Yours? Or Mine? What's the proper *etiquette*?

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  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    I think this is akin to someone's treating you to a meal, then you pack up (and take home) the leftovers at the end of the meal, except that you are doing it at the beginning. Just to avoid awkwardness or the appearance of being rude, I would hold off on boxing it up and just eat half of what's on your plate, then pack up what you didn't eat at the end.

    I am also a little overly sensitive to others' feelings, in that I wouldn't want them to feel like a huge pig because I packed up half of my food at the beginning and they didn't, so I would wait until the end to box up half my meal regardless. Plus then you don't have that take-out box sitting on your table, taking up space! Additionally, if you end up eating less than half, you don't have to go through the whole boxing-up process again :)

    But no, I don't think it was rude at all, not even close. I'm guessing you're not rude in general if you are worried about this, which is a small thing in the grand scheme. I wouldn't bat an eyelash if someone did this when I was treating them to a meal, especially since I have seen some pretty boorish behavior in restaurants.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    It's a lot less rude than people that destroy half their food so they won't eat it. There are people that will actually eat half and then pour candle wax or whatever is available on the other half so they don't eat it. -_-

    if i was on a date and the person did that, i would seriously get up, settle the bill up front, and walk the FUDGE OUT!!

    I wouldn't go as far as to walk out, but I'd be a little put off. I've heard of people dumping their drink (or water) on their plate. Way to make a mess for the staff!!!
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    Avoid the drama, and box it up when you're done.
  • janet_pratt
    janet_pratt Posts: 747 Member
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    I think if you tell them up front that you are watching your calorie intake and that you don't want to waste half, they would be fine with it. But if it were me, I wouldn't think it was strange or have a problem with it even if you didn't tell me.
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    I would be mortified, but I am English and have NEVER eaten in a restaurant that offers you a 'box' to take food home in...other than pizza hut....so this is way out of my experience and so take no notice of me......
  • Maryfullofgrace
    Maryfullofgrace Posts: 342 Member
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    I am not sure what is proper etiquette, per se. Maybe think about it this way. Put yourself in the other persons shoes, which is what I think you are doing and you are seeing it might come across to them as rude. Next time maybe ask your friend, date, whoever is paying if they want to split an entree. If the answer is "no" then practice your acting... when they bring the food be prepared with a convincing face---

    You: Oh my!!! (lift up the plate, feel how heavy it is...)
    You: "Oh... gosh this is A LOT of food... Look, this could feed a family of 4! I KNOW i am not going to be able to eat all of this... oh gosh... do you want some of this?"

    your friend: "naw, I'm good here..." (Is probably what they are going to say) or they might say "Heck yeah bring it on!" or they might say "You don't have to eat it all...."
    You: to the waiter, "would you mind bringing me a box?"
    Box arrives...
    You: "You want me to get another box and you can have some too to take home?"
    them: "nah, go ahead..."
  • Jill_newimprovedversion
    Jill_newimprovedversion Posts: 988 Member
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    I am not sure what is proper etiquette, per se. Maybe think about it this way. Put yourself in the other persons shoes, which is what I think you are doing and you are seeing it might come across to them as rude. Next time maybe ask your friend, date, whoever is paying if they want to split an entree. If the answer is "no" then practice your acting... when they bring the food be prepared with a convincing face---

    You: Oh my!!! (lift up the plate, feel how heavy it is...)
    You: "Oh... gosh this is A LOT of food... Look, this could feed a family of 4! I KNOW i am not going to be able to eat all of this... oh gosh... do you want some of this?"

    your friend: "naw, I'm good here..." (Is probably what they are going to say) or they might say "Heck yeah bring it on!" or they might say "You don't have to eat it all...."
    You: to the waiter, "would you mind bringing me a box?"
    Box arrives...
    You: "You want me to get another box and you can have some too to take home?"
    them: "nah, go ahead..."

    OK! This^^^^ definitely qualifies as the "drama" referred to earlier. This is how I may handle it NEXT time though, should I go again with the same person. Sarcasm to the MAX.
  • Maryfullofgrace
    Maryfullofgrace Posts: 342 Member
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    Of course then be gracious for the dinner, send a little "thank you note" to them the following day telling them the conviviality of the evening was enjoyed again savoring the memories with my leftovers. Then close with a return invitation to your home for a lunch or coffee.

    Boom, etiquette... the lost art of the "thank you note". Makes everything better when you show appreciation.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    Of course then be gracious for the dinner, send a little "thank you note" to them the following day telling them the conviviality of the evening was enjoyed again savoring the memories with my leftovers. Then close with a return invitation to your home for a lunch or coffee.

    Boom, etiquette... the lost art of the "thank you note". Makes everything better when you show appreciation.
    What is this "thank you note" you speak of? :wink:
  • Maryfullofgrace
    Maryfullofgrace Posts: 342 Member
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    It's this short little note that you get delivered by post, and for some crazy reason, it always makes the receiver extremely happy!?! :wink:
  • Artemis_Acorn
    Artemis_Acorn Posts: 836 Member
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    I think there is lots of room for variations of interpretation of YOUR motivation, and so how you handle it should reflect that relationship. For example, if the person who is paying is aware of your efforts to be healthy and supportive of those efforts, it is completely different than a person who is aware but JEALOUS of your success. Or who is overweight and may take your actions personally as an insult - rubbing their nose in their own obesity. (Let's face it, lots of people turn everything into being all about themselves.) The exaggerated "Dinner is huge" approach may work in some situations, but if that person has ordered a similarly sized entree, particularly if it is another woman, it may also be taken personally.

    So if you have already encountered some drama over asking for a box at the beginning of the meal, the ideal thing is to make it absolutely clear that you aren't ripping them off by ordering a huge entree that you have no intention of eating and/or that it is in no way a reflection on them. Here is the diplomatic approach I would probably take.

    Once I have made my choice of entree, and before the waiter comes to the table, I would talk about how wonderful my chosen selection looks, or sounds or whatever. This cements the idea that I wish to have that entree because I expect it to be delicious. Then, I would share with them my concern that it might exceed the specific restrictions that my doctor has imposed. This removes any potential that you will be judging their choice, and makes it clear that your portion size is due to medical reasons, not selfishness. Then, I would (almost apologetically) ask them if they would mind if I asked for a box in order to remove the temptation to violate doctors orders. This gives them the opportunity to be gracious about it, and reinforces your previously stated reason. If they were to say that they do mind at this point, you might have to get creative, and ask what they suggest. Most people will not be ungracious in this situation, but feel that you have enlisted their aid in resolving a dilemma. If THEY suggest or endorse the idea of you splitting it out, then they won't feel stung by it.

    People can be hard to understand at times, but I do believe most people are at heart, good. If they are offering to pay, this demonstrates a degree of generosity and good will - you just have to convince them that you aren't taking advantage of their kind gesture.

    For the record, I HAVE had to deal with similar situations with my in-laws, and the approach I outlined above worked like a charm with them.
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    It's this short little note that you get delivered by post, and for some crazy reason, it always makes the receiver extremely happy!?! :wink:
    Sorry -- I was joking (hence the :wink: ). The thank you note is something of a lost art. it's always a nice gesture.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    If I buy someone lunch, I don't want their leftovers. So, by all means, take them with you. I'm pretty laid-back about stuff, so this wouldn't even register in my mind as out of the ordinary.
  • Maryfullofgrace
    Maryfullofgrace Posts: 342 Member
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    It's this short little note that you get delivered by post, and for some crazy reason, it always makes the receiver extremely happy!?! :wink:
    Sorry -- I was joking (hence the :wink: ). The thank you note is something of a lost art. it's always a nice gesture.

    I agree... hence my wink too! I am always taken aback when I get one and it always makes me think fondly of the person.

    And so, thank you ElexGordo for your kind reply...
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    I would be mortified, but I am English and have NEVER eaten in a restaurant that offers you a 'box' to take food home in...other than pizza hut....so this is way out of my experience and so take no notice of me......
    Oh if you visit the US be prepared to have half your dinner leftover. The portion sizes are ridiculous. One entree can easily be 1300 calories.
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    I would be mortified, but I am English and have NEVER eaten in a restaurant that offers you a 'box' to take food home in...other than pizza hut....so this is way out of my experience and so take no notice of me......
    Oh if you visit the US be prepared to have half your dinner leftover. The portion sizes are ridiculous. One entree can easily be 1300 calories.

    Can I also point out...entree is a starter or first course....lol I guessed as much, as can not imagine any of the places I eat in would even have anything for you to take food home in lol
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
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    I would be mortified, but I am English and have NEVER eaten in a restaurant that offers you a 'box' to take food home in...other than pizza hut....so this is way out of my experience and so take no notice of me......
    Oh if you visit the US be prepared to have half your dinner leftover. The portion sizes are ridiculous. One entree can easily be 1300 calories.
    Can I also point out...entree is a starter or first course....lol I guessed as much, as can not imagine any of the places I eat in would even have anything for you to take food home in lol
    Entrée (or entree) is often used in the United States and Canada as the name of the main course.
  • lil_pulp
    lil_pulp Posts: 701 Member
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    I would say at the beginning of the meal (before you order) that you're only hungry enough for half an entree. If the other person doesn't want to share one with you, then say something like "If it's ok with you, I'll just get half of it to go so I can enjoy it for lunch tomorrow."
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    I would be mortified, but I am English and have NEVER eaten in a restaurant that offers you a 'box' to take food home in...other than pizza hut....so this is way out of my experience and so take no notice of me......
    Oh if you visit the US be prepared to have half your dinner leftover. The portion sizes are ridiculous. One entree can easily be 1300 calories.
    Can I also point out...entree is a starter or first course....lol I guessed as much, as can not imagine any of the places I eat in would even have anything for you to take food home in lol
    Entrée (or entree) is often used in the United States and Canada as the name of the main course.
    I've always wondered why we call the main course an entree, when the word itself seems to tell you it's the starter. But I'm too lazy to google it at the moment. And apparently too lazy to type the é. :laugh:
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
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    In the future, I would just eat half of it, and ask for a box right away, rather than box up half right now. Even though you had good intentions, the person could think you were trying to bring it home to feed to your spouse or child.

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