LITERALLY CRAPPING MYSELF :( :(

MzFury

I definitely hope to help encourage you, definitely also want to suggest that whatever "real life", on-the-ground support you have had in the past for ED issues, you seek that out now. I don't have to tell you it's a serious disease, and worse still, to me, is just how much otherwise fun, productive or creative life energy these patterns seem to suck out of the people who are sick with them.

I admire you for recognizing that you should just be able to go enjoy your birthday with your loved ones, hold onto that rational thought... And yes, as to "days off", I can understand that if part of your deal is still learning how to not binge, for instance,"days off" could seem like things you can't have.

But in the scheme of healthy eating and food relationships, the healthy goal is to be able to have meals off plan once in a while (for most people social, travel, financial, health or work reasons usually dictate at least one meal a week that's not "controllable" or easy to plan ahead for) that you are comfortable with; to eat on a daily basis in a way that is leaving you feeling full and nourished, not hungry (which coddles anorexic/deprivation tendencies and makes us more prone to bingeing), so that when you're off plan, you're not freaking out with physical or emotional hunger. And of course, to be able to be off plan, at some fabulous thing, and have a couple of drinks, a bit of dessert, some cheese, whatever, without freaking out about body image issues...

First, remember that the reality is that, if you typically eat healthfully and get exercise, unless you have a metabolic disorder (In which case, you need a doctor), your body will just burn even a thousand extra calories in an unusual meal or day, and simply returning to your normal healthy habits the next meal or day is usually completely sufficient in the world of maintaining your fitness or weight, or staying on your weight-loss track. Second, remember that anyone's enjoyment of life is absolutely not worth sacrificing over food and body obsessions, even if a person does go off track enough to gain a little bit of weight, for instance. Which isn't what you're even facing, here.

Finally, if you're going to non-chain restaurants, I like to think that you're going to nice ones where the quality of the food is going to be a lot better, and you should bloody well enjoy that... Now, if it's a fish-fry place or something, I'm not so sure, but hell, I never eat at chains! Don't trust them, want to support local businesses, and can definitely get them to work with me if I have a special requirement...

Best wishes to you, Happy Birthday and Happy Thanksgiving!

Kalrez

Man, it's like people didn't even really read the original post. They got hung up on the "literally" in the title and just went ape**** over it. GG folks.

And as much as you people think "Gosh, it's just one day" helps - it doesn't. Not to someone with a history of ED.

So yeah.

OP: I've been there. I've been in recovery for years, and sometimes I still get a little panicky about going out to eat. I live 700 miles from home, so when I go see the family, my trip is normally filled with food (all of Mom and Grandma's best dishes, tons of restaurants that aren't where I currently live, etc). I enjoy it as long as I don't think too much about it. I tell myself that this is all apart of living a normal life, one that isn't ruled by food and shame and guilt and anger and everything else that comes along with ol' ED.

I sincerely wish you a happy (and healthy!) birthday.

beckamelia1

i thought this was about really pooing yourself!!!! lol

happy bday!!!:flowerforyou:

ilookthetype

Its not even a chain restaurant that i can find food on the database for.

And goodness knows what gluten-free options they will have available

Tell them that you're gluten intolerant and make sure they understand the severity of it. Most places will help out a gluten intolerant.

Go over, it's fine, I know its hard (ED history) but it's not something to allow yourself to feel shame over.


Also, to those obsessing about her use of literally: If she's gluten intolerant and get's glutened, her use of "literally" could be quite accurate.

deksgrl

You look beautiful. I agree with those who have said to call the restaurant ahead of time and work out what they have that you can feel good about eating. Even if it is not perfectly perfect, that will give you some sense of control in the process. I also agree with those who said one day is not going to ruin you, but I think that is not the point for you. It's about not feeling out of control that would send you into a spin. So make the phone calls, I'm certain you will feel better about it.

beckamelia1

oh i just realised its your bday tomoro and mine!!!! lol im 27 tho!!

NiciS72

First Happy Birthday. Second, on the Gluten Free I think you're best at a non chain restaurant. I have to be GF and find that the local places are much more accommodating and understanding as to my needs. I say call ahead and ask #1 do they have a GF menu and #2 if they do not can they make something you like off their menu special order so it's GF. Most places are more than willing to accommodate you on this!

Third, although I've never had an ED, I would say #1 take a breath and #2 make a plan you can stick to so you don't freak out when you are at the restaurant. I find I make bad choices in these situations if I don't plan ahead. When I do plan, I have a good time and don't sweat that I'm eating a little more (I also will exercise heavily on days like this i.e. Thanksgiving!)

Lastly, Have fun and enjoy being with your family!

Best of luck!

SHDenver

Ashleigh,

Based on what you've written I don't think the issue is just taking one day off to enjoy your birthday. If that were the case then I'd be with a lot of other people saying "It's just one day!"

I know from my own experience that the "one day" can turn in to more than just one day or multiples of "one day." Do you work with a doctor regarding the multiple eating disorders you've had in your life? The distorted thinking around food seems to be the big issue based on what you've written.

I don't know you or what you've worked through in the past, but I think you can enjoy your birthday without hurting/damaging the work you've done to remain healthy by planning as many people suggest.

Is there a friend there that will support you in making healthy choices? I hate when people tell me what to and what not to eat, but when I let someone know "This is what I plan on doing, it might not work out exactly like I plan but I'm going to try." They're much more supportive than a simple "Hit me if I'm eating too much of this, or drinking too much of that."

If your family is going to be worried about you then maybe you can all make a plan. Since starting a previous tracking site two weeks ago, then moving to this one a few days ago I've only eaten out once and I'm still working on adding "out to eat" as an option. Right now it's because I know the temptations food has and I want to know the ingredients that I'm putting in to my body. I've told several friends about my goals and they've all been supportive but not pushy. I don't think we realize how much the people in our lives will be understanding about our struggles with food. Not all, but some.

I'm not a doctor and I don't know what the right answer for you is, but I want to support you in whatever is healthy for you. You can still have an amazing night where you don't feel restricted. I think it just takes some planning and communication.

Let us know if there's any help you need with that and how it goes! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Shawn

taso42

Oh. Not litetally after all. I thought this was going to be a post about Alli.

d2footballJRC

2 meals out tomorrow. i hate hate hate eating out, it is just so stressful

It really risks bad compensation habits coming back

It's my flipping 21st birthday and I am more concerned with food than letting myself enjoy the celebrations with friends and family,

what is wrong with me?!!?

If i am allowed one day off in my entire year, and even life, it should be this. But im still absolutely dreading it.

I know my parents will be worried too because of my multiple eating disorders over the last 5 years, i just don't want to ruin it for me, my twin AND Them

Its not even a chain restaurant that i can find food on the database for.

And goodness knows what gluten-free options they will have available

ARGHHHHHH

just needing a bit of support from you guys to psyche me up, knock some sense into me so i don't go back to old habits, and cheer me up.

I think you should see a therapist. Sounds like underlying issues.

One day over eating will be very hard to pack on pounds once you excrete the actual waste and the food has been broken down and sent through the body. Quit freaking out and just eat sensibly. Drink water why you eat, drink a glass as you order you won't be as hungry.

Tujitsu56

I don't want to say anything to make you feel any worse especially in that I know nothing about your eating disorders, but what I've found out about myself is that, I don't have to watch calories extremely close. I can pretty much eat what I like a few days throughout the week and maintain my weight while actually toning my body more. It's all about caloric deficit (I actually think weekly as opposed to daily.... maybe even bi-weekly).

ANOTHER GOOOD SUGGESTION. Just go workout the day of or day before. Get in a REALLY GOOD WORKOUT. I mean HIGH CALORIE BURN. You should feel better about yourself and know that you have earned the right to consume those calories. Because then it becomes the fact that you now NEED TO EAT MORE because you have to fuel your body... Thats what I DO:)

bett_boop

Oh. Not litetally after all. I thought this was going to be a post about Alli.

hehehehehe, you sound disappointed! (i to immediately thought of Alli... alas.)

bett_boop

Ashleigh,

Based on what you've written I don't think the issue is just taking one day off to enjoy your birthday. If that were the case then I'd be with a lot of other people saying "It's just one day!"

I know from my own experience that the "one day" can turn in to more than just one day or multiples of "one day." Do you work with a doctor regarding the multiple eating disorders you've had in your life? The distorted thinking around food seems to be the big issue based on what you've written.

I don't know you or what you've worked through in the past, but I think you can enjoy your birthday without hurting/damaging the work you've done to remain healthy by planning as many people suggest.

Is there a friend there that will support you in making healthy choices? I hate when people tell me what to and what not to eat, but when I let someone know "This is what I plan on doing, it might not work out exactly like I plan but I'm going to try." They're much more supportive than a simple "Hit me if I'm eating too much of this, or drinking too much of that."

If your family is going to be worried about you then maybe you can all make a plan. Since starting a previous tracking site two weeks ago, then moving to this one a few days ago I've only eaten out once and I'm still working on adding "out to eat" as an option. Right now it's because I know the temptations food has and I want to know the ingredients that I'm putting in to my body. I've told several friends about my goals and they've all been supportive but not pushy. I don't think we realize how much the people in our lives will be understanding about our struggles with food. Not all, but some.

I'm not a doctor and I don't know what the right answer for you is, but I want to support you in whatever is healthy for you. You can still have an amazing night where you don't feel restricted. I think it just takes some planning and communication.

Let us know if there's any help you need with that and how it goes! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Shawn

such a lovely reply!

brittanyjeanxo

I think you misunderstand the meaning of the word "literally."