Was my boyfriend lying?

Monroe121

I have put on 10 lbs in the course of a year, and he says he hasn't noticed.I don't know if he is trying to not hurt my feelings or what. He noticed that I've lost weight...so clearly he is paying attention.

We critique ourselves way harder and notice the LITTLE things about ourselves. Others won't but will notice the big changes!

SharadaRose

Truth!!

I think men don't worry about how much we weigh like we worry how much we way. If hes happy and he thinks your beautiful hes not going to notice a few pounds. It doesnt matter to him. Sounds like you have a great guy.
And yeah like someone mentioned they notice when we loose weight because we bring it to there attention.

chickybuns

Probably depends where you gained the weight. If your breasts got bigger, he may of noticed, but not complained. When I lost 12 lbs and 13 inches doing Turbo Fire the first thing my husband noticed is that my breasts got smaller....,men

snowbune27

Probably depends where you gained the weight. If your breasts got bigger, he may of noticed, but not complained. When I lost 12 lbs and 13 inches doing Turbo Fire the first thing my husband noticed is that my breasts got smaller....,men

haha! i know ive gained weight when my husband likes my breasts. he goes "oh you look so good lately" translation: "you've gained weight, but i dont notice because all i'm staring at is your tits"

ShrinkRapt451

I gotta agree with the gentlemen here. There is NOTHING wrong with a nice guy who doesn't obsess about your weight as much as you do, loves you for your fabulous self and not your skinny waist, and is honest about this. And you know what? A guy who DOES notice a 10-lb gain, and is willing to tell you, is controlling until proven otherwise.

Do yourself a favor. Stop trying to do the mind-reading thing. Speaking as a woman who's learned her lesson on this one, I can honestly tell you that when you second guess what he says, and assume he must be lying just because it's not what you expected to hear, and then assign motives to him that are based only on your own discomfort, well.... That's relationship sabotage, pure and simple. Nobody wants to be accused of lying when they're being truthful. And the ones who aren't doormats will not stick around for that for long.

So take a deep breath and spend your mental energy figuring out how your BF tells you he loves you. Physical affection? Words? Gifts? Favors (especially when you don't even have to ask)? If he's as good a guy as you say, you'll see it if you look. You work on your 10 lbs with your friends, and leave him out of it. You'll both be happier.

Becca_007

mat
Don't mean to sound rude but does it really matter? Seems like he is happy for you that you lost weight and not commenting on the fact that you gained. Maybe you should just be happy that he is like that?

No, ultimately it is not a big deal, which is why I haven't gotten angry about it. I would just like to know what is going on inside in terms of whether or not he finds me less attractive since I've gained weight.

I bet he could answer that question far better than us.:flowerforyou: Plus what's most important is how you feel about yourself.

MîîśÊmÿłõü

over a whole year i would believe him when he says he didnt notice, my hubby has noticed my boobs are smaller lol..men huh?

Becca_007

He sounds lovely and supportive.
Would you rather he commented on the weight gain and never mentioned the loss?
He no doubt noticed the spring you have in your step now you've lost some weight and how good it makes you feel. Thats all.

He is lovely, which is what worries me. He is TOO nice! I am afraid he wouldn't be honest for fear it might hurt my feelings. The thing is, when I ask a direct question, I want a direct answer...

Anyone else think this has less to do with the 10bs. than issues in the relationship of insecurity and lack of trust etc.?

Rachiepie6

Can totally believe that he didn't notice and also didn't care that you put weight on. My boyfriend didn't say anything about my weight gain over the last 3 years or the loss over the past few months (he works away so I didn't see him for 3 weeks when I lost heaps) really only mentions the change of breast size due to weight loss/gains and the pill lol

KayteeBear

I'd say truth because it is hard to notice if you see the person every day. And 10 pounds isn't always a lot (depending on height and frame)

Shizzman

He sounds lovely and supportive.
Would you rather he commented on the weight gain and never mentioned the loss?
He no doubt noticed the spring you have in your step now you've lost some weight and how good it makes you feel. Thats all.

He is lovely, which is what worries me. He is TOO nice! I am afraid he wouldn't be honest for fear it might hurt my feelings. The thing is, when I ask a direct question, I want a direct answer...

Anyone else think this has less to do with the 10bs. than issues in the relationship of insecurity and lack of trust etc.?

That seems pretty likely...I think she is just worried about things being "too good"