Really? You must be joking O_O

rml_16

You have some pretty rude friends I'd say so. Perhaps you should tell them why it is rude and maybe they will stop. If not then I'd just say ya you are getting pretty fat.

It's rude to think of yourself that you're not happy in your own body just because someone else "wishes" she was your size?

I think it's rude to not allow people to have their own feelings.

It is rude to call your 3 pounds of fat "gross" when talking to someone who is overweight. You can FEEL whatever you want, but you don't have to blab about it.

Like I said in my previous post, MY body image has NOTHING to do with you. That's how she feels about HER body. If the person she's talking to thinks that she's commenting on anything else, that's the problem of the person she's talking to.

I have curly hair. I hear people all the time who also have curly hair talk about how much they hate their hair. Does that mean they hate my hair, too? I guess they're all rude.

Scott613

I complain about t-shirts fitting me all the time. Why do they make the holes in the sleeves so small that you cant get your arms through without having to stretch them?

ElizabethRoad

You have some pretty rude friends I'd say so. Perhaps you should tell them why it is rude and maybe they will stop. If not then I'd just say ya you are getting pretty fat.

It's rude to think of yourself that you're not happy in your own body just because someone else "wishes" she was your size?

I think it's rude to not allow people to have their own feelings.

It is rude to call your 3 pounds of fat "gross" when talking to someone who is overweight. You can FEEL whatever you want, but you don't have to blab about it.

Like I said in my previous post, MY body image has NOTHING to do with you. That's how she feels about HER body. If the person she's talking to thinks that she's commenting on anything else, that's the problem of the person she's talking to.

I have curly hair. I hear people all the time who also have curly hair talk about how much they hate their hair. Does that mean they hate my hair, too? I guess they're all rude.

Look, if you refuse to have any consideration for other people's feelings, that's your issue. But you know very well that a skinny person saying "fat is gross" to a fat person is insulting. If you choose to be an insensitive person who goes around insulting people, then you should own up to it.

rml_16

Like today my 00size coworker said and i quote "omg i need to start working out im getting such a big belly roll i look like an elephant its so gross"

Show me where this person was talking about anyone but herself.

It bugs the crap out of me that if you're thinnner you're not allowed to be unhappy with your body because someone else thinks he or she isn't thin enough. That isn't anything to do with anyone but the individual. She didn't say the OP was gross. She said SHE was gross, and she probably feels that way.

I weighed 110 pounds once. Looking back, I was TINY. At the time? All I wanted more than anything was to be thinner and smaller. I thought I was fat. If you take that personally, sorry. I guess I'm rude.

MzMiller1215

I am guilty of saying similar comments when I was in my early 20s and weighed 102 lbs. But, as someone stated in a previous post, I was skinny fat but, I also had very low self-esteem. So any weight gain that occurred would cause me to freak out. Imagine what happened when I got up to 170 lbs.

Try not to worry about what others think of you (I know, easier said than done) but, seriously, you know what you need to do to be happy with you and focus on that. Tune out your co-worker's comments.

Iamfit4life

It's not always attention seeking. In fact in most cases it probably isn't.
They probably aren't looking at you thinking you are fat, or saying you are fat.
This isn't about you it's about them.


I cannot stand when people say its's just attention seeking.

There are also issues like Body Dysmorpic Disorder in which to them, they really do feel they look fat.

SinIsIn

I usually just look at them in digust and say "OMG... you totally are! Morbidly obese even!" Then role my eyes and smack them. IF they are my friends.. otherwise I just ignore it.

MzMiller1215

I complain about t-shirts fitting me all the time. Why do they make the holes in the sleeves so small that you cant get your arms through without having to stretch them?

:laugh:

Tujitsu56

Check out this link if you want a laugh and some encouragement. I think Kat Williams sums op SELF-ESTEEM quite nicely.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0865482/quotes

Tujitsu56

Okay and this can be said of someone who has 30lbs of excess fat as well. So we all should keep our problems to ourselves then. I'm fine with that, but this won't help those who need motivation. If the OP's friend came on this site, I'd try to encourage her if she went on a rant just as I may try to encourage someone else who has 30lbs extra pounds.

So if you are fatter your deserve more encouragement? I don't think this is the case. Plus, it can get really challenging to loose that last bit of weight in anycase.

You have some pretty rude friends I'd say so. Perhaps you should tell them why it is rude and maybe they will stop. If not then I'd just say ya you are getting pretty fat.

It's rude to think of yourself that you're not happy in your own body just because someone else "wishes" she was your size?

I think it's rude to not allow people to have their own feelings.

It is rude to call your 3 pounds of fat "gross" when talking to someone who is overweight. You can FEEL whatever you want, but you don't have to blab about it.

Iamfit4life

It really gets my goat that she is supposed to keep her thoughts to herself because of your weight, however you have no consideration whatsoever about how she feels and expect her to just "keep it to herself".

MollyDukes

My sister was always obese. She would lose the weight, gain it back and than some. Lose the weight, gain it back some. After 10 years of struggling with her weight, she qualified for the gastric bi-pass. She is disgustingly skinny. I am not saying that to be rude, but it's true. I had more respect and even envy for my sister when she was obese. She was an absolute beauty.

Disgustingly skinny.......she weighs maybe 110-115 (which is too low for her) now, you can see all her bones, the surgery made her look older than she really is and she always looks sick. BUT all she cares about is she looks fat :noway:
We were warned about this.....psychological she believe she is fat. Part of it is because she lost weight faster than her brain can comprehend so when she looks in the mirror she still see's herself as she was before the surgury.
It truely is sad because I fear my sister will kill herself continuing to diet, even though she really should add a few LBS.

I agree with "the nanny story". Maybe pschologically she does feel fat. Even when I was at my lowest....i still had fat days where I didn't feel my clothes fit properly.

stcar

I agree that it's not always attention seeking, everyone has some sort of body issues and thin people can feel fat and/or out of shape. My sister is really really thin naturally, but if she eats poorly for a while, she complains about feeling fat. Of course, as the younger, curvier sister I always tell her to shut it bc she's skinny. But deep down I realize that people are people and can have insecurities and I would never, ever think she's trying to make me feel bad or looking for attention. She is the last person in the world who looks for attention and is the farthest thing from superficial.

sinobaako82

i know how that feels.. it makes me so mad sometimes.


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Tujitsu56

I have a friend that has a sixpack and will start to talk about getting fat all the time. He may be playing to a certain extent, but I actually noticed what he was talking about once I got my weight down. He is gonna notice it quickly because it's his body. He knows what he wants to look like. I would always tell him to shut up, but he'd workout a little more and loose the weight again. So thinking back, he was serious.

Once you all get the bodies you want, if you gain anyweight back, I'm sure you will then know where this 3lb overweight person is coming from. You will then understand her perspective and probably seek advice or talk about the extra weight you have. Just because someone is skinnier doesn't mean they no longer have freedom of speech, lol.

rml_16

I'll also point out that as little as 5 pounds makes a difference in whether my clothes fit. So, yeah, a 3-pound gain could make my pants so tight I can't breathe.

Sarahbara76

The media tries to convince us that we are never skinny enough. Unless we look like models on a runway, we are not skinny enough. (And then the industry convinces the models themselves that THEY arn't skinny enough.) So yeah, she could be seeking for attention, but I think it's even sadder if she actually believes it, and she actually might.

I was going to say about the same thing..tiny people feel pressure to be even smaller ..if a Celb gains a pound it's all over the papers saying they are a cow..whatever!!

Tujitsu56

Usually I try to tell people not to worry about lbs as it could be water or other factors. You weight can fluctuate, but the OP made me think that her Co-worker actually gained fat in that she was referring to her belly roll or something. This could be serious for the co-worker and not water weight. It may not be so easy to loose either. I feel sorry for the co-worker to tell the truth and hope she can get back to form.

I'll also point out that as little as 5 pounds makes a difference in whether my clothes fit. So, yeah, a 3-pound gain could make my pants so tight I can't breathe.

Sarahbara76

It's not always attention seeking. In fact in most cases it probably isn't.
They probably aren't looking at you thinking you are fat, or saying you are fat.
This isn't about you it's about them.


I cannot stand when people say its's just attention seeking.

There are also issues like Body Dysmorpic Disorder in which to them, they really do feel they look fat.

if I had a nickel for every time I tried to explain this to my friends I do suffer from BDD after being anorexic it's still a problem I see pictures of me and I think I look thin and I explain it away "It's the angle I took the picture at " or "My camera always makes me look thin when I hold it that way "
I know I am not overweight but a few pounds keep me from wearing some of my favorite things ..

i_love_vinegar

im the lowest weight ive ever been...due to diet and exercise...and i still feel fat. its hard to tell i lost weight, which is why my goal weight continues to go down. obviously there is a point where if i still feel fat seeing something like 75 pounds on the scale, ill have to turn myself in for a mental evaluation.

as one person said, 5 pounds can make a difference...it doesnt for me haha (ive worn the same clothing from 124 pounds till now at 95...yes, i am incredibly short)...but this seems to be the case for some...so that is a good point ^^

as i said, i am the lowest weight i have ever been (at this height...so since i was 12). i used to always be 100-105 pounds. then i went through a lot of stuff and became an emotional eater. in around 4 months time (5,000+ calories per day), i went up to 124. i decided to get back down to 105 after developing health problems...through the journey of going back to my original weight, i became more conscious of my physical appearance...i realized when i hit 105 pounds that i was never really that thin....i just never cared before...until the diet. for the first time in my life, i judged my body...i noticed the fat around my waist...and arms and legs...

even at my lowest weight, since noticing and wanting to care more for my body...i notice the fat...

i try not to complain about my weight in real life because i am scared of offending ppl and having people insult my decisions...
but when i think about how fat i am, i compare myself to the skinny girls...they are the only girls who i care about physically as i see them as inspirational...but i do not care if my friends are overweight (unless it is a sudden gain or causing health problems or they want to lose weight and want my support).

i think we are our harshest critics...if someone is healthy we will usually say/think, "They look fine!"...but that is because we arent that person, so them being a little better looking/healthier usually isnt a concern to us. its hard for me to explain my feelings...but i would not let your friends words get to you...^^