ED

sdguy2002

Hello. I have some questions. My past two GFs, now that i look back on it, have had eating disorders or isuues with body Image. The first one didnt really eat much because she drank all the time in place of those calories. My last one was bulemic. I always loved food and didnt really car because i have a pretty fast metabolism when i get sad i work out or eat. Just went to a eda group the other day with my ex to see if I could offer support. It did not go as well as projected but here is my question. I hang out with my ex still and we work out or run together sometimes. I know she still continues her ed ways and I have trouble deciding whether to not eat at all or just split with her what I eat which means I usually cant stop where I want in fear that shell just eat it to throw it. Up what can I do other than seperating myself from her?

CJK1959

It's admirable that you want to help your ex. Eating disorders are so destructive, but it's not as simple as "stop that". Your ex needs professional help to recover and the best thing you can do for her is to encourage her to seek it. I wish you all the best and hope that you are able to help her get the help she needs.

WIN110

Why don't you try talking about your concerns with her? You guys are obviously able to talk about her issues, so I think it would be best to talk about it with her, and she can see how concerned you are about what she is doing.

seehawkmomma

Sounds like its unhealthy regardless. I would put to her like this "Its really hard for me to see you do this to yourself. I want to help but I dont know how" and take it from there. You have to realize that an eatting disorder is almost like a drug its hard for them to admit they have a problem. Be supportive. Let her know your willing to listen to her talk. I know some women on here struggle with those issues maybe refer her to this site. But she needs help. Its not healthy and she could hurt herself.

bry_all01

Sadly, splitting it with her is not going to stop this habit. The only thing I can offer to you is to do some tough love here. If that means amping up how you help her, maybe by doing an intervention with her other friends and family, so be it. If it means you need to step back, so be that, too. She will remain the same until she is ready to see why she is doing what she is doing and is ready to correct that issue. I'm sorry for your friend. It seems you have tried, but there is only so much another person can do. Prayers for her!

seehawkmomma

It's admirable that you want to help your ex. Eating disorders are so destructive, but it's not as simple as "stop that". Your ex needs professional help to recover and the best thing you can do for her is to encourage her to seek it. I wish you all the best and hope that you are able to help her get the help she needs.

agreed

Shanna_Inc86

It's admirable that you want to help your ex. Eating disorders are so destructive, but it's not as simple as "stop that". Your ex needs professional help to recover and the best thing you can do for her is to encourage her to seek it. I wish you all the best and hope that you are able to help her get the help she needs.

This!

After a while though, if someone isn't willing to help themselves, you almost have to walk away. You can't help someone who doesn't want help

kmbrooks15

If I were you, I would speak to the leader of the support group to find out the best ways to interact with her without causing harm. Advice you get from any of us would be speculation, so I would speak to a professional who could tell you the best ways to support and interact with someone with an eating disorder.

Good luck, and kudos to you for wanting to support her in the right way!

sdguy2002

the issue is at groups all they do is share experiences. only positive and you cant talk specifically about your "behaviors" and for so many people there are so many different triggers which makes it hard to be completly open and share. She knows its an issue but feels defeated and has been dealing with this for about 8 years. She has this idea in her head thats she not a woman because of her cup size and with all the compliments and reassuance in the world it just gets turned back around. Destructive habits to sabotage herself almost with what she wants. Thanks for all the input.

sdguy2002

the issue is at groups all they do is share experiences. only positive and you cant talk specifically about your "behaviors" and for so many people there are so many different triggers which makes it hard to be completly open and share. She knows its an issue but feels defeated and has been dealing with this for about 8 years. She has this idea in her head thats she not a woman because of her cup size and with all the compliments and reassuance in the world it just gets turned back around. Destructive habits to sabotage herself almost with what she wants. Thanks for all the input.

seehawkmomma

the issue is at groups all they do is share experiences. only positive and you cant talk specifically about your "behaviors" and for so many people there are so many different triggers which makes it hard to be completly open and share. She knows its an issue but feels defeated and has been dealing with this for about 8 years. She has this idea in her head thats she not a woman because of her cup size and with all the compliments and reassuance in the world it just gets turned back around. Destructive habits to sabotage herself almost with what she wants. Thanks for all the input.

Thats why you have to go back to it as its not about her....make it about you "I'M worried" tell her about YOUR concerns. You really just have to let her know how YOU feel. And see if she isnt willing to talk to you about. She isnt going to change unless she wants to and you have to know your boundries on whether or not your willing watch someone you care about hurt themselves.