First Half Marathon: Question

sc1572

Hello, MFP!

In January of 2012 I will be doing my first half marathon for charity, and am so, SO, excited! Tomorrow marks 40 days until the big day, and I can't wait! My best friend signed up to do it with me, which leads me to my question...

All senior year we would walk at a park a couple times a week after rehearsal, and would do anywhere from 1.5-4.5 miles. That was the only exercise she did besides random gymnastics, and I did this along with the gym. Ever since I found out in June that I was accepted to race, I have been training. Even when I registered for the lottery drawing in Feb/March, I stepped up my exercise and diet routine incase I was picked. Since then, I've become dedicated to my goal of reaching $1,000 for the animal shelter, which I met, and doing the race in 3 hours. I just completed my first 5K this weekend with 27:45, and have another 5K this coming weekend. I workout everyday, and almost always it is 60-70 minutes, plus random days I do weights/strength training. If I take a rest day, I am always back on track.

Well, this morning I texted my friend and mentioned that tomorrow was 40 days and asked if she could believe it was so close. Her response: "Omg, don't remind me. Is it too late to start training? Lol I'll start training today, I've just been so busy so yeah." Now, we are both students except she is taking 12 hours, I have 15, she works a couple of days a week, I volunteer a couple days a week, she has a boyfriend, I do not. I understand she's busy, but so is everyone else who does the race. It just makes me mad because she always complains to me how her boyfriend takes up too much of her time, and then she tells me she hasn't been taking this seriously, and had to drop a class. And this summer, she had one class twice a week, and I had one class four days a week, had a job, and did training...even with an injury. Over Thanksgiving she also told me it had been a couple weeks since she exercised.

I don't mean to come off rude...but is it wrong on race day to start out with her and then if she decides to slow down or walk, keep going at my pace? I don't want to leave her, but at the same time, I have worked so hard for this and want to reach my goal for me and the shelter, as well as everyone else who has helped me through this journey. My mom agrees, as well as another close friend. And besides, I think my step mom did the same with her friend during her first half.

What are your opinions?

B3Streeter

you do not need to stay with her, especially if she beomes tired and starts to get negative in the race, you dont need any negative thoughts and you have worked hard and put in the time. Go out there and kick some butt!

AZKristi

It's called a race for a reason. If she can't keep up I don't see why you should let that stop you from doing your best.

Flyntiggr

I 'ran' a half with my best friend a few weeks ago. I, like you, busted my *kitten* training for it for 14 weeks leading up to race day. She ran MAYBE six or seven training runs before race day. WE started together and then broke off. I got a blister at mile 8 on my foot. So, not only did she train LESS than me, she beat me. Worry about yourself and not your friend. You might get surprised - like I did....

sharonsjones

I would just worry about myself and not your friend. You can start off with her and if she keeps up great! but if she can't keep up I would leave her. You busted your butt training to meet your goal of 3hours and if you wait for her then why did you train so hard? Just my opinion. Good luck!

Louloubelpe07

My gf and I run together all the time...my pace is faster than hers...at the start of each race as I'm putting my ear buds in I wish her luck and say: see you at the end! No hard feelings on either side...but our communication is very open and we both are supportive of each other. Sit down and tell her how you feel...I'm sure she will understand.

JoyousRen

I've always done races on my own so I'm definitely not an expert but, in my opinion, if you signed up together, you may want to make it clear prior to the race that you want to do your best and you'll see her at the finish line.

rmdaly

I have done a number of half-marathons and even though I train with others, I like to run my own race. I suggest that you talk to your friend when race-day nears and just tell her that you want to run on your own and with your own thoughts. It sounds like you have been doing a lot of the training by yourself so you might tell her that you are used to running alone now and want to continue for the race. It also could be a way to save the friendship.

Congratulations on keeping up with the training! You are really doing a great job with this. Be proud of your accomplishments. It's too bad that your friend turned out to be a bit of a slacker, despite her excuses, but you are going to run into people like that all your life. Find another group that has similar goals as yours and you will find friends to go with you.

Good luck!

stingrayinfl

You need to train some together. In my case, I have ran a half, 10 miler, 10k with my wife. We finish at the same time. You talk about stress on a marriage, try running a half with your spouse.

cel32402

While I haven't done a half-marathon, I've done a few charity 5Ks with friends and we almost never stay together while running. It's more of a hanging out at the start and meeting up again at the finish. I was never offended running on my own (usually I was the slow one!) It's hard to find people who will always be able to run at the same pace as you. I think if you just let her know before the race in a casual way that you will each probably be running at your own speed, it should be fine!

Midnightsun04

Does your friend know how hard you've been working? I would mention to her your goal time, this way if you feel the need to leave her, then you can do so with the 'excuse' to make your goal time.

nuttyfamily

You can always 'lose' her.

In all honesty, I'd just be frank and say, hey, let's agree to run our own race. I did that with a friend on our first 10k and it worked out great.

mznisaelaine

As I already have witnessed, you are such a hard worker!! I admire that about you!

First, talk to her. Tell her how you feel, and tell her your goals. This will allow her to understand your purpose for this race. She will understand, but it is best that you communicate with her. In this way, she can already have a heads up that when the day comes for this race, you will run it hard! (Which would imply that you may leave her)

This is for you! I say continue to train for it! You will do really well I am sure of it. She will understand...A real friend always understand.

kcgslp

LEAVE HER! As much as we love to have friends for encouragement the truth is RUNNING IS NOT A TEAM SPORT! You have goals you want to reach which are obviously different from hers.

Your goal is finish in 3 hours...hers ....finish.

Just as it would be terrible of you to get in her way and somehow stop her from finishing, it would be just as terrible for her to stop you from finishing in 3 hours.

Do what you need to do for you! and Good Luck

Misiaxcore

This is why I don't do any exercise activities with friends. I like to keep at my own pace. I find if I have a workout buddy then they slow me down.

sjtreely

You run your own race. In the event you finish before she does and you want to and it's okay with your friend, you can go back on the course and run the last few miles with her. I wouldn't cross the finish line again ... let it be her time to shine, too.

We're all on different journeys. Racing may not be her goal. She may very well be content with just crossing the finish line - an admirable goal in itself. But by all means, if you want to race, then race.

sm423

Just talk to her beforehand. Let her know how much you've been training and how much this race means to you. If she is your friend, she will understand. I am a slow runner, so when I race with friends I always tell them, if you have to leave me it's ok. I'll see you at the end. Sometimes just knowing you are in a race with someone is comforting, doesn't mean you have to run side by side the whole time or even finish the race together...Good luck to you!!

Usbornegal

One of the sweetest things I have seen while racing is when friends who finish first come back to find their friend and help them get to the end. Sounds like she'll need the encouragement. If she hasn't been doing the prep work and sin't paying attention to her health make sure you encourage her to hydrate so she doesn't collapse at the end.

annes656192

My running partners and I always have a clear understanding that we are running our race. We may start together, but we don't end together and we are ok with that. If your friend has trained with you she should completely understand as everybody's levels of endurance are different no matter how long you have trained.