and get support. If you are not on here for a period of time, then you are not working the site like you should.
I would not take it personally and search out some new friends.

BigDaddyBRC

Hello! Well here is my story- I had to take a break from MFP for a couple months because I was getting a little carried with it and the scale was running my life. Long story short, I came back, and pretty much everyone had defriended me! Personally, I think that's rude! Is this a common thing? To lose your friends if you don't log on every single day?

If you took a break for Months, AND did not say anything about it...I drop you like a rock in water. Additionally, if they wronte on your wall, which generates an email to you, asking where you went, and you dont respond....CYA

It's called respect. Show it, and you get it. Dont and you wont.

Welcome back. And I hope you succeed with your journey

hbrittingham

I don't have the time or energy to look at my friends' list and see whether the folks there are active or not. I sure wouldn't delete someone for not being active. I have, however, deleted friends who never, ever post a supportive word or two on my progress. I comment on theirs, but they can't comment on mine? Sorry, I don't consider that a friend.

Debbe2

Not rude, sorry. Friends are people who you interact with and depend on. Usually in person but for MFP it's online but still depends on a relationship which goes two ways.

Welcome back and good luck!

HeelsAndBoxingGloves

It depends for me. If there is someone on my friend list that I don't know well that hadn't logged in for months, then I would delete. If it is someone I interact with regularly and like, I would keep for much longer hoping they come back.

^^ THIS. I have a core group I would keep around, regardless, but would send encouraging messages. I have done that, in fact and when they were ready, they sent me a PM to let me know what was going on, so I kept them.

Both of these!! BUT welcome back to the site, and I hope you stick around this time!! I'm sure you'll make lots of new great friends this time around :happy: :flowerforyou:

kennethmgreen

I'd be willing to bet if you looked up your friends again and added them, they would be glad to see you back.

I don't know why MFP friend deletions are such a big deal. The only time it matters is when I am deleting you while sobbing and/or screaming profanities at the computer. Then it's a big deal. And I click the delete button really, really hard.

classycouture

I'm sorry to hear about you being defriended, and although it must be upsetting, at least you took care of yourself. The scale can end up running your life, and I'm just glad you noticed it was time to take a break when you did. Here's to new beginnings and a new support system!

kaitimae

I usually delete people after they do not log on for 3 months.

There is only a limited number of friends you can have on MFP so if someone is not logging on, what is the point in having them take up the "friend space"?

3 months is about my limit too. Anyone who hasn't logged on in that long I unfriend, unless they are a close real life friend or family member.

dad106

You get a month in my book.. and then it's adios.

I figure that I'm pretty active on the message boards and what not, so that if someone really wants to be my friend, then they'll find a way to find me and re-add me.