Trying to get back

healthierheather

So I have been on and off MFP for a while now. I do good for a bit and then I fall off the wagon. So this last time I was going strong or about 10 days and then tragedy hit. I suddenly and tragically lost my brother. He had only been 40 for 10 days when he passed. He left a wife and 3 boys, ages 12, 7 and 8mth. My poor mom found him and tried to resuscitate him. It seems that he suffered from the same blood clotting disorder that I have and didn't know. A blood clot formed in his heart and ruptured, he had a heart aneurysm.
If he was this fit and it happened, then what can happen to me, a woman who is overweight??
I have to say that when this fires happened, three weeks ago, I started to eat and eat. Yes, I am an emotional eater and I just started to push my feelings and emotions down with food. Well, I am done with that!! I don't want to be fat adn unhealthy anymore but I know that I am going to need help with this.
How do you stay on track when you just want to cry and stuff your face to fill the void of your brother and best friend, in the world, no longer being there??

abbie017

You honor him by taking care of yourself, so you can tell your nephews what an incredible man their father was and why he was taken too soon.

Fatbuster205

First, please add me as a friend.
Second, allow yourself to grieve.
Third, you have already taken the step towards dealing with your reaction which is incredible.
I know this because my sister was killed in a road accident 3.5 years ago, followed 9 months 10 days later by her partner in another freak accident. She had just turned 49.
Fourth, time does heal.

Debbe2

Very sorry about your loss.

Honor his memory by doing what you know you should.

Good luck with your journey

Adrian1982

I am so sorry for your loss. That is a terrible thing to have to deal with. Just try your best. You need to be healthy for you! You can do it.

goldfinger88

I'm awfully sorry about your brother. You can be forgiven (and should for forgive yourself) for getting off track. Under the circumstances, most anyone would. Unfortunately, being fit is no guarantee one will live a long time. I knew a man in his early forties who was very fit, a mountain climber. While climbing a mountain in Colorado he dies suddenly. Just no guarantees.

But by being a healthy weight and working out safely and wisely, we can have a good quality life and perhaps expand it a bit.

Perhaps the best thing for you to do is to pick up some heavy weights or bands and work out your grief and sadness and work in some strength. When I'm depressed, nothing lifts my soul and spirit like weights. But whatever you do, do something. And welcome back.

mmaxxy

So sorry for your loss. God bless.

healthierheather

Thank you one and all. I have to say that today was good until this evening. I lay down and started thinking. I didn't want to cry because my girls were near so I started eating, big surprise! (can you feel the scarcasam?!?) well off the deep end I went I probably ate 700 cal in candy! Plus I never made it back to the gym tonight. I guess tomorrow is another day.