Interesting reason to be dropped as a MFP friend

hbrittingham

So, I tend to keep my friends' list short, but I will generally accept any friend request. If they turn out to be a good fit, they stay on my friends list, if not, eventually I remove them. I have a great group of friends right now.

I had someone friend request me two days ago and I accepted. The first day she was only at 762 net calories at the end of the day and I said something along the lines that she might want to eat more because cutting calories too drastically can make it harder to continue over the long term. Yesterday her net was just over 1000 calories and I said something about making sure she ate enough.

This morning she had removed me from her friends list. No big deal, but if you don't want honesty, please don't friend request me. I am not a rude person and when I do have something critical to say, I generally add a positive comment to soften it. If you only want friends who tell you how wonderful you are for starving yourself, don't friend request me. I want to build real online relationships with my MFP friends.

amberwebb79

I see people who net significantly under 1000 calories every day, and its too bad people think they have to do that. Some days I feel like I'm the only one not starving myself to lose weight. I have an occasional low day, but I try not to.

vzucco

Sounds like that person needs to keep their diary private if they don't want comments

rml_16

I don't comment on anyone's diary unless specifically asked. Clearly, she wasn't looking for feedback.

sunnybrunette126

Well you can add me if you want because I generally keep my list short also. I like to motivate just the ones I can handle. But I like motivation and encouragement along the way myself. So I drop those who don't return it.

rml_16

And, FYI, if I net under 1,000 calories a day (I often do) it's not because I'm trying to starve myself. It's because I ate and exercised and wasn't hungry anymore. I'm not going to force myself to eat just because someone tells me I should.

❤B☩❤

That IS too bad, because a friend SHOULD tell you how to make things better for yourself. I agree that their diary should be kept private, because she is going to continue to receive this kind of feedback, especially from the friends that really do care!

jenniferg83

i'm the type to do the same thing. thats what we are all here for. support and suggestions. if they dont want friends to guide them along the way, this site isnt' good for them lol sending a friend request your way

PeaceLuvVeggies

I don't always eat 1,200 cals, but it's because 100% of the time, I'm not hungry enough to eat any more. And right now I'm watching my sodium intake. I hadn't realized that my sodium intake was way above my goal, and from what I heard eating a lot of it will stall your weight loss.

mbmorse1011

I agree, if you don't want people to comment on what you eat keep it private. I love the comments/suggestions people give on my diary. Helps me plan better and get good ideas for more healthy foods.

dez_yaoichan

and maybe that goal is something her dr set for her. she could be having trouble staying that low and your comments were not helping her motivation

((at least that was the reason my last friend dropped me lol))

CoachMelissaDi

I don't comment on anyone's diary unless specifically asked. Clearly, she wasn't looking for feedback.

I agree. I never comment unless they tell me they want me to keep them in line

CaityB14

I was friends with a girl trying to gain weight and her regular calories were constantly under 1200 with exercise. It was hard seeing everyday that ***** completed their food diary and were under their calorie goal

fionarama

I don't comment on anyone's diary unless specifically asked. Clearly, she wasn't looking for feedback.

I agree, we are not friends to criticise. I eat way under my calorie goal, sometimes my net is less than 100 if I take into account all the exercise I do. I just don't lose body fat any other way. she may be the same. Eating your exercise calories etc just doesn't work for some of us.

Kassielin13

I have been cursed out by a friend of a friend on MFP for making sure they weren't starving! So I have definitely learned my lesson, I only comment on good progress. If they are under, way under, I don't generally take the time to comment. I don't want anyone to use "starvation" in a positive way, so I keep my positive/negative comments about it to myself. Lol However, if my friends ask for help or as another put it, to keep them in line, I will be completely honest!

InfiniteEcho

Things may not always be as they seem. She may not be starving herself and there could be other issues involved with her or it may be possible her diary is incomplete. I offer this option because I am there and not starving myself. I've been working like a demon (12+ hr days and weekends) and I am totally STRESSED. When I am stressed I am sick to my stomach and I am not a stressful eater. I am the opposite...I get sick and cannot eat. With that said, just looking at my diary is not indicative of the entire picture. There could be other factors involved, ie., medical issues or other. Don't take the 'de-friending' as a negative based on your comments it could be something entirely different.

hbrittingham

I keep my diary private because I am only accountable to myself. If she didn't want comments on her diary, she really should have kept it private. I don't criticize people or what they eat, but I will comment when someone needs to eat more. She was new to MFP and I really wanted to see her succeed, just as I do for all the people on my friends list. I see too many people fail because they starve themselves and can't keep up with it long term. But I am looking at this as a lifestyle, not a diet.

rml_16

I agree, if you don't want people to comment on what you eat keep it private. I love the comments/suggestions people give on my diary. Helps me plan better and get good ideas for more healthy foods.

I keep my diary open so I can easily point someone to it if they ask for suggestions on something I can help with. It's easier than typing things out, copying and pasting or constantly opening and closing it.

I don't keep it open expecting that anyone is going to criticize it without my specific request to do so. And, so far, as long as I've been on this site (and I have a pretty extensive friends list) no one has done so. Thank goodness.

lynn1982

Did you look at what this person ate the day before? I know I will sometimes eat over my calories for a day or two and then under for a couple of days. Perhaps that was all this person was doing and it was probably just easier for her to delete you rather than spending the energy on justifying it to you, as someone whom she does not even know. Just my two cents...

rml_16

I don't always eat 1,200 cals, but it's because 100% of the time, I'm not hungry enough to eat any more. And right now I'm watching my sodium intake. I hadn't realized that my sodium intake was way above my goal, and from what I heard eating a lot of it will stall your weight loss.

Excessive sodium can cause water retention, but will not prevent you from losing fat or pounds.

philOHIO

there ARE anorexic and bullemics on this site... I was friends with one of them and dropped them for the same reason.