Anti-diet

witcwhit

So I've never gone on a diet before in my life and there is a reason: Having been raised by a father who firmly believed that dieting in general was unhealthy and shallow and a mother who was very obese and quite vocal about how much she hated her body, I have issues both with fat and with the only way I know to get rid of it. Combine this with life-long digestive issues and you have the recipe for someone who has always been one step away from an eating disorder in terms of my relationship with food - As I said, I've never dieted, but this is due to the fact that I've always feared that I would either fail miserably or develop a full-blown eating disorder, neither of which I want to happen. This was fine for most of my life, when I was skinny and was as happy as any woman ever is with my body, but I gained so much weight in my pregnancy (70 lbs!) and haven't lost a bit of it in the last five years... so now I hate my body (I'm too scared to even get on a scale - I had to guess my starting weight on this site based on my last doctor visit over 2 years ago) and I'm afraid of dieting, but I have to for my physical and emotional well-being... What I'm worried about is that, after only three days of not even doing a particularly good job at keeping my logs on here (I make almost all of my food from scratch and I've been too lazy to record the recipes to get accurate calorie counts so I've been fudging with what's in the database), I already am feeling like this is becoming an obsession that is taking over too much of my life... I want to do this right, so that I can lose the weight and never have to diet again, but I'm seriously worried and could use a bit of support and thoughts from anyone else out there who (maybe?) has similar issues with eating and dieting that I do... How do you keep it (the diet) from taking over your life without just giving up?

Alexdur85

First don't think of it as a diet. This is a life style change. The logging for me is addictive but once I'm down to my goal weight I would have had enough experience of logging my food and "seeing" the calories to say what it is my calorie range to maintain. Just think of it healthy eating not dieting. You will always be on a diet if you eat like you are on a diet. You want to maintain the weight when you are done with all of your hard work.

astrand1800

I think its all about attitude. Decide to be healthy. take the time to put your favorite/ most used recipes in because its important. take an hour to excercise everyday because taking care of yourself this the best thing you can do for your kids. Its worth paying for an hour of daycare if thats what it takes. Think of logging as homework, its teaching yourself to make good choices on food and portion size. Its not a diet it is a choice/lifestyle.

neeks010

I definitely feel where you're coming from! I can't have a set of scales in my house for my own emotional well being, even my partner says the second I have them in the house I weigh myself as often as I can and get obsessed and upset. My weight loss efforts have been about how I feel and how my clothes fit as opposed to a number on a set of scales.
I have been working really hard to change my mindset about the whole situation - as I can be exactly the same way as you. I am telling myself this is not a diet, it's a lifestyle change for the better. I'm finding it really helpful to focus on the other benefits of eating well ie. good skin, energy, not feeling extreme hunger and bursting full. It's important that you don't restrict your calories below the healthy minimum, it doesn't help and more importantly it doesn't make you feel well.
I personally find that where exercising is concerned, find something you love doing. Exercise shouldn't be a chore or something your dread doing, it's about getting yourself moving, dance classes have been great for me, and Zumba. They're both fun, energetic and most importantly, you don't spend the time clock watching.
When you feel low, maybe check out success stories on MFP, it helps me feel motivated, and if you need any support, feel free to message me!

chevy88grl

This isn't a diet. This is a lifestyle change.

A lifestyle change means you can still consume the things you enjoy - you just learn to consume them in smaller amounts. Nothing HAS to be off limits when you are changing your life - unlike when you "diet".

Read labels. Learn what a true serving size is - as a society, we have a pretty screwed up view of a "serving size" because we base it on the large quantities of food they serve us in restaurants. Weigh/measure your foods to insure you are only consuming the recommended serving sizes.

I recommend weighing yourself so you have an accurate idea of where you're starting. Take measurements. Take pictures (you don't have to share them with anyone, but you'll be glad later that you have them to look back on).

You can do this if you really want it. Is it easy? Nope. But it is worth it.

Madison_Jayy

Diet isn't a bad word, i used to think diet meant so many things. But diet is just a different word for control of your food thats all don't let the diet stereotype get to you its all about portion control and what you put into your body.

Eleanorjanethinner

I think you need to think of weightloss as a fairly demanding new hobby to start with - it does take time, there's no way it can't. The 'obsession' bit is in your mind. MFP (or any other programme) does not automatically lead to obsession.

As mentioned, you do get better at it logging- more experienced at guessing and your commonly eaten foods are there. Did you know you can log meals so you can re-use them?

Don't give up after three days - be gentle with yourself and just do for your best of a week or so. You don't start off perfect, but you can slowly improve as you go...

Good luck on your journey - sounds like you've got plenty of baggage to lug along with you - here's to dropping some of it!

taramaureen

That's a very good question. As others have said: don't look at it as a diet. Look at it as a lifestyle. With time, it comes naturally. Your portions will shrink as well as your calories and it will become second nature. Don't look at it as though "I'm going to be doing ____ for ___ long and then, magically, I'll be able to go back to how things were". Because that's not how it works.

Make it a goal to log in twice a week, not everyday at first. In fact, logging your calories every day is not necessary! It's better to do it 3x's/ week if you can't every day to get a more general picture of how you eat. I normally do it when I know I'm having an "off" day and it keeps me on track (like today, when I'm working and fast food is my only option for lunch... yeah knowing I only have ___ ammount left to go will keep me on track the rest of the day).

Also if you're trying to lose weight by diet alone realize that exercise is a large componant of many people's weight loss plans. Even if it's just walking it will help you get those endorphins going and help you feel good about your body.

I like to search the web for a daily inspiration. I to run's facebook profile has a ton of them and I use one of the pictures/ sayings as my mantra for the day. Just one goal, for one day, this day. Take it day by day. You're not going to reach the end of this journey in a month or a week. It's a lifelong thing that will become routine. Start small and don't beat yourself up when you "fail", we'reall human we will all fall off the track in one way or another.

Take it day by day, step by step, and you'll get there!

witcwhit

I appreciate the advice. A couple of people mentioned things like reading labels (even though I mentioned that most of what I eat is home-made - thus no labels) and taking exercise classes and putting my child into daycare for an hour, though, and, honestly, that kind of upset me... The reason I make most of our meals from scratch is that we are the true essence of dirt-poor, a single minor expense away from not being able to keep a roof over our heads pretty much all the time. I can't afford to buy the healthier foods at the grocery store because they're more expensive and I wouldn't be able to afford enough food to feed the whole family because I would have to buy less. I certainly can't afford a gym membership, exercise class/video, or for someone to watch my child while I work out. And it's not about my health being a priority, it's about choosing to be able to pay our rent and electricity each month. I'm upset because I am trying the best I can within an extremely busy and very poor lifestyle and, if this is going to require of me any kind of monetary investment, well, I can make more commitments of time, but not money...

witcwhit

ok, I was in a really bad mood when I wrote the above post and couldn't figure out a way to delete it - sorry for being so bitter... I really do appreciate all of your advice and I like the idea of looking at it more like a general lifestyle change - it'll take some getting used to...

Alexdur85

The library has work out DVD's. Take your little one on a walk with you in a stroller. Check out online about different exercise's you can do (you tube is great!) and incorporate them into your workout while the little one naps. You don't have to have money to lose weight.. you just need to be determined and follow through.

Maryfullofgrace

Number one, you are beautiful and smart. Number two you already are cooking from scratch! You are a lot further ahead than you realize!!!

I am not on a "Diet". I am just measuring out what I eat, and logging the calories, trying to stay within the calorie range as set out by this program. Simple, cheap, don't have to make "separate" food from the rest of the eaters in the house... I've lost 35 pounds doing it this way, I have hopefully 10-15 more to lose. I have no deadlines to lose it. Low stress...

Yes, for a few weeks until you get your "recipes" logged in here it is a bit obsessive, maybe you feel selfish a little too? Well you should. It is selfish in a GOOD WAY to be good to your body so you can live each day the way you want to, not the way you have to. I had that battle for a few months until I realized, "Hey, I am worthy of this and if it is good for me, other people will also know it is good and be patient with me."