FOOD GUILT

MLeigh18

I feel guilty every time I eat something that's not good for me. Which at a certain level is ok and a good thing, however, it actually takes such a serious affect on my mood that it's becoming a bit out of control.

Example: Thanksgiving work party yesterday. Loaded up on meats and broccoli. Guilt level: 2 because the broccoli was smothered in cheese.

Had 2 small rolls: guilt level rose to a 4- i knew i should have only had 1 but i LOVE bread, so i seriously felt like i HAD to have a second one.

Then came the dessert table... ugh.. thinking about this makes me sick.

first plate: 1 slice of pumpkin pie, 1 cup of ambrosia, and 1 mini chocolate cupcake. Guilt level: 8 I knew I should have gone for the mini cupcake and that's it because it had the fewest calories on the table but I felt as if something took over my hands and forced them to continue grabbing at the desserts.

After finishing the first dessert plate, i hung out and chatted with co-workers who then got up and got a second round of desserts, so i did too. I got another slice of pumpkin pie, another mini cupcake and a chocolate sugar cookie. My guilt level was ridiculously off the charts afterward and for the rest of the day. I was angry for not controlling myself. I was angry because I knew better. I was angry because my office supplied the desserts. So because I was angry, guilty and embarrassed that put me in a really foul mood for the rest of the day.

Although it seemed to subside as i entered my gym i'm still pretty upset about it. I still feel guilty. I feel like a dog with it's tail between it's legs. I'm ashamed of myself, I'm mad, embarrassed and hurt that I couldn't control myself.

Any suggestions on how to stop this guilt? I believe having a certain level of food guilt is okay to have, in fact it should be a good thing so that it does keep me in line. And I try to remember that guilty feeling before stuffing something in my face i know i shouldn't but my mind and tastebuds override that guilt. They just say "aw *kitten* it" and go crazy with the bad food.

Are there any mental tricks I can use that will help this? Other than remembering how guilty i felt the last time?

And it's not about being full because even if i'm overly stuffed with the good stuff and there's dessert available, i'll make room. Even if it knowingly will make me literally sick.

help.

umachanxo

It's something that you really have to work out.. Self moderation, I mean. It isn't going to come to you over night - and will probably take several weeks or months.

Just remind yourself that you're doing this for you. Ask yourself if eating that second round is really worth it or not. That's all I do, and it has worked well for me. However, in the event that I will snack on a little something, I don't beat myself up over it.

Know what I do? I know that what I'm eating isn't that great - so I make sure to only have a little. AND I ENJOY IT. I don't think to myself, "YOU'RE SO AWFUL" because, really, that just hinders my weight loss journey by making me feel as though I've failed.

I hope that helps >.<

Josee76

"You Can Have Your Cake and Eat it Too!" (this comes right from your profile).... I might be tagged as being rude for this one.... but girl, you work hard, you look great and "You Can Have Your Cake and Eat it Too!" so honestly .... it's not the end of the world.... tomorrow is another day! Get over it, it happens and don't make a habit of it! You're on this journey for a lifetime!

allehp

I can relate, I have the same issue.
The important thing is to look at the junk food and think, "I'm not going to eat that because it will make me, and my body, feel terrible." Not, "I can't have that." Plus, everything's great in moderation. When you allow yourself cheat meals and cheat snacks once in a while you're less likely to go nuts at work parties.
It really is an addiction, we didn't gain the weight to begin with by accident, you know? Every day you'll work on it and get a little better, one step at a time. Some days are better than others, that's for sure! Just make sure you forgive yourself, move on and get right back on track. That's all you can do! :flowerforyou:

shydaisi

I think the biggest thing is to get back to business as usual today. One day of indulgence will not derail your overall progress more than a couple of pounds. It is when you use the derailment as an excuse to continue to eat badly that causes the problem. Just file it away as a day of indulgence and get back to normal today.

Keep in mind that this is life!!! There will be good days and bad days, you just have to make the good outweigh the bad. You can't completely eliminate the "bad" foods from your daily regime because the binge happens eventually... once you get back on track, try to incorporate a few "cheat" items into your diet, but make sure they fit into your caloric goals for the day.

Chairless

Agreed with the others.

Learn to let it go, being good all the time is no life at all.

Faintgreeneyes

First off you need to go a little easier on yourself. If you are exercising, eating well, splurging once in awhile will not undo everything you have been working on. If what you ate fits into your daily calories, there is really no reason to feel guilty.

I do not know you, or how strong your will power is, I know for me that if I am put into a situation where I will be tempted by food that I should not eat, I will leave the area or drink some water. I am not someone who is a huge lover of food, I do love desserts though. I think that the more guilt you end up laying on yourself, the easier it will be to mentally get yourself down to a level where you won't care anymore about what you are eating. If you are that hard on yourself, it is only going to want to make you want those bad things that much more (we want what we cant have).

Shake it off, know that you have worked hard, and will continue to work hard. This was a one day thing, and go from there. We all have made bad decisions in food choices along this journey, but that doesn't make you a "bad" person, or someone who is not committed to their healthy lifestyle. You haven't failed, keep this in mind and just try to make better choices next time!

dlaplume2

I don't want to get into semantics, but I think you are not talking about food guilt here. From what you desctibed in you intro, you made it sound like food guilt over a little cheat here and there, that is a bad thing. When you go on an all out splurge and you feel guilty, "you SHOULD." I'm not saying you need to beat yourself up and not move, but you should feel guilty. You totally blew it.

Now the suggestion I have for you is-Reexamine what you want for goals and what you are allowed to do and what you are not allowed to do. Make a game plan for when you go to parties. Like- you are allowed to have one dessert, one drink, etc. Then come up with a good non food related reward if you stick to it. One other way to avoid overeating a lot of the same foods it to eat that food, then go and get something else to drink, that will clean the palate. Then you will remove the taste. It's easier to get it out of your mind if you can't taste it still.

If you exercise and allot yourself some fun calories and you pick foods to fit into those calories, there will be no guilt. Thus no food guilt snowball.

Best wishes

Gdzgal771

think of something or someone you love more than food and as you approach the table-say thank you i love (insert thing) more

than food..i do not live to eat =i eat to live ! bet it will work!! WE CAN DO THIS!!!

laura328

your mind is a powerful thing. use it to re-focus those emotions. guilt is a waste of time because you are focusing your energy on something that you cannot change after the fact. why fret and torture yourself over something you can do nothing about? move forward. next time, force yourself to think and not feel - think to yourself 'am i willing to blow it today for this second piece of pie?' and if you blow it, guess what? no big deal! this is a lifestyle that you will employ for the rest of your life if you want to live healthy and there will be occasions where you go off your daily regimen and eat pie, or a plateful of dessert! that's ok so long as you don't do it every day. remember your brain is more powerful than you think. use it to remain in control whether you eat that dessert or not! try to make it a conscious deliberate choice as opposed to an impulse that takes over against your better judgment!

hope that helps. and YES we have all done this a million times before. it's not how hard you fall, but how high you bounce back the next day! give yourself a break! you're OK!

aimeeturner

I have tried the "all or nothing" approach to this lifestyle and attempted to cut out ALL bad foods. That doesn't work for me. It might for some. So, what I have decided through this journey is to enjoy life. By that, I mean that I want to enjoy living a healthy life but at the same time one that does not come with such drastic limitations that keeps me from actually enjoy it. It is basically just a mind shift that you have to make that will allow you to enjoy special treats from time to time but not over-indulge in them. What I have learned is that when I totally deny myself the things that I really love, then I eventually get to the point where I just go crazy one day and go overboard. Just think of each new day as a new start and try to say no to that guilt that will drive you insane.

Britt59

I agree with Josee 76..you can have your cake and eat it too, so be proud off that, eating the things you mention is ok just not everyday, you workout right? so your working those calories out of your body, your pic looks great & some women would do anything to look like you so be proud that your a roll model and your only human....don't beat yourself up over it!

neanderthin

Extremes generally result in extreme behavior and failure. Try the old standby of a 80/20 approach and give yourself a chance at least.

MLeigh18

I don't want to get into semantics, but I think you are not talking about food guilt here. From what you desctibed in you intro, you made it sound like food guilt over a little cheat here and there, that is a bad thing. When you go on an all out splurge and you feel guilty, "you SHOULD." I'm not saying you need to beat yourself up and not move, but you should feel guilty. You totally blew it.

Now the suggestion I have for you is-Reexamine what you want for goals and what you are allowed to do and what you are not allowed to do. Make a game plan for when you go to parties. Like- you are allowed to have one dessert, one drink, etc. Then come up with a good non food related reward if you stick to it. One other way to avoid overeating a lot of the same foods it to eat that food, then go and get something else to drink, that will clean the palate. Then you will remove the taste. It's easier to get it out of your mind if you can't taste it still.

If you exercise and allot yourself some fun calories and you pick foods to fit into those calories, there will be no guilt. Thus no food guilt snowball.

Best wishes

Thanks ya'll for the comments. The thing I'm reading most is "so what, move on"... You see, that's the problem. I get the mind set of "oh it's just one day, no biggie, i'll be back on track tomorrow." I say that every day. But where is tomorrow. Tomorrow doesn't come. Tomorrow is pushed off until tomorrow. It's a repetitive pattern of "tomorrows".


This comment here is what I was maybe looking when i wrote this post. Thanks. I'd rather hear someone get in my face and say "yeah, you effed it up dont do it again" as opposed to "oh it's okay honey! better luck next time". I really appreciate the support, comments and suggestions from everyone though. I need the tough love more so than the comforting kind.

ElizabethRoad

I don't want to get into semantics, but I think you are not talking about food guilt here. From what you desctibed in you intro, you made it sound like food guilt over a little cheat here and there, that is a bad thing. When you go on an all out splurge and you feel guilty, "you SHOULD." I'm not saying you need to beat yourself up and not move, but you should feel guilty. You totally blew it.

I think you are totally wrong. Why should food be associated with guilt? To me that sounds like a really unhealthy relationship with food. If I eat too much then it's just a simple fact. I might worry that it will stall my weight loss, but I'm not going to feel guilty about it. I think that saying someone should feel guilty about what they eat is stunningly awful advice.