Too competitive with too many insecurities

Beastette

Here is the truth. Truly awesome people don't post everything on Facebook. They don't need an audience. Only the people who need to appear awesome brag on Facebook all the time. The rest are too busy being awesome.

Either take the time to learn from her as a handy resource to pursue your dream, or find a new one. But realize that wanting to be "the best" when it comes to looks is ridiculous. Looks are subjective, therefore you can't quantify the "best". While looking at her, you're missing you.

MaraDiaz

I suggest a career in genetic research. Probably won't help any of us, but maybe all of our grand kids will have perfect, easy maintenance bodies. :bigsmile:

AZTrailRunner

While everyone else will say "don't compare yourself to others", and "god made you naturally beautiful", and yada yada.....

I just figure someone like that is a nut job, and probably has much lower self-esteem than you, hence the need to always flaunt her beauty, and fight for the spotlight.

There's a crude saying.... "For every gorgeous super model, there's a guy who's tired of her sh1t!"

I hope that made you feel better. :bigsmile:

lloydrt

reminds me of that song from the 70's, AT SEVENTEEN

Your original post reminded me of that song, one that millions of teen aged girls live every day...........good luck, hope things go well for you


Listen to the words of that song............I liked the part that went like this........

from Janis Ian

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth

/ C - / Dm - / G7 - / C - / :

And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say, "come dance with me"
And murmur vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems at seventeen

woou

Yeah. Sometimes I get down with thinking I wasn't dealt as good of a hand as someone else. In my mind, I know that mindset isn't going to get me where I want to go the longer I dwell on it. It helps not to compare yourself to anyone else but yourself.

And what's up with putting this other girl down to bring OP up? C'mon you guys. We don't even know her.

servilia

There must be something SHE'S horribly insecure about if she feels the need to post those pics all over FB so I'm sure she's plenty jealous of other people for things they have that she doesn't.

Luckily I've never been that type of jealous of anyone IRL. Work on yourself, especially qualities that will work for you in the long run, that will last longer than a couple of pages in a men's magazine.

sal22408

- blonde hair, golden tan, feirce smile, flawless body - the works. She's the definition of perfect! Its unreal.

I imagine to some, this is the "definition of perfect". Perhaps your definition is wrong?
I believe NOBODY is perfect...and Thank God for that because I would fail miserably.
I think beautiful is the girl who cares for the people in her life, shares a smile with the people who are or arent, and gives love with ease...just because they truly do.
Society has made all of us (me included) so insecure because of what we are told is "perfect" ....i cant handle the pressure. Take me or leave me
Im 40 now...it took that long to "get" it. I hope it doesnt take you that long. Love YOUR life girl....forget hers. NOBODY is perfect...i dont need to see her to know this

sal22408

sorry, obviously im still learning how to post on this forum and didnt know how to correctly quote and post...*duh* me

mmmckenna1

I like your insight and truth Jenna

mmmckenna1

reminds me of that song from the 70's, AT SEVENTEEN

Your original post reminded me of that song, one that millions of teen aged girls live every day...........good luck, hope things go well for you


Listen to the words of that song............I liked the part that went like this........

from Janis Ian

I learned the truth at seventeen
That love was meant for beauty queens
And high school girls with clear skinned smiles
Who married young and then retired
The valentines I never knew
The Friday night charades of youth
Were spent on one more beautiful
At seventeen I learned the truth

/ C - / Dm - / G7 - / C - / :

And those of us with ravaged faces
Lacking in the social graces
Desperately remained at home
Inventing lovers on the phone
Who called to say, "come dance with me"
And murmur vague obscenities
It isn't all it seems at seventeen

love it!!!

mmmckenna1

Love it

mmmckenna1

I used to feel that way... but...

Now I'm old enough to know that kind of beauty fades with time.

This. And what did she due to earn her beauty? Pick good parents? A lot of appearance is just luck. Focus on things that you can earn to define you. Be smart, fun, nice, caring and in DAMN good shape.

me too.

jowings

The words of words of wisdom I can provide aren't nearly as eloquent as everyone else, but I turn to this quote when I feel this way:

"No matter how good she looks, someone, somewhere, is tired of her *kitten*." ; )

Definitely not classy, but it makes you feel a teensy bit better !

jowings

While everyone else will say "don't compare yourself to others", and "god made you naturally beautiful", and yada yada.....

I just figure someone like that is a nut job, and probably has much lower self-esteem than you, hence the need to always flaunt her beauty, and fight for the spotlight.

There's a crude saying.... "For every gorgeous super model, there's a guy who's tired of her sh1t!"

I hope that made you feel better. :bigsmile:

Oh dang! Thought that I got in there first

liftingheavy

I agree with the responses but since you went there I have the same issue with just 1 girl at the gym.

I work out with my boyfriend and we've never discussed her but she is the type that walks around flaunting her "stuff".

And it's hard not to look at her. Long legs, huge fake boobs, long blonde hair in ponytails, tan and full make-up... The tightest brightest workout clothing you can imagine - complete with camel-toe. She works out like a fiend and is in great shape.

I know that my boyfriend has "been there done that" as far as those types of girls but he "has" to at least look and wonder. Heck, I can't keep my eyes off the girl.

Now I feel better.

jennajava

I like your insight and truth Jenna

Thank you!

atsteele

It is easy to be jealous of what you "think" her life is ... we never really know what other people's lives are like. You have to start being happy with you and your life. In high school I was so jealous of this cute little cheerleader who had the "perfect life" or so I thought. At our 20 year reunion she admitted to me that she had always been jealous of my many friends and my outgoing personality ....WTH - i almost fell out of my chair. Apparently being thin and beautiful isn't the answer to happiness. You only get one shot at this life ... walk your path and enjoy your journey ... envy and jealousy just waste your time and energy.

Love this story!! Perfect example of "grass is always greener on the other side of the fence"... until you get there.

Beeps2011

From the NYT

The Life Reports II
By DAVID BROOKS
A few weeks ago, I asked people over 70 to send me “Life Reports” — essays about their own lives and what they’d done poorly and well. They make for fascinating and addictive reading, and I’ve tried to extract a few general life lessons:

Divide your life into chapters. The unhappiest of my correspondents saw time as an unbroken flow, with themselves as corks bobbing on top of it. A man named Neil lamented that he had been “an Eeyore not a Tigger; a pessimist, not an optimist; an aimless grasshopper, not a purposeful ant; a dreamer, not a doer; a nomad, not a settler; a voyager, not an adventurer; a spectator, not an actor, player or participant.” He concluded: “Neil never amounted to anything.”

The happier ones divided time into (somewhat artificial) phases. They wrote things like: There were six crucial decisions in my life. Then they organized their lives around those pivot points. By seeing time as something divisible into chunks, they could more easily stop and self-appraise. They had more control over their fate.

Beware rumination. There were many long, detailed essays by people who are experts at self-examination. They could finely calibrate each passing emotion. But these people often did not lead the happiest or most fulfilling lives. It’s not only that they were driven to introspection by bad events. Through self-obsession, they seemed to reinforce the very emotions, thoughts and habits they were trying to escape.

Many of the most impressive people, on the other hand, were strategic self-deceivers. When something bad was done to them, they forgot it, forgave it or were grateful for it. When it comes to self-narratives, honesty may not be the best policy.

You can’t control other people. David Leshan made an observation that was echoed by many: “It took me twenty years of my fifty-year marriage to discover how unwise it was to attempt to remake my wife. ... I learned also that neither could I remake my friends or students.”

On the other hand, some of the most inspiring stories were about stepparents who came into families and wisely bided their time, accepting slights and insults until they were gradually accepted by their new children.

Lean toward risk. It’s trite, but apparently true. Many more seniors regret the risks they didn’t take than regret the ones they did.

Measure people by their growth rate, not by their talents. The best essays were by people who made steady progress each decade. Regina Titus grew up shy and sheltered on Long Island. She took demeaning clerical jobs, working with people who treated her poorly. Her first husband died after six months of marriage and her second committed suicide.

But she just kept growing. At 56, studying nights and weekends, she obtained a college degree, cum laude, from Marymount Manhattan College. She moved to Wilmington, Del., works as a docent, studies opera, hikes, volunteers and does a thousand other things. She acknowledges, “I did not have the joy of holding my baby in my arms. I did not have a long and happy marriage.” But hers is a story of relentless self-expansion. I wonder how we can measure that capacity.

Be aware of the generational bias. Many of the essayists have ambivalent attitudes toward their parents. Almost all have worshipful attitudes toward their children. I’m not sure how to explain this pattern, but I don’t think it’s pure egotism. Many writers mentioned that given their own flaws, they are astounded that their kids turned out so well.

Work within institutions or crafts, not outside them. For a time, our culture celebrated the rebel and the outsider. The most miserable of my correspondents fit this mold. They were forever in revolt against the world and ended up sourly achieving little.

There are other patterns running through the essays. I was struck by the fact that almost nobody mentioned whether or not they were good-looking, though this must have been an important factor, especially when they were young. Many people lament the fact that they had to make the most important decisions in their 20s, at the age when they were least qualified to make them.

People get better at the art of living. By their 60s many contributors found their zone. Metaphysics is dead; very few of the writers hewed to a specific theology or had any definite conception of a divine order, though vague but uplifting spiritual experiences pepper their reflections.

Finally, the essays present disturbing quandaries. For example, we are told to live for others. But one savvy retiree writes, “Don’t stay with people who, over time, grow apart from you. Move on. This means do what you think will make you feel okay — even if that makes others feel temporarily not okay.”

Is that selfishness or hard-earned realism? That one you’ll have to answer for yourself.