He fell off the wagon.....................Hard

memaw66

My husband was doing so well and lost almost 20lbs just since Jan5, but he has fallen off the "life style change" wagon and he has fallen HARD! I don't know what to do to get him back on there. Now he wants to go out to eat all the time and he does not order healthy. I have been eating lots of salads because we keep going out to eat and that is the healthiest I can do at the places he likes. What is a girl to do? I have asked him if he plans on getting back on the wagon and he says yes while he is eating a plate of enchiladas!! I tell him he fell hard and he basically told me to quit nagging about it although he didn't use those exact words! I'm so afraid that I too will give in if he keeps this up!!

HELP!!!!

Memaw

memaw66

My husband was doing so well and lost almost 20lbs just since Jan5, but he has fallen off the "life style change" wagon and he has fallen HARD! I don't know what to do to get him back on there. Now he wants to go out to eat all the time and he does not order healthy. I have been eating lots of salads because we keep going out to eat and that is the healthiest I can do at the places he likes. What is a girl to do? I have asked him if he plans on getting back on the wagon and he says yes while he is eating a plate of enchiladas!! I tell him he fell hard and he basically told me to quit nagging about it although he didn't use those exact words! I'm so afraid that I too will give in if he keeps this up!!

HELP!!!!

Memaw

TudorRose

Maybe explain that to him. Tell him he's free to eat as he pleases, but to keep it healthy around you. You can't change what he does for himself, but hopefully he'll respect that you're still on the wagon and don't need tempting down. And maybe it'll even spur him to get back on.

MissResa

I'd try to get him back on track by leading by example... If he wants to go out and eat, tell him that you're going to have something healthy for dinner at home... But he's free to go if he really wants to. If you're making a family meal, try to make one that's a low calorie version of something he likes... My husband and I struggle with this sometimes, because I make one meal for our kids, and then the adult, healthy meal that they won't eat(usually because there are onions or peppers in them). If he wants something other than what I make, then he's more than welcome to do it. But I'm not making a third meal just because he wants something other than what I've already made him. Most of the time, he's too much of a bum to fix something different!!!:laugh:

MissResa

I didn't post quickly enough... TudorRose said exactly what I was trying to say!!!:flowerforyou:

sassiebritches

I agree with these 2......my honey eats what I make and if he is hungry after he goes and makes a cup o noodles or hotdog or something.....he does not need to lose any weight and is in fairly good shape other then smoking, but I told him this is my job and its important....he agrees that he feels better, he picks the meals we eat and I create it healthy.......He says I want a burger and fries I translate that to turkey burgers with mushrooms and laughing cow cheese with the works on his (dry for me) and sugar snap pea fries........he laughs at me when the plate comes....tells me you know how I love these sugar snap fries baby! I also feed him a bit different in cals. If I have 3 tacos he has 4, if I have 1 chicken breast he gets 1.5......I just think you need to make the choice for him and he either does or he cooks his own?

My 200 cents.......

:flowerforyou:

awestfall

Memaw my husband is the same way when it comes to dieting .Basically my husband has just gotten to the point he doesn't care anymore.I am hoping I can get hm back to wanting to lose the weight because his health is really suffering for all the weight he carries around,but its like everyone else has already said its his choice and you can't force him to do something he doesn't want.But if your like me you worry about your significant others health.

memaw66

I do make the lighter healthier dinners for both of us and I pack his lunch and cook his breakfast. We have healthy snacks but he eats like 4 or 5 at a time, thus making it just as fattening. I don't know what he does during the day when I'm not with him. I don't want to keep nagging and just pushing him away. I know he can do it, he's done it before. I will just have to continue as I'm doing and make good choices for myself even if he is not. Maybe once he sees my success he will want to jump back on, at least that's what I am hoping for. Thanks guys! I knew I could count on you!!!

Memaw

sarabear

My DH has one of those metabolisms that he can eat what he wants and goes to the gym and still looses:grumble: I know that he orders out at work, but at home EVERYONE, kids and DH, eat what I make for dinner. I don't think it's a good idea to please the kids with something they like, if they are hungry, they will eat. Yes once in a while I'll make them grilled cheese, but it has whole grain bread, fat free/low cal cheese, ff mayo, and I use the spray butter flavored pam for the outside. Everything can be made low cal, I just made them get used to it. Like everyone said, if he wants to get junk for dinner let him go alone, I know he won't go alone, so be prepared with something at home! Good Luck!

thejarviclan

Memaw! (I have a Memaw myself! )

I have a similar problem. My husband just doesn't watch what he eats and we eat out a LOT. I've just had to pattern myself according to which restaurant we choose. If it's Mexican I will eat what I like, but only HALF of it! And I place the chips and salsa on my bread plate so I know exactly how many I've eaten. If it's a place that has salads, I will try to stick to those with a light dressing and maybe add a plain baked potato or a cup of soup or chili.

Your husband may not jump back on the bandwagon for a while but if he's constantly watching your GOOD example, he may jump sooner!

You can do this without him! After a while you'll look at his plate and not even WANT what he's eating!

memaw66

I don't want what he's eating, in fact, right now it kind of repulses me. Is that mean? I was watching him eat a big mexican plate while I ate my chicken taco salad, no cheese, I did not eat the shell and it was making my stomach hurt just seeing what he was eating. Last night we went to IHOP and he had bacon, sausage, eggs, pancakes and I had 1/2 of my omlette and I was disgusted with what he had on his plate!!!! So at least I am not wanting what he is eating YET!! Today, I was thinking about what to have for lunch and I thought of going to Sonic for a cheeseburger and that grossed me out. I used to eat a double cheese burger nearly every day, or at least twice a week and now the thought of one grosses me out. Isn't that weird? So I went to Wendy's and got a chili instead. And that filled me up!!

I just worry about him, he is already big and I just see that giant heart attack on his plate!!!!

heather0mc

i feel bad that all of you have to watch someone you care for eating so terribly. breaks my heart because i know it must be a constant struggle. :brokenheart:

i dont have much to offer, but i think sticking to it and cooking healthier is huge. i think they will see your success and want to make changes. if not, the guys might have something more serious going on and a different conversation might need to be had - like getting a check up at the doc to see what is really going on.

my BF constantly tells me is he proud of what i am doing. we are long distance and i think if he were here he would make healthier choices too, but that is simply wishful thinking.

havingitall

You can't make him change his ways and reminding him ( nagging) will only annoy him and cause problems.

All you can do is continue to eat healthily and get grossed out by the nasty food taht did us in originally.

Hopefully, he will see your successes and be inspried by that.

I am having the same problem with my 16 year old daughter. My husband and I are doing this together and she has gone to stay with her Dad for a couple of months. I think this is because we are implementing changes in the home. Her Dad buys chips, chocolate and processed dinners all the time. He does not cook and he weighs around 400 lbs. I can't force her to eat right but I can lead by example.

heather0mc

He does not cook and he weighs around 400 lbs. I can't force her to eat right but I can lead by example.

that must be so very frustrating!

havingitall

He does not cook and he weighs around 400 lbs. I can't force her to eat right but I can lead by example.

that must be so very frustrating!

Incredibly frustrating. She has been ill while she has been there. No wonder with a diet like that

heather0mc

He does not cook and he weighs around 400 lbs. I can't force her to eat right but I can lead by example.

that must be so very frustrating!

Incredibly frustrating. She has been ill while she has been there. No wonder with a diet like that

hopefully she will pull thru it and see the light. 16 is such a weird age and its not easy. i could understand the need for the 'easy way out'. best of luck to you all! :flowerforyou:

TudorRose

My dad used to do that- let me eat what I wanted when I stayed over. And whilst my mum was never strict about food, she's a terrible example and verges on the anorexic at times. Your daughter is lucky to have a parent who's got the right balance. You're being a good role model to your daughter by eating healthily and she'll come round soon enough no doubt, once the luxury has worn off.

MissResa

I know that he orders out at work, but at home EVERYONE, kids and DH, eat what I make for dinner. I don't think it's a good idea to please the kids with something they like, if they are hungry, they will eat.

One thing that I dislike about posting is that I can't tell what type of tone people are writing in... I don't ALWAYS make something different for my kids to eat, but if I have something that is really spicy(which my husband and I love) or something that is loaded with veggies that I know the kids don't like, I will alter the recipe or make them something else that is healthy and more to their tastes... I wouldn't force a grown up to eat something that they couldn't handle or didn't like and don't think it's fair to my kids, either, but that doesn't mean that I make them junk while we eat healthy...