Need Advice
TampaMom
Posts: 24
I need advice on how to conquer a naysayer in my own household. I don't always stay on track with what I eat, but I keep trying. This person is my Mother-In-Law who lives with my husband and I. She is a blessing in helping watch our son, but sometimes says negative things about healthy food. My son (1.5 years) loves broccoli which she hates. She will say yuck or stick her tongue out (behind her hand). I hope my son doesn't see or hear this and continues to eat this healthy food. This morning I made a healthy breakfast and she said oh you are eating that again and said it looked disgusting. It was good though! My son who is a picky eater even wanted a few bites. (it was egg beaters with green beans, avocado, and cheese on top) For some reason I couldn't get it out of my mind and the comments just keep circulating. I told my husband and he said he would talk to her, but I feel like I should be able to think of something to say or a way to get those words out of my head.
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don't beat around the bush....have a straight up conversation about this with her.0
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"look here, lady...you don't have to like it, you don't have to like to look at it, you don't even have to like that I eat it or my family eats it....but I want my son to learn to make his own decisions with respect to food and not have his decision influenced by your negative comments and gestures. Thanks..oh, and Love ya".
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lol!
seriously, though, just have an adult conversation with her about your goals for yourself and your family, and you hope that she will be more supportive.0 -
This was my step-mom!!! For a LONG time. We were sitting at dinner one night, that I fixed. It was roasted chicken, wild rice and brussel sprouts. She looked at it and said, "How on earth can you eat brussel sprouts! Those things are nasty!!!" My oldest daughter, who was 9 at the time says, "My mommy has lost 90 pounds eating brussel sprouts, what have you done?"
I haven't heard a word since.0 -
Conflict resolution is an important skill to learn, and guess what, children learn it by watching how YOU deal with conflict. When your MIL starts with these behaviors in front of your child. talk to her in front of the child. Tell her why it is important to open your mind to new experiences and one should not be afraid to try new things, and it would make her a brave person to try healthy and new things (Obviously you are explaining all of this for the sake of the child and are fully aware that your child is witnessing and listening to everything you are saying). I really don't think you will change her attitude or how she approaches things, but this way you provide your child with life lessons that you want him learn. Just my opinion.0
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You need to tell your Mother-in-Law that she needs to practice acting more like Thumper from Bambi "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all". She holds the power to sway your son's eating habits and not for the better. If she doesn't like something fine, but she can learn to keep her opinions to herself, just like any other mature adult does when faced with something they don't like but must live with.0
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You need to tell your Mother-in-Law that she needs to practice acting more like Thumper from Bambi "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all". She holds the power to sway your son's eating habits and not for the better. If she doesn't like something fine, but she can learn to keep her opinions to herself, just like any other mature adult does when faced with something they don't like but must live with.
I would say she MUST learn to keep her opinions to herself.
You and your spouse need to have this conversation with her. Also...what would you prefer to have in your life, meddlesome MIL who doesn't respect you (while living in your home and eating your food) or paid child care? You may have to make that choice.0 -
This was my step-mom!!! For a LONG time. We were sitting at dinner one night, that I fixed. It was roasted chicken, wild rice and brussel sprouts. She looked at it and said, "How on earth can you eat brussel sprouts! Those things are nasty!!!" My oldest daughter, who was 9 at the time says, "My mommy has lost 90 pounds eating brussel sprouts, what have you done?"
I haven't heard a word since.
HAHAHA when kids saying the darndest things works FOR you instead of AGAINST you. I guess it depends on the type of relationship you have with mom in law. Is she the type of person that you can sit down with and say - I'm trying to instill good eating habits in my son so he doesn't ever have to struggle with eating the right things when he's older. I know you don't like some of the stuff we eat, but it would really help if you were supportive. I'm not asking you to eat it. - Some people need the more direct in-your-face approach because "nice adult conversation" doesn't work. In which case you have say - Look I know you think that some of the health food we eat here is disgusting but my health, my son's health and YOUR son's health is important to me. Losing weight and learning how to eat the right things is hard work and I don't want my kid to have to go through that. I'm sorry if having a healthy family is so offensive to you. - This would be a good time to bring up prevention of diabetes, heart disease or any other hereditary health problems that may be avoidable and point out her own weight (if over weight) and health (if unhealthy) as a thing to avoid.
Good Luck!0
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