When is time to call it quits?

Options
2

Replies

  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
    Options
    Your SO sounds pretty supportive to me. He tried to be sympathetic to your melt down and to how you were feeling.

    There is no time to call it quits. This is a lifestyle change. Something that has to happen for the rest of your life.
  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
    Options
    Yup, he was definitely trying to support you and show his caring but the 'it's no big deal' comment invalidated your feelings.

    You could just talk to him and say 'I'm sure you were trying to support me when you said '...' but I felt '....'. Next time, could you say something like '....'"

    A good man is hard to find so don't chuck this one unless he's totally useless!

    Also, a good relationship takes lots of talking and compromise and change.

    Good luck on your journey!
  • jplucheck
    jplucheck Posts: 275 Member
    Options
    Ooo, you're talking about dropping the boy aren't you?

    Yes yes I am, I am doing this all for me not anyone else and I need some support and understanding not someone that tell me it’s not big you have no reason to change, blah blah blah, it depresses me more to be with someone that can't understand why I want to change my lifestyle and be healthier.
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,386 Member
    Options
    I don't think anyone has understood the question properly yet. I don't know, it sounded to me like he was trying to comfort you which I would consider supportive. Maybe you'd better sit down and have a talk with him about this before you make any drastic decisions.

    right...good point. re-read that again. you are on the path i think.

    I agree....have a conversation with him.
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,386 Member
    Options
    Ooo, you're talking about dropping the boy aren't you?

    Yes yes I am, I am doing this all for me not anyone else and I need some support and understanding not someone that tell me it’s not big you have no reason to change, blah blah blah, it depresses me more to be with someone that can't understand why I want to change my lifestyle and be healthier.

    from what you wrote...honestly, what he said sounds pretty good to me. I think he was just trying to be a calming influence...which sounds like it came out wrong or didn't take the proper effect.

    I would have a sit down conversation with him...talk to him about how you feel and how he can support you.

    good luck!
  • world2c
    world2c Posts: 178 Member
    Options
    take how you feel rght now, and use it as motivation. You just had a bad day, what is important, is what you do now- are you going to stay down, or keep fighting??? In my opinon, you should wipe your tears, put on some rocky music, and get back on your game. DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOURSELF, YOU ARE WORTH EVERY BATTLE, EVERY CRY, EVERY BIT OF SWEAT. Go get it!!
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Options
    I think he was trying to comfort you and make you feel better. Maybe you should talk to him about how you feel when you aren't so emotional.

    I get your point, but making a drastic decision when you are clearly upset is never a good idea.
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
    Options
    Different point of view:

    You're SO was being supportive in this situation. You were being emotional and dramatic. YOU cancelled the whole trip (that did not just involve YOU) because YOU didn't accomplish what YOU thought you should have. You are lucky that is all your SO said. My So would of hugged me, told me to put my big girl panties on and get in the damn truck.

    Put yourself in his shoes!
  • MisterDubs303
    MisterDubs303 Posts: 1,216 Member
    Options
    Personally? I think from your description, he WAS trying to be supportive, but he genuinely doesn't know what you need from him. I'd sit down and have a good heart to heart about what being supportive means to YOU before you throw in the towel completely. For some people, what he said would make them feel better and be encouraging, but for you it isn't. Our partners sometimes need direction, imho.
    Ditto. Be upset for him not totally understanding, sure, but getting more upset because he tried and missed? Jeez, cut the guy a break.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Options
    Different point of view:

    You're SO was being supportive in this situation. You were being emotional and dramatic. YOU cancelled the whole trip (that did not just involve YOU) because YOU didn't accomplish what YOU thought you should have. You are lucky that is all your SO said. My So would of hugged me, told me to put my big girl panties on and get in the damn truck.

    Put yourself in his shoes!
    Exactly this.
  • michelca
    michelca Posts: 41
    Options
    Personally? I think from your description, he WAS trying to be supportive, but he genuinely doesn't know what you need from him. I'd sit down and have a good heart to heart about what being supportive means to YOU before you throw in the towel completely. For some people, what he said would make them feel better and be encouraging, but for you it isn't. Our partners sometimes need direction, imho.

    I agree. He needs to know how to encourage you. Let him be able to give you the support you need.
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,386 Member
    Options
    Different point of view:

    You're SO was being supportive in this situation. You were being emotional and dramatic. YOU cancelled the whole trip (that did not just involve YOU) because YOU didn't accomplish what YOU thought you should have. You are lucky that is all your SO said. My So would of hugged me, told me to put my big girl panties on and get in the damn truck.

    Put yourself in his shoes!
    Exactly this.

    good points! agreed as well
  • jplucheck
    jplucheck Posts: 275 Member
    Options
    Thank you all, you’re probably right I am being emotional and perhaps over dramatic. Maybe he was trying to be supportive and not insensitive and I just took it the wrong way. I guess he didn't say what I was looking for at the time, which is not really his fault at least he tried right! You all have made me look at this specific situation with a different perspective!
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    Options
    Thank you all, you’re probably right I am being emotional and perhaps over dramatic. Maybe he was trying to be supportive and no insensitive and I just took the wrong way. I guess he didn't say what I was looking for at the time, which is not really his fault at least he tried right! You all have made me look at this specific situation with a different perspective!
    Glad to hear it. Now go talk it out with the guy :flowerforyou:
  • GeneaCindy
    GeneaCindy Posts: 148 Member
    Options
    I think he was trying to be supportive - and my guess is he really does feel that way. I know it can be hard to believe, when we really dislike they way we look and feel, that we are worthy of other people's love. I have had a melt down before, and got pretty much the same reaction. It truly wouldn't have mattered what he said at that point - I was so upset. When you are in a better mindset - talk to him and tell him what you need to hear. You can do it!

    PS - I keep telling myself this is the year to get back into skiing, but I have been avoiding buying the clothes and having to get my bindings set for my weight - ugh. I'm hoping for some late spring skiing - weather and weight permitting.
  • drog2323
    drog2323 Posts: 1,386 Member
    Options
    Thank you all, you’re probably right I am being emotional and perhaps over dramatic. Maybe he was trying to be supportive and no insensitive and I just took the wrong way. I guess he didn't say what I was looking for at the time, which is not really his fault at least he tried right! You all have made me look at this specific situation with a different perspective!
    Glad to hear it. Now go talk it out with the guy :flowerforyou:

    then go workout. (teasing)
  • StrengthIsBeautiful
    StrengthIsBeautiful Posts: 309 Member
    Options
    Different point of view:

    You're SO was being supportive in this situation. You were being emotional and dramatic. YOU cancelled the whole trip (that did not just involve YOU) because YOU didn't accomplish what YOU thought you should have. You are lucky that is all your SO said. My So would of hugged me, told me to put my big girl panties on and get in the damn truck.

    Put yourself in his shoes!
    Exactly this.

    good points! agreed as well

    Indeed. Really, he couldn't have said anything "right" at that moment, and it sounds like he was trying to be kind.
    Tomorrow is a new day. Make it a better one. I think we all have moments like this, be it your shoes or his. :flowerforyou:
  • jplucheck
    jplucheck Posts: 275 Member
    Options
    I have had a melt down before, and got pretty much the same reaction. It truly wouldn't have mattered what he said at that point

    I think your right, anything that was said probably would have been taken out of context considering how upset I was.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    Options
    Thank you all, you’re probably right I am being emotional and perhaps over dramatic. Maybe he was trying to be supportive and not insensitive and I just took it the wrong way. I guess he didn't say what I was looking for at the time, which is not really his fault at least he tried right! You all have made me look at this specific situation with a different perspective!

    This makes me happy. Give him a big hug for trying. He'll be so confused.
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
    Options
    Thank you all, you’re probably right I am being emotional and perhaps over dramatic. Maybe he was trying to be supportive and not insensitive and I just took it the wrong way. I guess he didn't say what I was looking for at the time, which is not really his fault at least he tried right! You all have made me look at this specific situation with a different perspective!


    Glad I could help, now go reschedule that trip. :smile:

Categories