Where is the line?

Mallory0418

Lately, it seems that if you're not full of yourself, you're naive. A lot of the time, I have to admit, when I hear people say "This person is staring at me. It's so annoying." My first thought is, "Uh, get off your high horse. They're probably not even looking at you." But I do know that, in some cases, the staring really is happening. But also, in other cases, the person really isn't being stared at, they just think they're the center of the world. Maybe it's just me, but I'm starting to get concerned about being one or the other. Where is the middle ground?

Example: Someone I have never talked to before but see everyday at the gym stopped me and asked if that was me at a restaurant the day before. I said yes and he said, "I thought so but I wasn't sure because I'm not used to seeing you with your hair down." I didn't think anything of it, but a friend of mine later told me that it was totally creepy. That's what got me wondering, am I just naive? Or is my friend a little overly sensitive/confident? Is it possible to be somewhere in the middle with a perfect outlook to the world?? Oy...:ohwell:

cmriverside

I wouldn't have thought that was creepy. I also wouldn't assume they were looking at me for any other reason than because they thought they knew me.

TheDoctor90

How on earth is that creepy?

StrengthIDidntKnow

I have no idea, but I am the type of person usually thinks if someone is staring at me there must be something wrong with me.

As for your example, I don't think it is creepy at all.

La_Amazona

I'm like you.. and I rather be "naive" than suspicious.

I give everybody the benefit of the doubt and sometimes I've gotten burned for it but I don't want to walk around thinking everybody is up to something. That requires too much energy.

liveinthemix

Yeah..I don't think that's creepy..

Indy_Mario

I've never understood female's definition of creepy...

CannibalisticVegetarian

I'm like you.. and I rather be "naive" than suspicious.

I give everybody the benefit of the doubt and sometimes I've gotten burned for it but I don't want to walk around thinking everybody is up to something. That requires too much energy.

^^^ What she said.

Pocket_Pixi

I don't think this is creepy at all.

ElizabethRoad

No, that wasn't creepy. Pretty normal actually.

alicollins74

not creepy. that has happened to me before and I didn't think anything crazy about it...

SixCatFaerie

I wouldn't have thought that was creepy. I also wouldn't assume they were looking at me for any other reason than because they thought they knew me.

Yep...

EDesq

Lately, it seems that if you're not full of yourself, you're naive. A lot of the time, I have to admit, when I hear people say "This person is staring at me. It's so annoying." My first thought is, "Uh, get off your high horse. They're probably not even looking at you." But I do know that, in some cases, the staring really is happening. But also, in other cases, the person really isn't being stared at, they just think they're the center of the world. Maybe it's just me, but I'm starting to get concerned about being one or the other. Where is the middle ground?

Example: Someone I have never talked to before but see everyday at the gym stopped me and asked if that was me at a restaurant the day before. I said yes and he said, "I thought so but I wasn't sure because I'm not used to seeing you with your hair down." I didn't think anything of it, but a friend of mine later told me that it was totally creepy. That's what got me wondering, am I just naive? Or is my friend a little overly sensitive/confident? Is it possible to be somewhere in the middle with a perfect outlook to the world?? Oy...:ohwell:

That wasn't creepy. If I see someone in school for months or years and never said anything...heck yea I would notice/know them outside of that environment. As Pres Regan said, "Trust but Verify," I say, "Be Cordial and Cautious!"

ItsCasey

I don't think your example is creepy either, and the idea that a guy can't even say what this guy said to you without someone thinking he's a creep is really disheartening to me. These days, men really can't win, no matter what they do.

As for staring, it depends on the context and the duration. Some places are prime people-watching spots (e.g. airports, malls, public transit, etc.), and you just have to accept that unless you're very, very average-looking, you're going to be stared at if you're going to hang out in those places. Also, I don't think it's creepy if a guy looks my way for a few seconds. But I recently had a guy watch me walk the entire length of a parking lot, and, frankly, it scared me.

chauncyrenayCHANGED

If someone is looking at me, I don't think about it at all. I just assume they are nosy I guess...but it has never bothered me.

I used to be SUPER naive...until I moved to LA. Now I surprise myself with how much I see others' alterior motives. I actually have a little more respect for myself now. Ignorance isn't really bliss sometimes.

But in your example, I don't think you were being naive. Your friend seems a little paranoid.

Mallory0418

I didn't either and I was really confused as to why my friend thought that. It makes me feel bad for guys out there, honestly. I hear women complain so much that they can't find a "nice guy" but how can they when a lot of guys are too afraid to be "creepy" to be a nice guy! Granted, I have had my fair share of encounters with legit CREEPERS, but really, the generalization of the male gender has got to stop. Yes, getting creeped out sucks, but don't let that deter your outlook on every other guy in the world! Common sense, and common courtesy, let's use those.

Kslice39

i dont understand how this is creepy at all. He probably, like he said, couldnt really tell if it was you or not so he didnt say hi. Ive done that when i thought it was someone i knew i went over and was like "hey...oh hi lol sry i thought you were someone else" and then i felt like a tard lol. he was probably just trying to avoid a situation like that. i think your friend is a little too sensitive lol. He was just trying to be nice and there is nothing creepy about that lol it about time a guy had the guts to walk up and say something!!! lol kudos to him!

ItsCasey

about time a guy had the guts to walk up and say something!!! lol kudos to him!

This. Most guys are so afraid of being branded a stalker these days that they won't say anything, and it's because of girls going all "OMG, that guy breathed in my general direction! He's going to kill me and feed me to the poor!"

Mallory0418

about time a guy had the guts to walk up and say something!!! lol kudos to him!

This. Most guys are so afraid of being branded a stalker these days that they won't say anything, and it's because of girls going all "OMG, that guy breathed in my general direction! He's going to kill me and feed me to the poor!"

Yes, to all of this!

cobracars

I don't think your example is creepy either, and the idea that a guy can't even say what this guy said to you without someone thinking he's a creep is really disheartening to me. These days, men really can't win, no matter what they do.

Thank you.

cobracars

The only thing creepy about your story is your friend being so dang paranoid.

Libby81

I don't think it sounds creepy at all either. Maybe it has an element of flirting and maybe that's why your friend was funny about it because he signled you out not her.

I agree that men do have a tough time now and ladies are too quick to judge a stranger

Seminolegirl97

I don't think that is creepy. I travelled for my job for 10 years and have met a 1000 people. I have a tendency to think i recognize someone from somewhere and always want to say hi or confirm, "Hey is that you". I'm acused of staring but I'm staring to remember the person. He sounds like he was just being nice.

TheLeapist

Recognizing someone at a place other than where you usually see them is being a creeper now? I don't think so.

Tell your friend she needs to chill out.

deeharley

about time a guy had the guts to walk up and say something!!! lol kudos to him!

This. Most guys are so afraid of being branded a stalker these days that they won't say anything, and it's because of girls going all "OMG, that guy breathed in my general direction! He's going to kill me and feed me to the poor!"

He's feeding the poor? He may be creepy, but at least he's a nice guy. Give him a shot. :laugh: :laugh:

MusicKeepsMeSane

I'd have thought that was a little creepy.. but i'm extremely paranoid and suspicious of others.. and i hate being looked at..

Mallory0418

I'd have thought that was a little creepy.. but i'm extremely paranoid and suspicious of others.. and i hate being looked at..

Interesting to get a new perspective. Please don't think I'm being condescending, because I promise you that is not my intention, but what makes you think that is creepy? I'm only asking because when I asked my friend why it was creepy the response I got was, "It just is." So I'm honestly just curious about how this situation looks from your point of vew.

TheRoadDog

Lately, it seems that if you're not full of yourself, you're naive. A lot of the time, I have to admit, when I hear people say "This person is staring at me. It's so annoying." My first thought is, "Uh, get off your high horse. They're probably not even looking at you." But I do know that, in some cases, the staring really is happening. But also, in other cases, the person really isn't being stared at, they just think they're the center of the world. Maybe it's just me, but I'm starting to get concerned about being one or the other. Where is the middle ground?

Example: Someone I have never talked to before but see everyday at the gym stopped me and asked if that was me at a restaurant the day before. I said yes and he said, "I thought so but I wasn't sure because I'm not used to seeing you with your hair down." I didn't think anything of it, but a friend of mine later told me that it was totally creepy. That's what got me wondering, am I just naive? Or is my friend a little overly sensitive/confident? Is it possible to be somewhere in the middle with a perfect outlook to the world?? Oy...:ohwell:

Is it creepy that I opened up your profile to look at your pics?

Mallory0418

Lately, it seems that if you're not full of yourself, you're naive. A lot of the time, I have to admit, when I hear people say "This person is staring at me. It's so annoying." My first thought is, "Uh, get off your high horse. They're probably not even looking at you." But I do know that, in some cases, the staring really is happening. But also, in other cases, the person really isn't being stared at, they just think they're the center of the world. Maybe it's just me, but I'm starting to get concerned about being one or the other. Where is the middle ground?

Example: Someone I have never talked to before but see everyday at the gym stopped me and asked if that was me at a restaurant the day before. I said yes and he said, "I thought so but I wasn't sure because I'm not used to seeing you with your hair down." I didn't think anything of it, but a friend of mine later told me that it was totally creepy. That's what got me wondering, am I just naive? Or is my friend a little overly sensitive/confident? Is it possible to be somewhere in the middle with a perfect outlook to the world?? Oy...:ohwell:

Is it creepy that I opened up your profile to look at your pics?

Now I'm not sure...let me go ask some people...

i_love_vinegar

Your friend is hella paranoid. You see the guy at the gym on a regular basis. Even if you dont chat, obviously you see each other.