Eek! My little sister and her outfits!! :(

songbyrdsweet

Moms, do any of you have 11 year old daughters?
How short are their skirts??
Do they take pictures with kissy faces and peace signs???

My little sister has a limited Facebook account, so only family and her school friends can see it. But I am not happy with her recent photos of her in a sassy pose with a mid-thigh skirt on. My mom is VERY liberal and gets defensive if I say anything about my little sister or sexuality in general (I am more conservative and my mom thinks I am scary about it, but I know the physiological and pathological aspects). My sister is also upset that she's single on Valentine's Day.

I remember having a crush when I was 12. I don't remember much else from when I was 11...it seems that this is sort of inappropriate, but I have no point of reference. Mostly I'm just worried because my sister lives far away and I can't be there to watch her every move like I want to. I tried to tell her that it's inappropriate to make kissy face poses like that at her age but she doesn't really comprehend why.

I'm worried she is growing up too fast!!!

songbyrdsweet

Moms, do any of you have 11 year old daughters?
How short are their skirts??
Do they take pictures with kissy faces and peace signs???

My little sister has a limited Facebook account, so only family and her school friends can see it. But I am not happy with her recent photos of her in a sassy pose with a mid-thigh skirt on. My mom is VERY liberal and gets defensive if I say anything about my little sister or sexuality in general (I am more conservative and my mom thinks I am scary about it, but I know the physiological and pathological aspects). My sister is also upset that she's single on Valentine's Day.

I remember having a crush when I was 12. I don't remember much else from when I was 11...it seems that this is sort of inappropriate, but I have no point of reference. Mostly I'm just worried because my sister lives far away and I can't be there to watch her every move like I want to. I tried to tell her that it's inappropriate to make kissy face poses like that at her age but she doesn't really comprehend why.

I'm worried she is growing up too fast!!!

MyaPapaya75

I was a Nanny for a family for many yrs and the hot topic last summer was the 11yr olds swimsuit choice.. and summer clothing. Ugh!

songbyrdsweet

I just feel like she should be more covered up...GAH fricking Mylie Cyrus crap! :explode: Females today are exposed to too much sexuality far too early. I wish she didn't have a Facebook. Can't I just cover her in a huge burlap sack and maybe a parka until she's 18?

stef_e_b

I think its ok. When I was 11 I was so boy crazy. Its when they over cover and refuse anything sexual that there is a problem. Its the age that you figure out boys are a good thing.

songbyrdsweet

I think its ok. When I was 11 I was so boy crazy. Its when they over cover and refuse anything sexual that there is a problem. Its the age that you figure out boys are a good thing.

Well I asked her what in the world she'd do with a boyfriend now, and she said, "I dunno, talk to them." She said that the boys don't talk to the girls LOL. So at least I can find comfort in the fact that the boys aren't interested. But still, she shouldn't be wearing a miniskirt. :grumble: I remember how I dressed when I was 16, and I don't want her to do that! :embarassed:

stef_e_b

My sister is 11 and she won't even wear tank tops or shorts she refuses to wear anything summery because she said she doesn't want to be a *kitten*. I think its better to be innocent and flirty than have poor self esteem.

songbyrdsweet

My sister is 11 and she won't even wear tank tops or shorts she refuses to wear anything summery because she said she doesn't want to be a *kitten*. I think its better to be innocent and flirty than have poor self esteem.

Hmm... I don't think I'd use such a strong word, but I sort of wish my sister wouldn't wear this stuff quite yet. It probably is innocent, but I'm keeping my own mistakes in the back of my mind and worrying about the ones she might make already. I wouldn't say she has low self esteem, but definite insecurities about her teeth and size (she is very very tiny in terms of height and weight). I want her to be confident but miniskirts don't say confidence to me.

stef_e_b

No, I didn't mean to say that your sister is a *kitten* i'm saying that my sister has the wrong idea about simple summer clothes. It shows her insecurites. She thinks (for some crazy reason) that any even sleaveless tops makes people think badly of her. But thats not true.

KatieEppers

I couldn't agree more. Miniskirts and 11 year olds DO NOT GO TOGETHER. You are very right to try to protect her. Good for you being a good big sister. 11 year olds being too concerned about their looks or sexuality is usually a sign of low self-esteem just as much as what the other poster was saying.

songbyrdsweet

No, I didn't mean to say that your sister is a *kitten* i'm saying that my sister has the wrong idea about simple summer clothes. It shows her insecurites. She thinks (for some crazy reason) that any even sleaveless tops makes people think badly of her. But thats not true.

Oh yea I know, but I do want to use that word about miniskirts LOL :laugh:

I just don't know how to bring it up delicately. I am not really a delicate person. And I live so far away it's hard for me to influence her sometimes. I'm not sure what sort of talks my mom has had with her...my mom really romanticized sexuality to the point that I had unrealistic and naive ideas about it. Sure, she's only 11, and it might not be a big deal now, but in another 1-2 years it definitely will be.

FitJoani

i think dressing/acting like that at any age but primarily that young SETS you up for danger. Im 25 and the girls my age that go out dress and act like sluts. Its embarrising to feamles i think and steals a kids innocense. When you get older there is a difference between sexy(showing your curves or a ll cleavage, and skanky) but when ur a kid, you need to stay that way

arewethereyet

SBS it seems your lil sis has the best of both worlds! Life is all about balancing the scales (as we learn here each day!) If mom is too lib and you are very conserv then sis will get something from each of you and then GASP make her own decision!!

I am 47..........when I was 11/12 my friends and I wanted to wear halter tops and really low levis. I mean if I had anything to shave, it would have needed a razor!!

My mom was NOT going to allow me to wear clothes like that. So I put them on, put a HUGE Led Zep tshirt over it, and went to school. Soon as I got to my locker, the shirt was there till end of day. We also had big bell bottoms and I remember being barefoot all day-hooking my toes in the overly long hems.

As an adult I have always been ultra conservative in dressing. So much so that in my early 30's a co worker asked me if I WANTED to look 60 already???:noway:

My point: She is going to test the waters. She doesnt know who she is, and really needs guidance. Maybe you could show her the pix you have on your websites. Show her sexy is NOT short skirts but internal confidence (that her big sis SO exudes!!) That taking care of her body is key and 1st impressions matter.

A sweet conversation with her older sister may be just what the doctor ordered( Dr Phil !)

:flowerforyou: Jeannie

watch48win

Moms, do any of you have 11 year old daughters?
How short are their skirts??
Do they take pictures with kissy faces and peace signs???

My little sister has a limited Facebook account, so only family and her school friends can see it. But I am not happy with her recent photos of her in a sassy pose with a mid-thigh skirt on. My mom is VERY liberal and gets defensive if I say anything about my little sister or sexuality in general (I am more conservative and my mom thinks I am scary about it, but I know the physiological and pathological aspects). My sister is also upset that she's single on Valentine's Day.

I remember having a crush when I was 12. I don't remember much else from when I was 11...it seems that this is sort of inappropriate, but I have no point of reference. Mostly I'm just worried because my sister lives far away and I can't be there to watch her every move like I want to. I tried to tell her that it's inappropriate to make kissy face poses like that at her age but she doesn't really comprehend why.

I'm worried she is growing up too fast!!!

I have an 11 year old, and I'm not even sure what the heck I would do if she was acting this way.

Question? Way in the world does an 11 year old need a facebook account? Especially one that she is allowed up load photos . BTY....I HATE when girls do those kissy faces...drives be nuts.

IMHO--mom is allowing this to happen, and is going to regret in a couple of years when she will have no control what so ever. You have reason to be concerned.

ccano

I don't remember being that way at 11. Then again, this is the myspace generation. I was already 16 or 17 by the time myspace first started gaining popularity (I'm 22 now). I mean, my little sister is 6 and my other sister, who is 19, used to take pictures with her making peace signs and puckering their lips in the mirror when she was 4. I mean, it was a cute thing at the time, but it makes me realize what kind of influences my baby sister has in her life that I didn't. Even though we had MTV and everything, it just seems that all of the crudeness on TV has gotten ten times worse since she was born. Then again, that could be my newfound overprotective perception based on being the older sister of a 6 year old, lol.

I watch her TV shows with her sometimes, and a good majority of "kid shows" have themes that are beyond their years, really. All of them feature 11-15 year olds who are already in "relationships." My sister already knows what a long distance relationship is based on some Naked Brothers Band song. And she knows what it means for a girl to steal another girl's boyfriend (and she thinks it's very, very wrong, lol).

As for your sister, I think it would be good to throw a conservative spin on her wardrobe. Instead of just a miniskirt, throw some leggings/tights underneath and you have a style that is still cute, but more appropriate for an 11 year old. I would just have a serious heart to heart with her about these things before she hits a more indignant age, like 13 or 14. Good luck. :flowerforyou:

songbyrdsweet

Great ideas from everyone!

I definitely will recommend the leggings. I think that would look very cute.

AWTY, I think I remember now wearing shortish shorts when I was 12, and wanting to wear tank tops to school and stuff. But I had more positive female influences then that kept me reigned in.

When I look at shows like Sweet 16 birthday or whatever, I am totally mortified by how those girls ask. Sometimes my little sister gets like that...she has a Nintendo DS, her own cellphone, her own computer, tons of clothes, etc. When I was her age my mom was just coming off welfare and I only wore hand-me-downs...my coolest toy was a Super NES. We come from very different environments!

Watch48, I don't know why she's allowed to have one. I guess it's because my mom is on the computer a lot, and has always been into the internet. Plus like I said, she is very liberal. We have gotten into some bad arguments when I have even delicately brought up some issues...she says I sound like child protective services. :ohwell:

She does tell me that she'll listen to me more than she'll listen to our mom. She also got a pair of fake glasses like mine, which I thought was cute hehe. So I think my opinion still counts.