Does your spouse crack you up?
I was pregnant (very pregnant) and I was stuck with one leg on the bed. I got a fit of the giggles and my husband asked me what was wrong. I managed to spit out that I was stuck and couldn't get up. So he asked me, "You want me to push you over."
Another time I was looking at a video that was supposed to be an angel flying around some cars. It was a white light of some sorts (not an angel). Not really sure what this is. I showed my husband and asked him what he thought. He says, "What, is it locked outside of it's car, doesn't have onstar?
On another subject my daughter sees some cows in a pasture and goes:"MMMM Dinner. OY Geesh, I'M JUST LIKE MY FATHER!"
So apparently it's genetic.
So any more funny stories?
Another time I was looking at a video that was supposed to be an angel flying around some cars. It was a white light of some sorts (not an angel). Not really sure what this is. I showed my husband and asked him what he thought. He says, "What, is it locked outside of it's car, doesn't have onstar?
On another subject my daughter sees some cows in a pasture and goes:"MMMM Dinner. OY Geesh, I'M JUST LIKE MY FATHER!"
So apparently it's genetic.
So any more funny stories?
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Sometimes my spouse cracks me up, but not today. Today he is a grouch!0
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When my boyfriend and I had just started dating, we took a weekend trip and I ended up getting some really bad food poisoning. I was feeling guilty for ruining the trip and just overall feeling like crap. He was doing anything he could to make me smile and started doing this ridiculous chicken impression around the hotel room that had me laughing so hard. To this day (6 years later) anytime I'm in a bad mood he starts clucking like a chicken lol0
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Awakened one night by a ruckus. My dear one was outside the bedroom door in the hallway in his 'skivies' with a fire place shovel and work gloves. Imagine the shock. He was chasing a bat the cat brought in the house - he managed to 'bean' it with the shovel and get it back outside where it regained its senses and flew off. What a hoot, it is still a family favorite story.0
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I woke up early and gave him a kiss and he grabbed my arm and goes OOGA BOOGA. Apparently he was dreaming of running through a mall and these sesame street type monster characters were hiding in the toys and around the store scaring people saying, "OOGA BOOGA" I couldn't stop laughing.!
He also snored so loud one time he woke himself up.0 -
We were having a sarcastic snarky discussion about how he could ALSO help do homework with our kids once in a while. (Ok, I was sarcastic and snarky.) I said "If I die, be sure you check the bag." He asked "The body bag?" It was too good not to laugh.0
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My fiance has the best dimples on a guy that I have ever seen. He does not have a normally "dirty" sense of humor (unlike me haha) . One day we were talking about how lucky I was to have him, and that my friends agreed.....He suddenly said: " Yeah, its becaues I have a HUGE..........................(pause) DIMPLE!" hahahahaha0
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About 6 months after getting married and living together, me and my husband were in our bedroom, he was on the computer and i was layin in bed watching tv when all of a sudden the blinds fell down. My husband is scared as hell, jumps out of his chair, over the bed and hides in the corner........LOL...That was 5 yrs ago. I will NEVER let him live that one down.0
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My husband is really clumsy and often hurts me e.g. steps on my feet, leans on my hair, hits me in the eye with his glasses.
One day -
Me: You hurt me all the time!
Him: Yeah, but only physically!
:laugh:0 -
When I've gone on late night snacking trips to the kitchen and left a mess my husband gave me (he kindly would refer to it in 3rd person) a name. I see we've been visited by the Midnight Snacker" Then he gave me a theme song, Lone ranger.0
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When my husband just falls asleep (in between awake and lala land), he talks nonsense in his sleep. I crack up every time, and I even started writing them down (which he didn't think was so funny).
A few examples:
Where's the gingerbread man?
Alligators, no crocodiles, no they were alligators. They're driving a car looking for a job.
Uh Oh. Cops!
I saw a dog wearing pants.
These are actual things my husband has said while he's sleeping. :-D0 -
I typically take on the task to prepare and pack for when my hubby is going away on a trip. I do the usual, pack, and double check to make sure he has all he needs, because quite frankly, he wouldn't bother with half that stuff. If he had HIS way, it would be a pair of underwear, a toothbrush and a clean T-shirt stuffed into a bag.
One particular trip, he was going to go a road trip on his motorcycle, and I thought it would be a good idea to reapply some weatherproofing cream onto his saddle bags. Helps to waterproof leather. I was busy, so I told him that was something HE could do. He sat on the floor in front of the TV with the bags and a large jar of vaseline type stuff and started without a hesitation.
After about a half hour, he calls me into the room, and this was the following conversation ~
HIM: "How long does this ususally take?"
ME: "I don't know, maybe 10 minutes", "Why?"
HIM: "I've been rubbing this stuff on these bags for half an hour, and look how much is left!" (the jar was still quite full, barely an ounce gone)
ME: "You don't use the whole jar, you moron .. It's for more than one application!"
HIM: "Ohhh!"
We both cracked up .. I laughed so hard, I almost peed myself.0 -
OH MY BAD. TOO FUNNY!:sad: :laugh: :happy: :laugh: :sad: :laugh:When my husband just falls asleep (in between awake and lala land), he talks nonsense in his sleep. I crack up every time, and I even started writing them down (which he didn't think was so funny).
A few examples:
Where's the gingerbread man?
Alligators, no crocodiles, no they were alligators. They're driving a car looking for a job.
Uh Oh. Cops!
I saw a dog wearing pants.
These are actual things my husband has said while he's sleeping. :-D
Actual tears in my eyes laughing!0 -
When I've gone on late night snacking trips to the kitchen and left a mess my husband gave me (he kindly would refer to it in 3rd person) a name. I see we've been visited by the Midnight Snacker" Then he gave me a theme song, Lone ranger.
Oh My Goodness! When I was growing up, we had the "3 am Guy" that would raid the fridge (aka my dad).0 -
When my husband roomed with his best friend and best friends wife, she stated she wanted chocolate. He went to the kitchen and came out proclaiming, "There's chocolate in there!"
He had smeared hershey's syrup all over his mouth!
He and his best friend were in the living room wrestling over the use of a toddlers Fisher Price Cassette Tape Player/Recorder and the wife walked in. They stopped mid punches and looked at her. She shook her head and walked away. And the fight continued....0 -
My hubby...OMG! Our best inside jokes come from staying up too late or long car rides. Like just recently, we were on a road trip and some old school country came on.
the phrase "Hold her up tight, make a little lovin"
He proceeds to act like he's holding up someone (me) by the collar and does the fast humpy movement. We died laughing!!!0 -
Every once in a while I'll catch my husband rhyming some mad wrap tunes. (He's such a closet wrapper and I don't mean Christmas) It makes me laugh every time as he's never been one to talk about wrap or even have a single CD or cassette. :laugh:0
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My guy has a very high entertainment value! :laugh: He is always cracking me up. One night I was just falling asleep upstairs, he was still downstairs watching a movie. I hear this yelling and kind of screaming noises, a dozen or so loud thumps and then I hear a can spraying... I come downstairs and said WTF is going on?? The house reeked of bug spray, the 2 rugs from the bathroom are scattered in the livingroom...and my guy is standing there, pants around his ankles, with a rolled up magazine in his hand, eyes huge, and mumbling under his breath "GD MF's DIE! SOB's in my F'ing house ...no F'ing way...GD SOB's..." Evidently while sitting on the throne he saw a big wolf spider on the floor in the corner. He rolled up the magazine and poked it (couldn't swat at it cuz it was in the corner). It was a she...and her hundreds of babies went crawling everywhere! He freaked out! He totally lost it when they came out the end of the magazine he was holding and were crawling on his hand. While attempting to swat them he hit his head on the sink (no damage done) and tripped on his pants that were at his ankles. Well that little trip ended up with a few of the live babies crawling on his thigh and groin area... that was the screaming noises. He got the rugs out of the room, got the can of bug spray and emptied the brand new can into the 4x6 room. He got the gallon of bleach that was half empty and dumped it on the floor. He shut the door, and that was when I found him....0
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My guy has a very high entertainment value! :laugh: He is always cracking me up. One night I was just falling asleep upstairs, he was still downstairs watching a movie. I hear this yelling and kind of screaming noises, a dozen or so loud thumps and then I hear a can spraying... I come downstairs and said WTF is going on?? The house reeked of bug spray, the 2 rugs from the bathroom are scattered in the livingroom...and my guy is standing there, pants around his ankles, with a rolled up magazine in his hand, eyes huge, and mumbling under his breath "GD MF's DIE! SOB's in my F'ing house ...no F'ing way...GD SOB's..." Evidently while sitting on the throne he saw a big wolf spider on the floor in the corner. He rolled up the magazine and poked it (couldn't swat at it cuz it was in the corner). It was a she...and her hundreds of babies went crawling everywhere! He freaked out! He totally lost it when they came out the end of the magazine he was holding and were crawling on his hand. While attempting to swat them he hit his head on the sink (no damage done) and tripped on his pants that were at his ankles. Well that little trip ended up with a few of the live babies crawling on his thigh and groin area... that was the screaming noises. He got the rugs out of the room, got the can of bug spray and emptied the brand new can into the 4x6 room. He got the gallon of bleach that was half empty and dumped it on the floor. He shut the door, and that was when I found him....
Uh.....that is absolutely terrifying....
I had a spider nightmare last night....hope this scene stays out of my head !0 -
omfg best story yet ^^^^^!!!!!!!!!!!0
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speaking of bugs....my fiance was standing out side holding the screen door open as I was standing in the living room holding the inside door open. all of a sudden he yells out: "holy s***!!" and he jumps...as i was about to ask him what happened I was hit in the throat with "something" it hurt so bad I yelped! My fiance rushes into the house and is yelling "where the f*** are you you little *kitten*!!" I was SO confused. He went into our office area and shut the door. all i could hear was yelling and cursing and loud bangs. About 10 minutes later he came out looking like a knight. He had a rolled up magazine in one hand, and an old flat box in the other (his sword and shield as I called them) He was triumphant! When I asked him what happen he said that it was a cicada that came into the house, hit us both and he finally got him after a "gallant fight" (his words lol) oh, and he was saying all this in an english accent lol. He said that he used the box as a shield because the bug kept dive bombing him and he finally hit him like a baseball with his sword (magazine). He was very proud of himself lol.0
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He also snored so loud one time he woke himself up.
Off subject a little but when I was pregnant my husband had to be away for work for a month, and I took a nap, and woke up because I heard someone MOANING (like serious moaning if you catch my drift) I got up looked around the house, made sure no one else was there, then went back to sleep, only to hear it again, then I realized it was me =( lol.
Yeah my husband cracks me up, but for the life of me right now I can't even think of one time!0 -
When my husband just falls asleep (in between awake and lala land), he talks nonsense in his sleep. I crack up every time, and I even started writing them down (which he didn't think was so funny).
A few examples:
Where's the gingerbread man?
Alligators, no crocodiles, no they were alligators. They're driving a car looking for a job.
Uh Oh. Cops!
I saw a dog wearing pants.
These are actual things my husband has said while he's sleeping. :-D
Ha ! That's hysterical. I am usually the one that wakes up in the middle of the night yelling hippopotamus!0 -
When I was very prego with my first I was washing dishes and wanted to get them done so I did the potty dance right at the end and my husband came home early announcing "Hey, hows it going" Need I say more. Oh my gosh I was so exasperated. And he of course laughs. He even cracks himself up.:huh:0
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