How to say it nicely

kelley_lynn

Nicely.... is a hard one, whats nice to one, doesnt always mean nice to another.

I leave my diary open. I know i have made some huge mistakes, BUT at the same time, Im learning and if it takes me a year to change habits then so be it. I hope my friends on my list ate honest enough, to say hey...and at the same time, offer, how they would do something.

And hopefully if its a good day by all. No one feels hurt.

tameko2

I think its good to comment on something you know they are working on - like I have a friend that is trying very hard not to eat any sweets (even though I personally think sweets are fine in moderation and don't hurt your weight loss as long as you are getting enough nutritious food). So when she eats something or says she feels bad I might mention it (in an encouraging way).

or I have a friend who finds it hard to just log every day at all - even if she eats fries for lunch and pizza for dinner I tell her good job because I know her struggle is wiht logging.

if you know details like that and your comments are relevant, then go ahead.

If you don't, then don't.

Cathleenr

I look at some of my friends diaries to either a.) steal some ideas for some good food Yum. b.) to help them out if they ask me to take a look and see if anything could be changed.

I dont eat perfect.. not even close, but i try really hard. I often ask friends to check my food intake and give me feed back positive or not. Anything is better than nothing, and usually i just want someone to "double check" i'm doing it right.

So i was looking through so diaries and little things here and there i think could help them, but i dont want to throw in my 2 cents when they havent asked for it. Torn being a good MFP buddy.. or minding my own business?

( Disclaimer: almost allll of my MFP friends have the most amazing diaries that i take ideas from all the time.. they all are very serious about this journey. The above statement applies really only to 1 or 2 people)

Also, if anyone would like to take a look at my diary and help me out, friend me. I appreciate all the help and advice out there Have a great monday!!

personally i wouldn't mind if someone asked a question about what i eat. the mfp percentages don't translate into the numbers i am actually eating (their math, i guess) and i DO have a plan, so if someone had a question about it i would want them to understand why i eat what i eat and the macros.

SarabellPlus3

I don't really log and have friends because I want them to critique my eating, so I'm in the MYOB camp. I mean, 99% of us arne't just confused about what's healthy and what's not and waiting for you to clear us up, we just ate poorly anyway, right? LOL
But, I've never gone to the effort/known to make my diary private, so maybe I should go do that.

I'd say if in doubt, ask. A "hey, do you want diary critique?" never hurt anyone.

Play_outside

I totally agree with Tameko and many of the other posters. If you are not asked for feedback, then I wouldn't give it unless it is a comment like "good job on all the veggies today" or whatever. Or like yesterday or the day before I ate some chocolate raisins-300calories that was not well spent healthwise, but I do like to have a treat once in a while and I had that one treat, and said something about it in my notes on my food diary, and one of my friends commented something along the same lines, which I think is great. For me, the food diary is about being accountable to myself and so that I can review what I am eating and try to make sure I am eating enough and mostly the right things.

It would be hard to make helpful critical comments if you don't know someone's entire situation. Like someone could easily look at my food diary and see that I am often under my calorie goal even without exercising, see that I am often under protein and fat, etc etc. But, I look at that and think, WOW I did awesome today because I am close to or just over my calorie goal, or WOW what a great week, I almost met my fat and protein goals most days this week.

I think that genuine "everything okay?" questions and stuff are okay. But each person is on his or her own journey and what seems like a big defecit or overeating of something to one of us, might actually be a huge improvement to the person doing the food diary.

For sure if someone asks though, give honest feedback! And I think looking for food ideas and asking about your friends' meals/ingredients/how they do this or that is an awesome benefit of seeing your friends' food diaries.

I think its good to comment on something you know they are working on - like I have a friend that is trying very hard not to eat any sweets (even though I personally think sweets are fine in moderation and don't hurt your weight loss as long as you are getting enough nutritious food). So when she eats something or says she feels bad I might mention it (in an encouraging way).

or I have a friend who finds it hard to just log every day at all - even if she eats fries for lunch and pizza for dinner I tell her good job because I know her struggle is wiht logging.

if you know details like that and your comments are relevant, then go ahead.

If you don't, then don't.

litlpineapple

I think that it's okay to say something providing you are giving solid advice. I would wanna hear some stuff that I didn't know or haven't tried yet.

If you're friends on MFP and the dairys are open, I would assume they're open for a reason like other people have said. If you happen to know that a certain combination of food gives the taste of something much higher in cals but it's a "healthy" version - go for it, and say "hey instead of eating pie you can do...." I think that that would be helpful and nice. and the person should appreciate your tidbits of advice.

If there person is eating McDonalds and pizza and drinking soda and you want to tell them that it's bad for them, I think that should be left unsaid. They know that it isn't the best food choice and you would be overstating the obvious.

maura5880

Well, I am not sure if I'd call someone else out on their diet, but if someone asked me about something in mine, I would not be at all offended. My diary is open..if I didn't want comments/advise I would keep it closed. If anyone on here doesn't want opinions, they should close their diary...just my opinion

lynn1982

Perhaps it depends on how you say it. As others have already mentioned, if you say it sort of jokingly or in passing, it might be okay. If someone is eating fast food constantly, then they probably know it's not so great for them. Same goes for a one off fast food meal or half a pie...the person was possibly just having a bad day. However, if someone is complaining that they're going over on sodium (for example), and you see in their diary that they're eating a lot of pre-packaged meals, then perhaps that's a point when something could be said (nicely). It becomes more of an issue when someone thinks that they know better than you for whatever reason and decides to provide you with unsolicited advice such as "triple your protein intake!." (At 4'11, I'm fairly certain I don't need 240 grams of protein...)

dls06

Unless people ask for help directly, don't say anything.

cramernh

I'm in the "mind your own business" camp. Unless you are asked, of course.

Agreeing wholeheartedly!!!!

I have days where my job calls me in for double shifts (I work as a Chef) and cant often grab a meal when I need to. Or, today, where I am sick as a dog. I had to force myself to eat something for breakfast, but I am definitely not planning on eating anything for lunch unless its a homemade soup because working on a full stomach is NOT a good idea.

Nights that I work until 1am, I sleep in as long as I can - and therefore no breakfast entry will be made (common sense)... Well, someone thought they could put their two-cents in (despite the fact my profile says, DONT), and played a NASTY assumption game with me accusing me of depriving myself on purpose.... WRONG!

Sorry, I dont play that game nor will I accept anyone who thinks they can critique my food logs. Unless they have literally walked in my shoes trying to feed 1200 students every day in a private University, AND do functions, events, and get called in for double shifts... no one has the right to say anything to me, nor should I have to justify to them why I didnt eat.

rml_16

Perhaps it depends on how you say it. As others have already mentioned, if you say it sort of jokingly or in passing, it might be okay. If someone is eating fast food constantly, then they probably know it's not so great for them. Same goes for a one off fast food meal or half a pie...the person was possibly just having a bad day. However, if someone is complaining that they're going over on sodium (for example), and you see in their diary that they're eating a lot of pre-packaged meals, then perhaps that's a point when something could be said (nicely). It becomes more of an issue when someone thinks that they know better than you for whatever reason and decides to provide you with unsolicited advice such as "triple your protein intake!." (At 4'11, I'm fairly certain I don't need 240 grams of protein...)

Anyone who's actually done any real research on nutrition would know that 240 grams of protein is way more than any human body can absorb in a 24-hour period and most of it will just get filtered out of the body, anyway. :-)

And since so many people on this site think that's a reasonable and necessary amount of protein, I REALLY don't want them commenting on my diary! lol

Rachiepie6

I say something. If they don't like it then they can take me off their friends list! :] I do put it very nicely though

Agreed

rita27ny

i like if my mfp friends comment on my diary. i like constructive crictism and i can be aware of my food choices even i don't ask them to look at it. i will respect their opinion and be happy they are trying to help me out!

PetitePerfection

It's kinda an iffy thing. Personally, I'd love to hear any suggestions etc, but some people get offended pretty easily and you just never know. But, they probably know where they need to improve, so i'd just leave it be