Please help me...

Lizchan

I'll just post from my other forum post... so you can see how severe this is.

I'm going to sound like a lunatic... but I could benefit from that. It's better than working out for a while every day, starving myself to the point of passing out and being in severe pain... then looking in the mirror, crying your eyes out. Weighing myself every HOUR because I am working very hard and the weight is still NOT coming off. I see anything with sugar in it, I feel scared to death. I look at the back of packaging to make sure there's no sugar and that it is under 300 calories before I eat it as a main meal for the day. If it is, I won't touch it. I hate myself SO MUCH for becoming so freakin' fat. I have been on diet after diet and now this is what I've come to. The last thing is diet pills. If they don't work, I don't know what I'll do. Even if I lost the weight temporarily, like let's say 30 to 40 pounds, I'd be perfectly happy with that because during that time, I wouldn't be harming myself as much as I do now. I sit and cry for hours when I could be doing other things. I can't even handle a job right now. So I spend my days working out, worrying to death over what I will eat so that I don't even go close to something that is bad, weighing myself, going online to see if others are having my problem... or if others are having any weight loss success with anything they're doing. I want fat and water weight loss. Not muscle loss. I am expecting to lose some, yes, but that master cleanse diet did nothing 'cept eating my muscles away!

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/401569-phentermine-37-5-how-much-have-you-lost-using-this-diet-p Is the other post for those who are curious. If the Phentermine 37.5mg does not work, I am SCREWED.

I feel like dying. I do... I hurt very bad emotionally and physically. All because I have been trying to lose weight for so long and getting no results. It's driving me crazy, literally. The next thing I'd do after the pills is to completely starve myself.

gp79

Sounds like you just need to educate yourself on 1) your body and it's needs 2) nutrition 3) the mindset that you didn't get fat overnight, and you're not going to get healthy overnight.

Persistence, willpower, and dedication.

Set up your MFP honestly and do what it says.

bjfmade

I hope you give this site a chance, it does work. You do need to eat to lose weight. Starving yourself will not work. I do believe you need to seek out a doctors advice or a diet expert. You may have issues that are not diet related that could be hindering your success. Good luck to you.

mandyc1108

I would seriously suggest going to see a doctor. What you are doing to yourself is physically and emotionally unhealthy. I can understand what your trying to do, but honestly that is not a good way to go about it.

Lleldiranne

Yikes! First of all, I'm sending you big hugs, because you need it.

Second, please get help! This is more than just a weight issue. It may have started out as such, or it may just be manifesting through your weight problems, but from what you describe, it sounds like you are dealing with some serious depression.
Now, let me tell you, from one who has been there, that there is NOTHING shameful about depression or seeking help for it. But the symptoms you describe (hating yourself, wanting to die, worrying so much about what you can eat) suggest that you really are at a tipping point.
Please, make an appointment with your doctor right away. If you have and haven't gotten help, go to someone else. This isn't a "get a prescription for antidepressants and move on" thing. Get a referral to a counselor (LCSW or such) - someone you can talk to and work through your issues, both over your weight and your total self-image. And chances are that, in the process, you will be able to find some healthy ways to manage your weight and feel better about your body.

wjranch

You dont sound like a lunatic....but, you do sound like alot of other people out there who are bombarded with conflicting or simply misleading information.
You MUST feed your body! If you are 'starving' yourself and working out to extremes then all you really succeeded in doing is reset you metabolism to not only HOLD the wieght it has, but, to store every single ounce it can! You are in a reverse state of metabolism (IMO)
I can't see your food or exercise diary so it's difficult to say with any certainty what is happening. But, just from what you've written here I worry for you.

CaptainGordo

Browse through the topics in this link for some insights: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/forums/show/474-unofficial-mfp-faq

wendix

you need to go to a doctor and say all this to them. seriously. you're obviously at a high risk for developing an eating disorder and I say this from experience. You're going to get a lot of negative comments on this post but having had an eating disorder, I know what I'm talking about and I know the warning signs and the feelings and the fixation on weight. Losing weight is not a solution, it just becomes an addiction. no matter what you weigh.

brookepenni

Wow. First of all - while the support here on MFP is great, I think you should actually go and see someone and actually talk to them about these feelings. Your doctor should be the first person. If you are this bad, you might find you need some medication to take the egde off. Dont worry, you wont be the first to ask for help.

I dont want to comment on what you are doing, could be doing or should be doing diet and exercise wise. But I think you should see a doctor before you even consider doing anything else.

Good luck. I hope you feel better soon.

dmpizza

You need to work in sustainable solutions. Things like cleansing can't be maintained.
The only sustainable solution is to watch what you eat and exercise regularly.
If your picture is accurate, you don't look that heavy and you will feel much better about yourself in no time.

Good Luck.

Lizchan

I almost did get fat overnight, actually.
I was taking Depo Provera birth control. I went from 140 to 200 in two months.
I got off of that awful thing and the weight gain stopped.
I didn't care for a long time because the gaining stopped.
But then when I was trying to lose weight after being off of the shot for a few months, NOTHING.
I have now been off of it for over a year.

cheshirechic

First, you need to know that you're not alone in your struggles. There are MANY people on here (including myself) who have tried less-than-healthy ways to weight loss, and have felt the same sadness and hopelessness.

Second, have you thought about seeking out a therapist? While you'll get some support here, sometimes professional support (in additional to personal) can be extremely helpful and enlightening. And there's absolutely no shame in looking for professional help. The feelings that we tie to our bodies can be REALLY hard to sort out, and sometimes an outsider can help the most.

Third, my completely unprofessional opinion is that you're not eating enough. Fill your body with foods that are nutritious: 500 calories of a salad with grilled chicken is totally different than 500 calories of marshmallows (but I'm not saying that this is what you're doing! I haven't peeked at your diary.). The whole "1200 minimum" has gotten a lot of varied reactions from this community (just search for it-- there's been a LOT of debate), but I eat quite a bit more than that, and all of my exercise calories back, but I know that that's what works for me. It seems like you've seen that eating very little doesn't work for your body, so try to be willing to try something different.

Friend me for support, if you'd like. Getting into healthy habits (not just weight loss) can be a very long road, but it will be worth it in the end.

tracy287

read Chantel Hobbs Never Say Diet best book ever

Becxox

I hope you give this site a chance, it does work. You do need to eat to lose weight. Starving yourself will not work. I do believe you need to seek out a doctors advice or a diet expert. You may have issues that are not diet related that could be hindering your success. Good luck to you.

You are getting some great advice here. Please give this a go as you do need food to lose weight.
Starving yourself and working out is starving your body so anything you do eat your body hangs on to and does not burn it off.

Also get yourself a hobby and focus on something else for a while, the only thing you need to remember is eat and track you food, stay within your claories for the day, dont worry about anything else for the moment.... the rest will follow

Lizchan

You need to work in sustainable solutions. Things like cleansing can't be maintained.
The only sustainable solution is to watch what you eat and exercise regularly.
If your picture is accurate, you don't look that heavy and you will feel much better about yourself in no time.

Good Luck.

I don't have more fat because I've been exercising and dieting for a long time.
But no matter what, I don't lose or gain weight.
Please read a post made very recently. It at least tells how this happened.
I feel sooooooo awful about this. I have done all that I could. I've been trying the healthy way for a very long time and nothing has been right... the picture is accurate, yes... but it does not mean I'm skinny. Anyone can look skinnier in pictures.
I will post a full body later. I'm so gross to myself.

MummaAimz

This site works dollface! I felt the same way 2 months ago...I felt fat, disgusting, I would cry because of it...and then I found this place. All the wonderful people on here make it SO EASY to stay on track. I have lost 19 pounds on 2 months just from minimal exercise and maximum diet changes. ITS A MARATHON NOT A SPRINT! The best way to loose weight and KEEP IT OFF is to do it properly through diet and exercise...more so diet then exercise.Track your foods honestly, if you go over every now and then thats ok..it will keep your body guessing. You can do it! Add me to your list..I'm always looking for friends to motivate!

Becxox

Always focus on the positive, you have lost 3lbs!!!

mandyc1108

Have you kept track of your inches? Success can be measured in more ways than just the number on the scale.

darlilama

Don't forget that stressing yourself out over losing weight is very counter-productive. Have you talked with your doctor? If not, I'd suggest that you need to do that… you need people who can help get you on the right track. If you've HONESTLY been doing the "right" things… eating nutritious foods (not just the right number of calories), eating the right quantities, exercising, etc., then there may be an underlying health problem that you need to resolve. You can't do that here. You need to go see your doctor. If your doctor doesn't take you seriously, then find another doctor. On the other hand, if you aren't honestly doing the right things, then you need to start doing those things.

Hating yourself is not going to help you and it's not going to help anyone else help you. Doing everything "fad" diet is not going to help you. Educate yourself… and I don't mean read every stupid thing on the internet and believe it. Be a skeptic. Stick with reputable web sites, such as the American Heart Association, American Diabetes Association. Even if you don't have these health concerns, they have a lot of useful information on food and your health. Better yet, ask your doctor about seeing a nutritionist.

If you are truly as emotionally desperate as you sound, then seek out friends and family that you trust. See a therapist. There's no shame in asking for help to get your head together as well as your body.

Don't give up. It's just time to regroup and seek the help you need… not just here, but in your family and community.

Best of luck… I'll be hoping for you! :flowerforyou:

Lizchan

First, you need to know that you're not alone in your struggles. There are MANY people on here (including myself) who have tried less-than-healthy ways to weight loss, and have felt the same sadness and hopelessness.

Second, have you thought about seeking out a therapist? While you'll get some support here, sometimes professional support (in additional to personal) can be extremely helpful and enlightening. And there's absolutely no shame in looking for professional help. The feelings that we tie to our bodies can be REALLY hard to sort out, and sometimes an outsider can help the most.

Third, my completely unprofessional opinion is that you're not eating enough. Fill your body with foods that are nutritious: 500 calories of a salad with grilled chicken is totally different than 500 calories of marshmallows (but I'm not saying that this is what you're doing! I haven't peeked at your diary.). The whole "1200 minimum" has gotten a lot of varied reactions from this community (just search for it-- there's been a LOT of debate), but I eat quite a bit more than that, and all of my exercise calories back, but I know that that's what works for me. It seems like you've seen that eating very little doesn't work for your body, so try to be willing to try something different.

Friend me for support, if you'd like. Getting into healthy habits (not just weight loss) can be a very long road, but it will be worth it in the end.

I won't go to a therapist again for this. Already tried. They told me I don't have to lose weight. I DO NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. I HAVE NO CHOICE. I am sick over my weight. I felt fine until I got fat. That is when my SEVERE depression and arthritis started. I lost a lot of my strength very fast. I have been from doctor to doctor looking for a medical condition and they can't find one.

The therapists all say the exact same thing. You look fine. Yeah, you're a little big, but so what.

It matters SO much to me because my family has a history of diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure... a lot of disease caused by becoming overweight! This is a big, big, big deal. It has also taken a serious toll on my ability to do all the things I'd like to do. Such as maybe one day, wear a bikini... or have a boyfriend who won't call me a fat***. Stuff like that. Why must this be IMPOSSIBLE to obtain!?

Konpeito

DO NOT STARVE YOURSELF!! You will only GAIN weight by doing that. Don't take diet pills either those are never a good thing to use you need to loose the weight naturally. If you keep working hard and eat all the calories MFP tells you to (You must eat close to what it tells you to everyday, This way you will loose weight and keep your body full of energy) it will come off as long as you keep at it. you have to learn to love how you look right now or else you will only worry about apperces and not the main point GETTING HEATHLY! Never give up on yourself you can do more then you relise and never stop trying, because if you give up what was your point in wanting to inprove yourself think back on WHY you wanted to loose the weight in the first place. You can do it!!

margojr4

What is your daily menu like? What kind of foods to you eat? Maybe some of us can help you with suggestions to tweak your food choices?

gp79

Log everything that passes between your lips. Do you currently log your food? Can you share your diary with us?

lmelangley

Ok, first, you need to calm down. I think that's your main problem - you're so upset you're stressing your body to the max. May be part of the reason you're not losing weight.

Second, throw the freaking scales out the window. I'm serious. Let's approach this as a healthy lifestyle change, not a number on a scale. That's what you want, isn't it? To be healthier.

Next, make sure you have all your info in MFP. Put in details to lose 1 lb a week. Log every bite that goes into your mouth. Watch the number of calories you're allowed to have like a hawk - and make sure you log all exercise. Eat no fewer than 100 calories less than MFP recommends. Watch the calorie count throughout the day so that you're not gorging yourself at night.

Take your measurements. The normal chest, waist and hips, but also thighs and calfs and biceps and triceps.

Now comes the hardest part. Patience. Don't go near a scale or take your measurements for 6 weeks. Yes, that's an incredibly long time. But, you have to give your body time to detox from all the stress you've been putting it through.

And, you need to remember that a slow and steady weight loss is healthier than one that's quick. And, our bodies can go up and down a few lbs in one day- it's perfectly normal.

Friend me if you'd like. And, feel free to send me messages if you're freaking out. You can do this. You just have to stop being mean to yourself.

trelm249

First off. Sure. You are over weight. You have a lot company on that one.
Second. You have an unhealthy relationship with food and how you perceive yourself. Again, you have a lot of company.
Third. Chemicals helped screw up your weight previously. There isn't a good reason to think they are part of the solution. You don't need them.

Getting fit and healthy is where you should be headed. Get your head screwed on right about this. If you focus on some arbitrary number on a scale and getting there quickly, you will only get yourself mentally, emotionally, and physically more jacked up.

Set a reasonable goal of 1 to 2 lbs loss a week to establish caloric goals. Be honest and if that goal comes in at somewhere between 1500 and 2000 calories, don't second guess it. Eat. Eat healthy whole foods that aren't overly processed. Eat a good ratio of protein, carbs, and fats (which are not evil). Food is fuel. It isn't your enemy and it isn't your lover. It's just fuel. Log everything.

Exercise regularly. Three times a week for half an hour a time is a good start. Don't go overboard and don't skip it. Go walk. Go lift at the gym. Ride a bike. Whatever it is, do it regularly. It will help your metabolism. It will help teach the body to burn fat. More importantly, it will help manage stress and improve your mental well being. Log everything.

Be patient. Give it eight weeks before you make changes. Your body will need time to get with the program. Patience and persistence will get you there.

Get your head in the game and you can make the change. Don't get your head in the game and you flame out and flake out. Good luck.

Ebbykins

First, you need to know that you're not alone in your struggles. There are MANY people on here (including myself) who have tried less-than-healthy ways to weight loss, and have felt the same sadness and hopelessness.

Second, have you thought about seeking out a therapist? While you'll get some support here, sometimes professional support (in additional to personal) can be extremely helpful and enlightening. And there's absolutely no shame in looking for professional help. The feelings that we tie to our bodies can be REALLY hard to sort out, and sometimes an outsider can help the most.

Third, my completely unprofessional opinion is that you're not eating enough. Fill your body with foods that are nutritious: 500 calories of a salad with grilled chicken is totally different than 500 calories of marshmallows (but I'm not saying that this is what you're doing! I haven't peeked at your diary.). The whole "1200 minimum" has gotten a lot of varied reactions from this community (just search for it-- there's been a LOT of debate), but I eat quite a bit more than that, and all of my exercise calories back, but I know that that's what works for me. It seems like you've seen that eating very little doesn't work for your body, so try to be willing to try something different.

Friend me for support, if you'd like. Getting into healthy habits (not just weight loss) can be a very long road, but it will be worth it in the end.

I won't go to a therapist again for this. Already tried. They told me I don't have to lose weight. I DO NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT. I HAVE NO CHOICE. I am sick over my weight. I felt fine until I got fat. That is when my SEVERE depression and arthritis started. I lost a lot of my strength very fast. I have been from doctor to doctor looking for a medical condition and they can't find one.

The therapists all say the exact same thing. You look fine. Yeah, you're a little big, but so what.

It matters SO much to me because my family has a history of diabetes, cancer, high blood pressure... a lot of disease caused by becoming overweight! This is a big, big, big deal. It has also taken a serious toll on my ability to do all the things I'd like to do. Such as maybe one day, wear a bikini... or have a boyfriend who won't call me a fat***. Stuff like that. Why must this be IMPOSSIBLE to obtain!?

I am so sorry to hear this happened to you, the Depo really screwed up 2 other people I care about as well, like you they both gained huge amounts of lbs in a short time and are both still working hard to take the weight off. It will take time. Patience. I suggest googling support online from others who have been in your shoes from Depo BC weight gain. YOU CAN DO THIS.

Becxox

Lizchan you need to change your mindframe from i can't to I CAN and only you can do it.
I log on every day so if you want we can do this together, make your food diary public to keep you accoutable and yes log everything that passes your lips.

I am here for you if you want me to be and so is everyone else!

I am happy to message you everyday to remind us to stay positive and things will change.

Weekly weigh ins might help too, take measurements and post them, its hard now but if you stick to this you will see changes

ansinclair8

I know what it's like to feel terrible about your body. To avoid cameras and mirrors because you don't want to see yourself. Alot of people on this site do. I also know what depression feels like. I've suffered with it since grade school. I am so much better now, but depression doesn't just disappear. I have been on a rollercoaster with my weight for at least ten years. Recently I realized that my problem is that I don't love myself. I don't feel like I deserve to be thin and healthy. It was like a light bulb turned on in me and I realized that if i put myself down, hate myself and tell myself I'm not worthy of anything better, than my weight will continue to go up and down. I am beginning to accept myself and love myself because even if I'm not happy with the way I look, I am a good, compassionate person. Beautiful on the inside and that's what matters. The other thing is telling myself that I can do it. Before I didn't think I could, but now I'm feeling a sense of accomplishment as I face this struggle head on. I know I can achieve my goal without a doubt in my mind. Please, please don't starve yourself. You need to feed your body to lose the weight. Yes, it's a long struggle, but with nutritional education, realizing you are special and deserve to feel special and a great support system such as MFP you can go far. If you'd like to friend me I would be happy to help support you on your journey. Good luck my dear. You can do it!

engineman312

bump...

CaptainGordo

bumps...

Fixed it.

Janeilicious

Please don't starve your body. Doing that only sets you up for failure. It puts your body into starvation mode and it will store any carbs or sugar you put into it as FAT. You need to eat. You just need to be burning more than what you're putting in. It's easy to feel like you can't do anything when you're depressed. Sure it's easier to stay inside and not get out and be active. Think about how much better you will feel about YOURSELF as a person if you just take a 15 min walk around your neighborhood. You can do it! Don't give up.