Bummed

little_wolfie

I don't know where else to post this, but I kind of need to vent, so here we go.

My last pregnancy sucked. I threw up all the time, ruptured my ear drum, and got preeclampsia around 25 weeks. I finally had to be induced at 33 weeks because my blood pressure went so high (220/140). It was a nightmare. But having Toby was worth it, and I've been thinking I want to get pregnant again soon.

So I went to see an OBGYN and she had me do a bunch of tests. CT scans on my kidneys, visits with the cardiologist, etc. The cardiologist discovered that the pregnancy left me with a leaky tricuspid valve, which isn't a big deal now but I have to get it checked every year and if I get pregnant my heart could explode. So I saw an expert on preeclamptic pregnancies and he said that if I get pregnant again I have a 50% chance of dying, and even if I lose the weight, I still have a 1 in 5 risk of becoming severely preeclamptic again and losing vision in one of my eyes (a vein burst during my last pregnancy and left it scarred) etc etc.

So I'm bummed. I really wanted my son to have a sibling and I really wanted another baby, maybe even just so I could "do everything right" the second time... you know, breastfeed, try for a normal delivery, etc. Adoption is not in the cards for personal reasons.

I'm bummmmmmeeedddd.

little_wolfie

I don't know where else to post this, but I kind of need to vent, so here we go.

My last pregnancy sucked. I threw up all the time, ruptured my ear drum, and got preeclampsia around 25 weeks. I finally had to be induced at 33 weeks because my blood pressure went so high (220/140). It was a nightmare. But having Toby was worth it, and I've been thinking I want to get pregnant again soon.

So I went to see an OBGYN and she had me do a bunch of tests. CT scans on my kidneys, visits with the cardiologist, etc. The cardiologist discovered that the pregnancy left me with a leaky tricuspid valve, which isn't a big deal now but I have to get it checked every year and if I get pregnant my heart could explode. So I saw an expert on preeclamptic pregnancies and he said that if I get pregnant again I have a 50% chance of dying, and even if I lose the weight, I still have a 1 in 5 risk of becoming severely preeclamptic again and losing vision in one of my eyes (a vein burst during my last pregnancy and left it scarred) etc etc.

So I'm bummed. I really wanted my son to have a sibling and I really wanted another baby, maybe even just so I could "do everything right" the second time... you know, breastfeed, try for a normal delivery, etc. Adoption is not in the cards for personal reasons.

I'm bummmmmmeeedddd.

ChubbyBunny

First off.... that is the cutest turkey EVER!

Secondly, I am sorry that your risks are so high. I wish my sister-in-law would be as concerned for her health as you are. She just kept having kids.... and health wise she is not well. I don't want her kids to grow up without a mom (even if they drive me nuts)!

Also, I am sorry adoption isn't in the cards either....cause that was my initial thought.

If you decide not to risk it.... enjoy the little one you do have. Savor every moment you do get. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes raising kiddos (oye...the stories I could tell).
Love the one you have....with everything you have.
Remind me to take my own advice too. :laugh:

:flowerforyou:

VballLeash

I'm so sorry to here that, that has to be really tuff. Just think of how blessed you are to have Toby, I'm sure he's a wonderful little boy, and he'll help you get through this ruff time in your life. Hopefully you can lose some weight to get healthier and then you never know maybe things good change! :happy:

~Leash

mrsyac2

why be bummed when you have already been blessed with a beautiful child just think it could always been worse. Please dont take offense but seriously my motto is it could always be worse. You think you have it bad there is always someone who has it worse. I know plenty of women who can't get pregnant on there own or with the help of IVF.

The risk is up to you-- The doctor didn't say you couldn't have any more kids he just gave you your odds. You still can have another child if you wanted to take the risks

Enjoy the blessing you already have.

Im sorry adoption isn't an option for you there are plenty of kids that need someone

LuckyLeprechaun

I have not worn your shoes, but the language you are using makes me feel sad for you. Is your little boy healthy? do you love him with all your heart and try to do everything you can for him? Then you don't have to get pregnant again to "do everything right". You are already doing everything right.

If you focus your mind in the direction of "grateful for what you have", instead of "longing for what you don't", perhaps you will find comfort.
:flowerforyou:

I understand the need to vent, I am not judging you. Hoping you find happiness:flowerforyou:

Lizjkp

I can only sympathise with the predicament you find yourself in. Can you not leave it be for a year or so and then have more tests, perhaps if you get to a good weight for your height and age, excercise, eat properly ,look after your body you may be able to repair the damage or at least not allow it to get worse?

Do remember that you do have your little boy who needs his mommy to be happy and healthy in order to look after him for a good number of years yet.

Try not to think of what you do not have for the time being and think of what you do have, and what you may be able to have in the future with a bit of work and dedication on your side.

Good Luck and take care. Look after yourself today and tomorrow will look after you.

The character of a person is often carried in the mannerisms of his pet

kimber607

Hi

I'm so sorry
I know lots of people will tell you to be happy u have a healthy son
BUT I can understand your sadness/feeling of loss because you can not have a second child
My DH is an only child and we both wanted our ds to have a sibling....my ds also had lots of health issues at birth so I was looking forward to having a 'healthy' newborn
I was lucky enough to get pg with #2 but she had some health problems also, and I was a little crushed about having to deal with them all over again...though I wanted to be thrilled just to be lucky enough to have #2

((HUGS))
I can understand the longing to have baby #2 doesn't go away because you have a healthy child

Kim

Mickie17

I have not worn your shoes, but the language you are using makes me feel sad for you. Is your little boy healthy? do you love him with all your heart and try to do everything you can for him? Then you don't have to get pregnant again to "do everything right". You are already doing everything right.

If you focus your mind in the direction of "grateful for what you have", instead of "longing for what you don't", perhaps you will find comfort.
:flowerforyou:

I understand the need to vent, I am not judging you. Hoping you find happiness:flowerforyou:

I'm with Lucky on this....NOT JUDGING YOU...just asking you to take a real good look at Toby while you contemplate this decision. Is TOBY worth the risk of you not being there to raise him?

My thoughts are with you!

breezysoul

I'm so sorry to hear about your problems. First of all, I'd get a second opinion with this. I had preeclampsia with my first child and was put on bed rest and eventually induced. Fortunately, my blood pressure didn't get quite as high as yours. When I asked my doctor about a second child, she said there is a slightly greater risk of another preeclamptic pregnancy. Sure enough, I did have it with my son but with very minor complications. I had a c-section because he was breech. Hang in there. I totally understand the want to have a second child. If it's meant to be - it will be.