my friend

PetitePerfection
PetitePerfection Posts: 199 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
I dont know what's up with her lately, but she's been really depressed. We're seniors in high school and she always says that she wishes she was home-schooled and never wants to be part of any social situation. A lot of the time, she'll go into her math classroom during lunch to do homework or study instead of talk to people, but it's not because she doesn't have time to do it at home, because she doesn't do anything after school. She pretty much hates everything and everyone but, honestly, it seems to me that she is really insecure and afraid to let go. I can't remember the last time I saw her smile or laugh and I'm worried for her. I've also noticed that she's gained some weight recently. What should I do? How can I help her to be happy again?

Replies

  • All that I can reccomend is to express your concern, and let her know that you are there for here... in confidence!
  • cycle_queen
    cycle_queen Posts: 49 Member
    Some people, like myself, feel uncomfortable in group settings. I am attractive, bubbly, and friendly and TOTALLY feel uncomfortable around people I don`t know. I have introvert tendencies and feel more comfortable around small groups of friends that I know. Maybe find a common thing you guys like and go from there. It is also possible that she`s depressed from her weight gain or something is happening at home. Who knows. But whatever you do, don`t press. If she wants to talk to you about it, she will.
  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
    It's great that you care about your friend, but you cannot help her be happy again. You can talk to her, tell her what you're noticing, ask her what's going on for her etc.

    Look up some info about depression so you know what you might be dealing with.

    Your school should have a counsellor she can talk to, if she's willing. Or she might be willing to go to her Dr - some medication might help take the edge off.

    Best wishes...
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    Yes, talk to her and say that you are worried about her, and list the reasons you told us. Ask her if she would like help talking to your guidance counselor about it.
  • localatte
    localatte Posts: 78 Member
    You may want to ask your friend to do something with just the two of you. Choose an activity that would be relaxed and use the time to talk to her about your concerns. One of the best things that people who are depressed or feeling down is to feel needed.

    Ask her to help you out with something either academic or just a project at home. This way she will feel useful and needed and then maybe a little more confident about opening up.

    If you are really concerned that she is possibly clinically depressed, talk to an adult you trust and ask for help.

    You are a good friend, and she is lucky to have you.
  • zesss
    zesss Posts: 36
    Some people are just introverted and there's nothing wrong with that. Not wanting to interact socially isn't always a sign of depression or a deeper problem.

    However, if she has become more withdrawn, let her know that you're worried and try and find out what's wrong. Let her know that you love her and that you'll stick with her - you're obviously a good friend. If it's obvious that something's up and she won't talk to you, maybe ask another friend to have a word to her or even speak to her parents about it.
  • PetitePerfection
    PetitePerfection Posts: 199 Member
    Thanks for the advice everyone! Now, how would I go about bringing it up? I've tried telling her that I've noticed that she's been depressed lately and she kind of just avoids talking about it. Should I just let it go and wait for her to be ready?
  • zesss
    zesss Posts: 36
    I think you should just sit her down and be completely honest. Maybe even mention that you're so worried that you even asked people advice on a forum! Just be completely honest the whole time - you're worried, you feel like she shuts down when you talk bring it up, that you're not sure if you should let it go and wait for her to come to you - just let her know everything that you're feeling. Just make sure that you don't put it across in a way that might make her feel guilty for worrying you. Reiterate that you love her and want her to be happy and that you're there for her - even if it's just to hang out and not really do much of anything.
  • Thanks for the advice everyone! Now, how would I go about bringing it up? I've tried telling her that I've noticed that she's been depressed lately and she kind of just avoids talking about it. Should I just let it go and wait for her to be ready?

    " Hey [insert name here], what's up? You don't seem like yourself these days. Is anything going on that you wanna talk about?"
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