Classic (and clean) Jokes :)

LadyOfOceanBreeze

Hey all, just heard a pretty funny one and thought it would make a fun topic to

start up here!

:flowerforyou: I have noticed that most of the chit chats end up locked so let's try to

keep this one going!

I challenge you all:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: !!!!!!


:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:

Question: What sound does a bird's phone make?

Answer: Wing! Wing!

jennajosephine

If you're American before you go into the bathroom and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom?

European!

chef970

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.

"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."

LadyOfOceanBreeze

Caw, caw

teeheehee

LadyOfOceanBreeze

If you're American before you go into the bathroom and American when you come out of the bathroom, what are you while you're in the bathroom?

European!

love it!

Queen_Christine

A piece of rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Hey, are you one of them Ropes?! We don't serve Ropes!"
So the rope steps outside, still in need of a drink, and decides he will disguise himself and try again. So he messes up his hair and ties himself in a knot, then goes back into the bar. Confidently, he orders a drink. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks, "You look familiar, are you one of them Ropes?" The rope shakes his head and says, " 'fraid not." (frayed knot)

katkins3

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

eleph ino (ell if I know)

LadyOfOceanBreeze

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer. A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.

"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.

"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."

lolololol!!!!

LadyOfOceanBreeze

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhinoceros?

eleph ino (ell if I know)

cute! there was a story about an elephant who adopted her very own stray dog,

on the nightly news this evening, so cute the dog would let her rub his belly using

her trunk!:blushing:

LadyOfOceanBreeze

A piece of rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says, "Hey, are you one of them Ropes?! We don't serve Ropes!"
So the rope steps outside, still in need of a drink, and decides he will disguise himself and try again. So he messes up his hair and ties himself in a knot, then goes back into the bar. Confidently, he orders a drink. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks, "You look familiar, are you one of them Ropes?" The rope shakes his head and says, " 'fraid not." (frayed knot)

:drinker:

olivetree_

Whenever someone asks me to tell a joke, there's only one I always go to:
A lion and a cheetah were in a race. The cheetah won and the lion said, "Hey! You're a cheetah!" The cheetah was insulted, and yelled back "You're lion!"

LadyOfOceanBreeze

Whenever someone asks me to tell a joke, there's only one I always go to:
A lion and a cheetah were in a race. The cheetah won and the lion said, "Hey! You're a cheetah!" The cheetah was insulted, and yelled back "You're lion!"

meow!

LadyOfOceanBreeze

Let’s get this silly topic going again!

Who couldn’t use a few giggles today?

What happens to a frog’s 🐸 🚙 when it breaks down??
It gets toad away!!

Riffraft1960

What do elephants paint their toenails red?

To Hide in Cherry Trees!

Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

Works doesn't it.

pjkidd81

Why did the scarecrow get a promotion?

...He was outstanding in his field
🥁 🥁

pjkidd81

Sad news from Australia this morning...

The inventor of the boomerang grenade died during successful testing! 🥁 🥁

pjkidd81

A rancher went out and counted his cows and found that he had 196, but after rounding them up he found he had 200... 👀

pjkidd81

What’s the difference between a wife who is 9 months pregnant and a supermodel?
Not a dang thing if her husband knows what’s good for him!!!

pjkidd81

Kermit completed a dna test last week.
Turns out he is mostly French and a tad-polish 🥁 🥁

pjkidd81

My buddy bill hasn’t spoken to his wife in 6 months.
He was raised that it’s rude to interrupt... 👀

pjkidd81

One guy was asked if his wife was outspoken? “Not by anyone I’ve ever met” he replied

pjkidd81

A woman gets on the bus with her baby. The bus driver comments, “that’s the ugliest baby I have ever seen, ugh!”
Fuming the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down. She says to the guy next to her “the driver just insulted me!” The man says, “you go right up there and tell him off - go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you!”

pjkidd81

Dang guess I’m about the only one who liked this thread. Thread started prob shouldn’t have put (clean) in the title

mabooth21

I used to be indecisive now I'm not so sure