Weight Loss Sabotagers- How to deal with THEM

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  • WifeMomDVM
    WifeMomDVM Posts: 1,025 Member
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    Ughhhh I hate these people! I think everyone has these people on their life and most of the negativity I have found has come from friends and even family members. I think it's basically them feeling guilty about their habits or weight and take it out on us for having the strength to achieve our goals! There's isn't much you can say to get through to these people cause they would most likely deny if you upfront tell them what they are doing... I've just learnt to let it go and take it as my motivation to prove everyone wrong that I am strong and I will reach my weight and fitness goals! Good luck x

    Yes, this.
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    It's not paranoia if everyone's out to get you...

    Seriously, these threads pop up all the time, and I gotta say, it's kinda scary. People offer you dessert and you immediately jump to the conclusion that they want to see you fail, rather than wanting to share something they think is delicious with you?

    And of course, the responses, "they're just jealous," "they're just dumping their insecurities on you!" Wouldn't it be you that's insecure for automatically insisting that anybody that says something that isn't flowing praise is completely evil and determined to see you fail? Not everyone is out to make you fail. The average person isn't sitting there, twirling their moustache, thinking "haha! Watch me force this girl to eat a donut so she can balloon right up and get fat again!" I'd find it more rude for someone to bring food to work and intentionally not offer me any.

    [/end rant]
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
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    tiger, I'm so with you. When I read about people thinking their loved ones are sabotaging them I have a pang because they actually have someone in their lives who cares enough to nurture them. Nurturing with food is something they have probably always done and it will be quite a difficult transition to recognise the way things have always been has changed.

    Because I am on a plan that delivers the food I eat I say "no I can't eat anything that doesn't come in a little plastic bag", not entirely true but it gets people off my back.

    GG
  • PinkSouljah
    PinkSouljah Posts: 26
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    :happy:
  • PinkSouljah
    PinkSouljah Posts: 26
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    Tiger: I believe you found my post under the forum "motivation and support"- I dont find your comment motivating OR supportive but thanks for spending a few minutes of your time on ME :)
  • ansinclair8
    ansinclair8 Posts: 24 Member
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    This is something I have been dealing with. Most of my family is amazing, but I have some good friends whom have been negative (sometimes I think unknowingly). The other day it was my sis-in-laws bday and my boss kept trying to get me to have just one piece of cake. I said I already had one bad meal this week, so I don't need nor want it. Still the rest of the day she kept commenting on how I should have one piece or cracking jokes about how she was going to have a piece of cake while I ate my healthy lunch. I have had two people tell me I was obsessive about my diet. I told them I'm not dieting, I'm changing the way I live my life. And that was answered with a smirk and a "No you're dieting." It's frustrating to have those you love either knock you down or not understand and I'm realizing that nothing I say will change their behavior. I just need to ignore it and continue on my journey. In the end, the results will be what shuts their mouths :)
  • iamthevieve
    iamthevieve Posts: 107
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    You know, I used to be one of those saboteurs. It wasn't out of jealousy or anything. I just didn't understand. I was blessed with a high metabolism. Then I got pregnant with my son and it disappeared. Now I have to watch what and how much I eat or I gain weight like a bear getting ready for hibernation.

    I also happen to have a passion for good (ie fatty, sugary and/or salty) food. I enjoyed sharing that passion with others, especially when I tried a new recipe and someone refused to taste it, I got mildly offended.
  • ansinclair8
    ansinclair8 Posts: 24 Member
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    To the ladies with a spouse the reason you're getting no support from him is because the idea that you are losing weight to one day leave him. Recent studies has supported this theory. Also some men prefer large women and don't be surprise if his affection towards you changes.


    Suggest you have a sit down with your partner and have a nice talk.


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    [/quote
    If you are married to the person you are supposed to be with than the loss of weight shouldn't change the affection that is showed. Your husband should love you and treat you the same no matter what size you are. He should be supportive of the fact that you are trying to make yourself healthier so that you guys can live a longer life together. The only thing I agree with in this post I quoted is that the ladies should have a sit down with their spouse and explain why they are changing their lifestyle... for their family.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
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    The issue at hand is when your loved ones and friends DONT LISTEN, feel the need to push that food on you despite the fact you have stated 'no thank you' and dont stop or the ones who are truly nasty with you.

    Its rude not to listen to a person who says "no thank you" and think its ok to continue pushing the food. Ive left my individual family's houses when they kept pushing the food! They are all of the 'finish your plate' generation - and most have serious medical conditions that they willingly choose to ignore, dont care about other people, and are so damn sensitive that no matter what you say or do, they keep pushing. When they finally come around to calling me back and asking if Im ok after the night I left, Im BRUTALLY honest with them....friends OR family....

    Thats why being subtle doesnt do any good (at least for my situation).... I have to tell-it-like-it-is when they dont accept "no thank you" as my final response because they truly DONT care.

    Nuturing would be someone that DID care, and understood that its nothing personal against them if we turn down their junk food, or an extra portion of food, or what not.

    If that person accepts the first response of "no thank you" and leaves it alone for you to decide, THAT is how it should be.

    If that person continues to push that food, even after you saying "no thank you", THAT person is WRONG, no ifs ands or buts...
  • teagin2002
    teagin2002 Posts: 1,901 Member
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    To the ladies with a spouse the reason you're getting no support from him is because the idea that you are losing weight to one day leave him. Recent studies has supported this theory. Also some men prefer large women and don't be surprise if his affection towards you changes.

    Suggest you have a sit down with your partner and have a nice talk.

    In my case he was having nightmares of me leaving him or forcing him to eat veggies he doesn't like lol (he never admitted this till a week and a half ago). It took him a while to come around after reaching my goal, but now he is proud of me and wants me to help him loose weight too.

    Good luck to all!
  • tigersword
    tigersword Posts: 8,059 Member
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    Tiger: I believe you found my post under the forum "motivation and support"- I dont find your comment motivating OR supportive but thanks for spending a few minutes of your time on ME :)

    Support does not equal coddling. I believe in supporting people. Y telling them what they need to hear, not just what they want to hear.

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