Men, what do you really think?

Ukgold66

well here's the answer

If you once fell in love with a woman there should be no reason why you stop loving her. We all go through changes in our life some are good some are bad.

Just look at it this way. We men change all the time gaining weight, losing hair, maybe be even our teeth lol. If we were to stay the same all our lives how boring would that get?

I have watched my wifey make so many changes in her life and have loved her for every change and would not change a minute of it...through thick and thin so to speak...she is always beautiful.

your mine forever lilyinlove

your hubby

Fly_Tyn

I think attractiveness is based upon a few factors. For me it is 70% confidence or comfort in her own skin, and 20% intelligence, and only 10% physical body. It is really important that she take care of herself, not because I want a super model, but because if I love her enough to marry her then I want her to be around for a really long time. By take care of herself, I mean be active and eat right. This does not necessarily translate into a hot body. That's my two cents.

timgordon24

Fortunate for me, I have always been a large guy, so my fiancee (whom I've known for over 8 years) and I have both gained weight throughout the years, but we still show love and compassion towards one another. We both are on our weight-loss journey together, so we're both understanding of the struggles and battles each other faces.

With that being said, I've always been sexually-attracted to my now-fiancee, despite her not ever having been supermodel-skinny.. While it's cliche to say that "love conquers all" and that sex doesn't matter, it's nice to have BOTH in a relationship. We both are able to satisfy each other in the bedroom and her weight is not detrimental to my sex drive/desire for her.

Me personally, I notice the hair, the eyes, the self-confidence my fiancee shows in herself. If she is happy, then I am happy.

WillieEverlearn

So men might say, "well, if she is rude or mean I wouldn't pay her any attention," but when blindsided by a beautiful girl, their standards for rude and mean are much more pliable than with an ugly or average girl. Meh.

To some extent, sure. But physical beauty doesn't even come close to equating with sexiness, or attractiveness. I think a lot of women in general fall for that lie. I see it on here all the time: Women who say, "I want to lose XX pounds so I can be HOTT!" Truth is, if you don't know how to be hot, how to carry yourself and own who you are at your present weight, losing 20 pounds isn't going to make a bit of difference. You'll just be 20 pounds lighter and still wishing you were "HOTT!" And you’re going to feel like somehow it’s your looks that don’t measure up…when in reality, it’s your sense of self that isn’t measuring up.

I'll be brutally honest, ladies: men, in general, aren't nearly as picky about your appearance as you are. In most cases, if you show some interest in a guy, approach him confidently, make him laugh, I guarantee you’ll be way ahead of the woman with the “Victoria’s Secret” breasts.

Since we’re talking about studies and statistics, I’ll mention this (although I’m really on a rabbit trail now). I remember seeing something on G4, maybe another television channel, about the, ahem, adult entertainment industry. A guy who ran a website talked about the category that was generating the most interest/searches, and it was, for lack of a better term, “real” porn. It wasn’t guys looking for porn stars. Or body parts. Or body types. Or whatever. It was guys looking for porn that looked or seemed…real.

I'm leery of using pornography to prove a point, but I think you can see what I'm trying to say. Be real. If you’re unhappy with yourself, or unhappy because other girls are “prettier,” or unhappy because you think you don’t have the advantages of other women, you’re just building up a fake image of yourself. The real version of you is always attractive; the fake version never is.

kmcrey87

Personality goes a looooong way for me! My hubby was a bit chubby (as was I) when we first started seeing each other, but I find myself just as attracted to him now that he has a rocking body as I did when he was carrying the extra weight.

teagin2002

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mhotch

Whilst I was out in Italy with just my Dad at the end of October, we got on to a discussion about this. Now as an older man, he was telling me that he is categorically NOT attracted to younger women or those that tart themselves up to the nines... he is interested in elegance, and curves and a decent personality with good values and morals and who looks after their health.

Basically my Mum! They've been married for 25 years and he is younger by 4 years to her! My mum isn't perfect but Dad really does like it when she dresses up and makes an effort and is always encouraging her to look after her health. He also said he LOVES the lines around her eyes, like it tells a story! I didn't realise my Dad was so desperately romantic at heart and it was kind of nice to hear him talk so whimsically about Mum in this way!

He himself, keeps himself fit and is very active and healthy at 52! And I KNOW that women his age find him attractive and he almost has a little entourage!

This was a very interesting, and heartwarming response!

Determined1980

That is so sweet!!!

well here's the answer

If you once fell in love with a woman there should be no reason why you stop loving her. We all go through changes in our life some are good some are bad.

Just look at it this way. We men change all the time gaining weight, losing hair, maybe be even our teeth lol. If we were to stay the same all our lives how boring would that get?

I have watched my wifey make so many changes in her life and have loved her for every change and would not change a minute of it...through thick and thin so to speak...she is always beautiful.

your mine forever lilyinlove

your hubby

kkellam1

This is absolutely true. Except for the few men that are entirely superficial themselves and they definitely aren't the ones you want to appeal to.

It's unfortunate that women have let their self worth be dictated by these ridiculous standards. To get to the point where you won't leave the house without applying makeup is so sad to me. How did it get to the point where you feel the need to "hide" who you really are? I realize that doesn't apply to everyone but some of us would really rather see who you are, not see you hiding under a layer of paint.

And to another poster...early 50's is "older?"

stayxtrue

Okay I am going to be really honest here....

All my Past G/F's have been rather chunky... It never really was an issue for me. Still isn't!

However I am now attracted to more skinnier/fit girls. Why? Because when I was with these other girls they did not care for eating healthy or anything like that. This is how I put all of my weight on.

I would like to have a physically fit girl next time around who can keep up with me and also work with me in being healthy. Some people see this as shallow, but I still see the more chubby girls attractive, its just not what I feel like I need.

Its hard to find these kinds of girls, hence why I have probably been single for so long

Sidesteal

I deal with great looking females everyday. Even get hit on and majorly flirted with. It's nice to look at, but looks don't always mean happiness.

It's them pants Niner...

claire_xox

No one wants to spoon a skeleton.

Since losing weight I've receive a lot more attention from guys but the quality of that attention is less. I think guys alter what they find attractive based on what they're looking for at the time. A relationship or a bit of fun. Either way I'd ignore that if I were you and just be yourself/ who you want to be

teagin2002

No one wants to spoon a skeleton.

My husband agrees with this post.
Although he has never treated me differently; (when I went up to 283, when we met @ 207, or now @ 172) he has always liked thin woman on TV like Jennifer Aniston for instance. If any of you have seen my pics I am on Jenn, I have curves, curves and more curves.
We are very honest to each other, that being said I asked him one day before I lost the weight if he liked my bottom. He said hell no, but I love you!. Then after I lost the weight I asked him the same question his answer was the same, but he added I don't want you to loose any more weight because if I do he is afraid other things will go away too. Then I asked him why he married me if he doesn't like a woman with curves. He said cause he fell in love with me and saw a good future between us. He also said that the way I look doesn't matter much to him, and that he never saw me as fat.

What I took from it is, that he loves me regardless of how or what I look like. Its ok I like how I look, and he does still chase me around like a teenage so as they say.

all in all a good hubby will love you no matter the size or shape, that is commitment!

stayxtrue

No one wants to spoon a skeleton.

Since losing weight I've receive a lot more attention from guys but the quality of that attention is less. I think guys alter what they find attractive based on what they're looking for at the time. A relationship or a bit of fun. Either way I'd ignore that if I were you and just be yourself/ who you want to be

Completely agree with this... Nothing worse than a Bag of Bones to snuggle with! Thin doesn't mean skin and bone.

skb32881

Okay I am going to be really honest here....

All my Past G/F's have been rather chunky... It never really was an issue for me. Still isn't!

However I am now attracted to more skinnier/fit girls. Why? Because when I was with these other girls they did not care for eating healthy or anything like that. This is how I put all of my weight on.

I would like to have a physically fit girl next time around who can keep up with me and also work with me in being healthy. Some people see this as shallow, but I still see the more chubby girls attractive, its just not what I feel like I need.

Its hard to find these kinds of girls, hence why I have probably been single for so long

I feel the same way! It's not that I'm NOT attracted to heavier guys.... it's just that I'm trying to change my lifestyle and I want someone with the same mindset at me. Someone who wants to go hiking on the weekends instead of watch tv all day and someone who cares about nutrition (but will still eat a hamburger once in awhile!). I'm afraid that if I date someone who's not into their health I'll fall back into old habits and I don't want to go there!

mutt12345

Eyes and a killer smile.

3GKnight

Compare a thin and fit woman who is still insecure about her body against a curvy yet healthy woman who knows she's beautiful, curvy wins without a doubt.

Like a previous commenter said, sexiness is a result of many different variables. Personally, I don't have a lot of perspective on this at the moment. Even having been separated for over a year now, since I've chosen not to get into the dating world before the divorce is finalized, I don't associate with a lot of women, single or otherwise. (My vocation is very male-centric.) I know what I like to look at, but that doesn't mean I would want to have anything to do with her. At this point, I don't have a firm grasp on what I would look for in a girlfriend. It's been 12+ years since I've even thought about it.

To answer your question a little better maybe, I like a healthy woman who has just enough to grab and hold on to. Oh, and dark blonde or brunette hair helps too. And a cute face. And intelligence. a sweet voice. between 5'2" & 5'10". kind. and legs that end in heavenly bliss.

Not much but it's not what commercialization is shoving down our throats. There is such a wide range of woman that fits that description. The other thing is that you are God's finest creation. By far. No matter what you look like, a kind heart is the most gorgeous thing ever.

Guys, go ahead and post all the "firm grasp" jokes I know you're thinking.

ixiHemlock

No one wants to spoon a skeleton.

If I had a dollar for every time I felt someone lusted for fatter woman than me because she had bigger T/A,
I'd have enough to get implants. I really feel that other women perpetuate the waif thin ideal, not men; and then get defensive toward women who have the look they want.
Statements like the one above, and the infamous '"real" women have curves.' What is a real woman? And what gives you the right to define it?

There's all this hype about speaking out against fat talk and fat hate; I think it's only fair that the above to statements also be considered inappropriate and degrading to people's self image.

If I said, "No one wants to spoon with Jabba the Hut," people would be furious. But its true, isn't it?

claire_xox

I'm sorry if I offended you, and I agree there is a double standard - but instead of being MORE uptight and politically correct and making more things taboo, I feel like people should just relax a bit. Words are just words, I wasn't directing that at anyone personally and I do apologise if you took it as an attack. Seeing as this post had to do with attraction I don't really feel as though I was out of line though

Biggipooh

I'm sorry if I offended you, and I agree there is a double standard - but instead of being MORE uptight and politically correct and making more things taboo, I feel like people should just relax a bit. Words are just words, I wasn't directing that at anyone personally and I do apologise if you took it as an attack. Seeing as this post had to do with attraction I don't really feel as though I was out of line though

You were not, don't worry.

edonald774

for me, I'm attracted to a nice smile, confidence and someone who is fun to be with. I'm maybe unusual but I don't find skinny women attractive, I like women to have curves and that female shape. :0)

I guess everyone is individual though and we all have individual tastes.

xhaller

Thank you for this and agree. While statements like "real women have curves" might make heavier women feel better, it can make a smaller person feel worse. Just becuase you're smaller, doesn't mean everything is always great.

No one wants to spoon a skeleton.

If I had a dollar for every time I felt someone lusted for fatter woman than me because she had bigger T/A,
I'd have enough to get implants. I really feel that other women perpetuate the waif thin ideal, not men; and then get defensive toward women who have the look they want.
Statements like the one above, and the infamous '"real" women have curves.' What is a real woman? And what gives you the right to define it?

There's all this hype about speaking out against fat talk and fat hate; I think it's only fair that the above to statements also be considered inappropriate and degrading to people's self image.

If I said, "No one wants to spoon with Jabba the Hut," people would be furious. But its true, isn't it?

Hearts_2015

well here's the answer

If you once fell in love with a woman there should be no reason why you stop loving her. We all go through changes in our life some are good some are bad.

Just look at it this way. We men change all the time gaining weight, losing hair, maybe be even our teeth lol. If we were to stay the same all our lives how boring would that get?

I have watched my wifey make so many changes in her life and have loved her for every change and would not change a minute of it...through thick and thin so to speak...she is always beautiful.

your mine forever lilyinlove

your hubby

This is absolutely true. Except for the few men that are entirely superficial themselves and they definitely aren't the ones you want to appeal to.

It's unfortunate that women have let their self worth be dictated by these ridiculous standards. To get to the point where you won't leave the house without applying makeup is so sad to me. How did it get to the point where you feel the need to "hide" who you really are? I realize that doesn't apply to everyone but some of us would really rather see who you are, not see you hiding under a layer of paint.

And to another poster...early 50's is "older?"

I love responses like you both shared!

Ah and not having read the entire thread through yet, who on earth considers 50 as "older"? Wait until you get there, the best years of you life and ever year after. I'd never wish to be back in my 20's or 30's again, because it's so true what they say about wisdom comes with age. You make much wiser decisions after 40!:smokin: