I am emotionally tired/non supportive spouse

paigele

I agree "You can onlly control you, you are only responsible for you....decide, commit, succeed..."

Who knows what he is thinking. It could be many many things. But when I personally decided that this journey is one I have to take for myself and no one else, the temptations that came my way were easier to face, as were the criticisms.

I FINALLY have stopped hearing my coworkers tell me that I am "losing too much weight," or that I "am too thin." Of COURSE they would think that way when they have never ever seen a healthy me.

I check in with my primary care physician every few months and give him a status update and he is thrilled that I am off the meds I needed before and staying on track.

Do it for you and every time you see a food item that is tempting to you but you know doesn't have nutritional benefit, say to yourself, " diabetes, heart disease, stroke, liver and kidney problems, blindness, cancer..." (Risk for these and other ailments are linked to improper eating patterns.)

It works for me because I don't want anyone to have to change my adult diaper if I can help it.

Oh and you may want to plant the seed now that cardiovascular disease in men looks different than in women. Often the first indication that men have of vascular problems is onset of erectile dysfunction. True. If he isn't eating healthy let him know to get a jump start on it now, and if he is encourage him to stay that way for a lifetime of happiness all the way around.
Reference: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/erectile-dysfunction/HB00074

If that doesn't paint a motivational picture for you then just accept this virtual {hug} and keep truckin'.

SHDenver

I'm not in your house, but I can understand the frustrations of not having someone be supportive. I liked the idea of cooking some turkey in the beginning of the week and then portioning it for sandwich as far as cost effectiveness. (I also like chicken in sandwiches and you can buy chicken breasts in bulk in a lot of stores.) Also, you might want to mentally and physically separate the healthy foods you like from his foods. I don't know if that's good advice or not, I guess just something to try. Perhaps if you're foods in a cabinet where you don't have to see his--or if they're in a separate drawer in the fridge, you can better support yourself in not gravitating towards his foods.

I'm assuming you guys cook and eat together for most meals. I've been looking for ways to cook foods in healthier ways, such as not using fats or oils when sateing, and instead using spices (Major four are black pepper, no-salt sodium alternative, garlic powder, cayenne pepper) and instead putting a reduced fat or sometime full fat cheese on my meats. (Go to is blue cheese)

I find baking with cooking spray and using spices also adds a lot of flavors to veggies, meats, etc. I'm also looking for lower sodium and calorie alternatives to whole grain cous cous, rices, etc.

Just some ideas, though I recognize that I'm by myself, so it's a lot easier to test foods and stay within a reasonable budget. Use the support you can get from people on here and in your life until your husband realizes what he's doing. There's a lot of mental and emotional crap we all go through around food and I'm assuming your husband is going through the same things. Hopefully he figures it out. Take care and let this site be your support!

lik_11

My hubby does the same thing- snacks on candy/sweets all night, every night. I LOVE CANDY!!!! He complains to me how he "tries to gain weight, and can't". boo hoo.

BUT- I made the decision that I want to lose weight... for ME. Some days I sit down and munch on candy with him, even though I know I shouldn't. It's ok. The next day I get back on track. It's a slow go. Eating less candy is part of my lifestyle change- but I'm not willing to cut candy out of my life forever.

Good luck to you- and it will get easier!!! Be strong day by day... minute by minute if you have to. Just don't give up because he's not supporting you. YOU be strong!

((((((((((((((((o)))))))))))))))))

honeysprinkles

I had a little bit of trouble with this in the beginning too. I'd be hungry and all my calories were gone and he'd be eating cookies, another bowl of cereal, etc. But I just had to realize that it's his choice, and not even a few weeks ago I was eating the same things as he was and I surely didn't want him to say something to me about it. So now I try to only worry about what I'm eating, though I understand that it's easier said than done when it means your partner is bringing in lots of junk to the house.

smblakely

I know how you feel. My husband tries, but he doesn't get it. He is very active. Plays basketball ALL the time and never gains a pound. Can eat whatever he wants. He came home this past weekend after going to the grocery store with his daughter (my step-daughter) and brought back, powdered doughnuts, chocolate doughnuts, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, huge muffins, and whole milk. Mind you he had to go to the store to get breakfast stuff for the weekend; so I asked him what I was supposed to eat, he just looked at me and said why can't you eat this. It's not that bad for you. I was so mad, because I felt like he wanted me to fail. Not to make excuses, but they just don't understand. Sometimes I think my husband doesn't want me to lose weight so other men won’t find me attractive. IDK...I hope it works out for you. I sent you a friend request so maybe we can vent...haha.

robinogue

sending you big hugs! I'm also a wife whose husband doesn't understand my strieve to be better, eat better and do better. I can tell you from personal experience, you must do this for you! You can't control what he eats, when he eats it but you must have the self control to say no thank you. My husband eats junk every night, he used to bring me my favorite things after a while he noticed I wasn't eating them or tempting to eat them so know my surprises are grapes, yogurts, smoothies etc.

suzycreamcheese

If you dont have the self control to stick to your own diet without expecting other people to eat exactly the same, you may as well give up now because its only a matter of time before youre in the company of someone else eating cake again.

barbergirl28

I know how you feel. My husband has a tendency to try and shove food down my face. He doesn't realize that I can only say No so many times before my willpower fails. He isn't trying to hurt me... he just thinks it is something I would enjoy and he is trying to be nice. Have you tried telling your husband that this is something that you need ot do for yourself. I have had the talk to my husband and it works for awhile and then he just reverts to old habits. Good luck and stay strong!

dorisholaway

I know what you are talking about. Many years ago when I was married, my husband would complain so much about me being over weight and I would go on a diet just for him. And he would go to the store and buy 8 to 10 boxes of Little Debbies and bring them in the house. ( he never would do this until I started dieting) He has always been an extra skinny (or should I say scrawny) man. He knew that I could not resist them if they were in the house. I now am a happily divorced lady and am losing weight for myself, not him.