Struggling Emotionally..

time2scrap

You are not alone. We all go through so many emotions, you're only human. I struggle with my weight so much I always wonder "why me." I look around and it feels like everyone esle just seems to have it together but me! I am new here as of today and I see you have lost 18 pounds......you've already inspired me! I sent you a friend request

SMarie10

I think Kimbers70 had the best statement about chosing how we react. I often forget that, and it was an excellent reminder.

Gapstander777

I struggle emotionally with my weight loss journey, too. Social networks can be demons when it comes to things like this. It can be a popularity contest. Have you considered joining WW? I, too, have tried them before and had good success! However, economic times are tough and WW can be a little expensive. It is a good program if you can afford to join. The weekly meetings really do help!
I am working on losing 40-50 lbs and I know it is a long road. I have a food addiction and I never feel like working out. I have all the notions of doing these things but when it comes to actually "doing" them, I almost always fall through. I got on here about 9 mo's ago and tried doing this for a couple of weeks. It didn't last long. When I got on here a few days ago, I realized that I was over 10 lbs heavier now than I was back then! Talk about a wake-up call! Ugh! So I have put myself on a 5 day challenge...we will tomorrow what those results are. I know it is one step at a time.
If you are in need of a friend, I would be happy to cheer you on and we can keep each other motivated! Don't give up!
Your MFP friend,
Melissa

Cathleenr

I've replied to a couple of posts but this is the first thread I've ever started and I'm finding myself in kind of a vulnerable place today.

Here the thing: A Facebook friend of mine - someone I went to school with and have always looked up to and, I realize now, kind of measured myself against - recently started back on WW and is having wonderful success. She's actually lost more weight than I have, in a shorter period of time. However, she started off at a significantly higher weight than I did and I know on the Biggest Loser, those with the most to lose tend to lose the most at first, while those with proportionally less to lose don't have as dramatic weigh-ins.

Anyway.

I know I should be supporting her and celebrating her successes and really happy for her - and I AM, I swear. But I'm jealous, too. We weigh in on the same day, her through WW, me on my own with MFP, and today was weigh-in day. Her post of FB got 51 likes and about 15 supportive, congratulatory comments. My dad "liked" my post and congratulated me. That's it. Just my dad. That should be enough but it's not. I'm jealous. It's petty and immature and it shouldn't matter. I KNOW that. It shouldn't matter. I'm 38-fricking-years-old. We're not in high school and it shouldn't matter. All that should matter is that I'M proud of myself and know I'm working hard and doing well. My rational mind knows this. But the far less rational rest of me is pouting.

I've actually found the MFP community a little intimidating as a lurker. There are so many threads that say "closed group". The lame, childish part of me that is somehow stuck at 17 sees those posts and thinks "Well, there's another group I can't be part of. A clique that won't include me. People that already have all the friends they need." I suppose that's why I'm putting myself out here today. I'm not fishing for compliments, I'm looking for friends to take this journey with. Like, I'll celebrate your victories and you celebrate mine. And when I'm being a whiny brat, like now .. you .. um.. help me give my head a shake?

everyone has their demons, even the prettiest, slimmest, most popular and happy people.
i learned this when i was a supervisor and i was envious of a peer who was THE most popular supervisor. everyone wanted to be on her team. they came to her house for dinner and gave her glowing feedback. but one day she admitted that she wished she were me, cause she could not confront people. she just gave people their way and felt very ineffective and envied my ability to stand my ground.
or the other supe who everyone came to with their problems. one day she told me she wished she were more like me cause i could think under pressure, write a disciplinary action like hemmingway and no one would argue with my facts or logic.
i learned a lot when i heard how other people wanted to be more like me.....things i couldn't see myself and that don't come up in everyday conversation.
i know i work hard for my body. people don't know my cravings, when i want to cry cause one more squat IS really gonna kill me or when i just want to lay in bed....but i get up and go run anyway. they see me breeze into work, happy, satisfied and done with one more routine.

when i look at people and think about how we measure against each other, i think of what i know about my life and what i know i have, and what i dont know about them.
as roseann roseannadanna used to say....its always something.

jenready

Stick with it. There are so many great people on MFP who would love to support and encourage you. I think we have all had a time when we have felt like you are feeling, I know I have. I commend you on putting your feelings out there. It's hard. I sent you a friend request. I love to support and encourage whoever I can.

fkeenan

Hi hhorncastle,
I too have experienced feelings of jealousy, I'm sure anyone who isn't happy with themselves does, including people we look at and think "if I could only look/be like them" (even beautiful, skinny people are insecure and wish they could look/be like someone else!). It's only when we're happy with ourselves, inside and out, that we can truly be happy with others' achievements without comparing ourselves to them.
I hope that you're feeling a bit more 'up' now, and it's awesome that you did put yourself out there and were honest with how you were feeling - that's brave! What's more, every time you're feeling like this again, come back and reread what people have said, it may pull you up again.
I've just joined MFP today and I'm now really excited about my weight loss journey. I have read all the posts in this topic and I am BLOWN AWAY by the amount of support and encouragement from everyone. I would love to be your friend and go through this journey together.
Friend added!

hrharris70

I read your post and until then had always been a lurker too. Too afraid to put myself out there for people not to like or support. But what you said I related to so closely that I HAD to reply. I have a relative I used to be close to and now no longer speak to. She apparently has lost quite a bit of weight and looks " fantastic". I heard about this from my monster-in-law who is friends with her. The last time I went to visit she offered me something to eat and I declined telling her I was trying to eat healthy. She said, "Oh, again?" Then laughed. My mother-in-law is probably about 375lbs. That's a big pot calling the kettle black! I don't think my mother-in-law is mean intentionally,she has always been that way to everyone.And yes, I was jealous of my relative's success. I think that is normal and not really something you can control. But rather than discouraging me it actually pissed me off. I have this mindset now like, " Just you wait and see." I started this journey on Sept 20th and I have lost 16 lbs so it seems you lose a bit faster than me. I also would love to have someone to do this with. So from one Heather to another I am sending you a friend request.

Labcoathipster

I am proud of you! Congratulations, Keep up the Great Work.

Me too! It is a huge step to take and while we all have our bad days, I am sure that it will get easier : ). /hugs

Add me to the list! You're doing great. There are so many out there that are just settling. You are NOT one of those people. Sending a friend request to you!

kristinathenina

We all love you, are are SO proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jackiebo

So, figure your losses out by the %-age of pounds lost. For example, if she would start out at 200 lbs, and you started out at 100, if you'd both lose 10 lbs. the first week, she would've lost 5%, and you would've lost 10%. It's a lot more realistic. Hope this helps..

Aria_Fat_Pants

Maybe your high school friends has more "friends" ON FACEBOOK than you... But you have more friends on here! Don't give up, and one day you'll be better than her.

Sending friend request now...

Aviendha_RJ

Oh, screw people. Your weight loss is your own, I say don't compare yourself to other people. It's highly possible your friend whose weight is peeling off so fast will just gain it back again because she's going to stop her WW eventually. What you're doing here is more sustainable, & probably going to last longer.

As for FB? Screw FB too. :grumble: People on FB are so fake, & do it to "keep in touch" but no one really cares, or reads half of what's on there anyway. :ohwell:

She's got her weight loss journey on there to fish for compliments. She needs it for motivation. You don't... you're still here. You have us. Forget FB. Stay here! We like you more! :flowerforyou: