not close families

tinytubbs

I don't really get people who have to spend so much time with their families. I didn't have a bad childhood or anything but i don't want to spend my time with my brother or sister. I also only see my parents on holidays and we only live 70 miles apart.

Does anyone else get tired of the "how can you not be close with your family?" crap

robin52077

I also have a "not close" family. One side I haven't seen at ALL in at least 6 years, the other side someone will come to visit maybe once a year and I'm fine with that.
I see my parents briefly once a weekend or so as I do go there to drop my son off because they watch him while I work...but we're not overly close.

I have broken up with a guy before because of him being a mama's boy...

BeautyFromPain

yup!

although my family does have a *ahem* history so thinks that makes up for it.

Esmo23

I am very close with my family - parents and brother. BUT I can understand why not all families are like this. I believe I am very lucky

nerdyandilikeit

My family is one of those close families. My brother and sister are two of my favorite people in the world, and my cousins are like siblings to me.

Now, my best friend (she's been my best friend since high school), her family isn't close in the way mine is. They don't hug every single time they say goodbye, or say I love you every time they hang up the phone (these were things that were ingrained in me during childhood and they stuck). At first I had a hard time not thinking it was bizarre and kind of unnatural, but over the years I can see that there's just as much love there. It's just shown differently.

So, I can see how families interact differently. And unless you're actually saying you hate your family (I don't think that's what you're implying), I'm sure you still all love each other plenty.

ackeebee

i can totally relate to this and hate being asked the question... i have a good relationship with my immediate family and we are in touch regularly by phone and email, however, the face to face contact is quite rare because we all have separate lives and are not in the same country. i have been living in the UK for the past 10 years, my parents and one of my sisters lives in jamaica, one sister lives in canada and another sister in florida. i see my parents and my sister in jamaica once a year for about 2 weeks while my sis in canada i see about once every 2 years and my sis in florida i have not seen in about 6 years.

i would love to see my family more often but at the same time i don't think we should be in each others skin 24/7 to have a relationship. it is still possible to maintain the relationship from a distance.

natika33

I definitely get tired of the how can you not be so close to your family crap, but in my case, it comes from my own family!

My sister and I have very little in common, we know this and accept this and rely on each other when necessary, but neither she nor I see the point in seeing/talking to each other on a regular basis. My mother however, lectures us constantly about how we should be closer. I feel we are close - just in a different way.

By most people's definition I'm pretty close to my parents. I call them once a week where we talk for 2 hours usually, I have gone on family trips with them even as an adult and when I lived in the same country as them, I usually made the four hour trip to their house about once a month and more if there was something pressing that they wanted or needed. According to them however, I am a terribly distant daughter who since I'm not married obviously must be coming up with silly excuses for not wanting to live with them in their town with no jobs past the age of... oh... 34! (insert eye-roll here)

You can't please everyone however. As many other people have said - every family is different. I wish I had a great come-back to tell you to say the next time you're bugged about it, but unfortunately, I'm not skilled in that department. Good luck!

fatgirlzrule2

" If I just met you on the street... if you gave me your phone number... I'd throw it away. " - Home For The Holidays

My husband started this topic, we have this family thing in common, and maybe this is part of the reason why we are so close.

Anyway, I am not close to most of my family. I love you's between my parents and I are few and far between. My one older brother I talk to on Facebook about once every 6 months and my other brother, well, Facebook keeps suggesting him as a friend, but neither of us have sent the other a request. I haven't talked to him in over 10 years.

As far as my extended family, growing up we would get together for holidays, and a lot of them still get together I guess. I have no interest in associating with any of them and plan on keeping it that way.

It's not that I had some sort of "The Child Called It" life or something, I just have NOTHING in common with them (or plain out don't care for them), and I choose not to pretend to enjoy spending time with them. Why do it just for show? I would much rather spend my holidays with my husband, the very few relatives we talk to on a semi-regular basis, and our friends.

brookepenni

I understand totally. My bf and I go overseas for a week every Christmas - Bali - bring it on!!

I dont want to go spend time with my family, only to then feel obligatory to spend time with his, and back and forward. I am closer to my half brother who I have actually never met and lives in another country than I am to my siblings I grew up with.

I get told now my sister has a child that we should all be together for Christmas. Why? Because she had a baby, whats that got to do with me?

I did also have a normal upbringing, but I find dealing with my family stressful. Its easier just to send the occasional 'Im still alive' text.

People who arent close dont get it. But thats their issue Ive decided.

fatgirlzrule2

I get told now my sister has a child that we should all be together for Christmas. Why? Because she had a baby, whats that got to do with me?

I did also have a normal upbringing, but I find dealing with my family stressful. Its easier just to send the occasional 'Im still alive' text.

People who arent close dont get it. But thats their issue Ive decided.

Couldn't agree with you more!

DisneyAddictRW

I have a mixed up family. I talk to my mom almost daily by phone. Just to check in and see how's doing. I also have dinner with my parents twice a month (we live 30 mins apart). I have 2 sisters and 2 brothers.bi talk via text and phone about once a month to my older brother. My younger sister and brother I talk to almost daily. My older sister I haven't spoke to in almost a year. I found the stress she brings is not worth it anymore. To put it as nice as I can.....she's a drunk and hates me because I'm married plus happy. Drives her nuts but she chooses she path so she can have what I have I just choose not to live based around beer. Don't get me wrong I drink once in awhile but she spent $5000 last year on beer (according to her).

I guess I'm close to most but totally not with my older sister.

brookepenni

It's not that I had some sort of "The Child Called It" life or something, I just have NOTHING in common with them (or plain out don't care for them), and I choose not to pretend to enjoy spending time with them. Why do it just for show? I would much rather spend my holidays with my husband, the very few relatives we talk to on a semi-regular basis, and our friends.

Haha - we're identical. Yes, pretending to be enjoying your time is tiring, boring and frustrating. Spending time with my partner is whats important to me, so thats what I am going to do. We get limited holidays from work, and we both live interstate from our families, so it costs money to go there - and you know what - if its going to cost me money, Im going to go somewhere I want to go, and be with people I want to be with. Its as simple as that!