What do you guys think?

age1389

My three year old takes swimming lessons since Nov. she goes twice a week for 45 min. and she likes it only she doesn't like putting her head under water. So that makes her scared and she won't do some things that the teacher asks her do cause she knows she will go under water. The teacher knows she doesn't like going under but still makes her do it. So the class has become stressful for me and a little for my daughter as well.
My question is should I tell the teacher to not put her under anymore or do I just let the teacher keep doing what she is doing?
My only concern is I worry that this will make my daughter not want to be in the water anymore. As it is she cries when they do jumps or just plain refuses to do it.
What do I do?

age1389

My three year old takes swimming lessons since Nov. she goes twice a week for 45 min. and she likes it only she doesn't like putting her head under water. So that makes her scared and she won't do some things that the teacher asks her do cause she knows she will go under water. The teacher knows she doesn't like going under but still makes her do it. So the class has become stressful for me and a little for my daughter as well.
My question is should I tell the teacher to not put her under anymore or do I just let the teacher keep doing what she is doing?
My only concern is I worry that this will make my daughter not want to be in the water anymore. As it is she cries when they do jumps or just plain refuses to do it.
What do I do?

ChubbyBunny

OH! My daughter had this issue last year in her swimming class (She's 5 though).
If the teacher is good, she won't force her to do it until she is ready.
My daughter is still timid about it, but eventually she built up the courage to do it on somethings.
She HATED jumping in....so she would take it in baby steps.... sitting on the edge with the teacher catching her, to jumping off the edge being caught by the teacher.... all the time her head stays above the water for the most part. They did a lot of practice with the diving rings....to get them used to putting their faces under...

I would bring it up with the teacher, I mean you are paying her to teach your daughter, not traumatize her.

Poison5119

Personally, I would have the teacher back off. My oldest son never liked going underwater, and it took him until he was 14 before he would even consider it, but I think it's because I didn't press him that he finally did

I would be concerned for the future with your daughter. If going underwater is a requirement, I'd withdraw her. Swimming should be fun, not torture. Just my 2 cents.

Tailea

Definitely tell the teacher that you don't feel she is ready to go under. I've coached swimming in the past (at the Y and for the special olympics) and it can definitely scar her to force her to go under before she is ready to do it.

heather0mc

dont know how old she is but there is no way i would agree to forcing her to do it. i dont have kids but em ex-BF has a little girl (wow, 13 now!). when she was about 6-7 she was a little doggie paddlier and would NOT go near the deeper water.
the following summer, she was a complete fish! once she got past her fears, you could keep her out of the pool.
take baby steps with her and eventually she will do ok. maybe another swim teacher would be better? one that doesnt force kids to do things they are not comfortable with.

MyaPapaya75

Tough call..I know she wont be able to learn to swim until she does put her head underwater...instead of asking the teacher to alter her way of teaching ..I would just pull my child from the class for a few weeks and take her into the pool myself for a more relaxed and stress free environment....and then after a few weeks go by I would put her back in class and see how it goes...sometimes kids just need free time and play...I remember when I was a Nanny the 2yr old went to the potty so he took off his floaties..well when he came running back out of the bathroom he forgot about the floaties being off and jumped in the pool ...I was right there and remained calm and coaxed him from that day forward there was no floaties and he could swim.....Im sure she will be excited to show you everything she has learned in class...plus by watching u go underwater she will be encouraged to do so because she trusts you

Tailea

I know she wont be able to learn to swim until she does put her head underwater.

This is not necessarily true. She won't be able to do any fancy strokes or swim competitively, but she could very well be able to swim well enough to go to the pool or the beach and be comfortable in the water. My fiance is 24 years old and he won't put his head in the water, but he can swim just fine.

wilted6orchid

After years of working with children I have realized one law. Whatever you decide to do you have to do together. If the teacher makes her go under and you are not with her on it...it will hurt more than it helps. If you are visibly not together or make comments, your daughter will pick up on them and it won't help. If you are firm about it and agree with the teacher, which I didn't get from your post, it won't scar her to do something she is afraid of, especially if you are encouraging her all along the way. If you are just to uncomfortable making her do this than the teacher should side with you. You are the client after all. So just remember this, whatever you do, you have to completely be together.

P.S. If the teacher gives you a hard time. Pull her and ask for a refund. She is being hired by you after all.

Zara11

Oh, I was that child. I eventually quit and found another sport (or five) I liked better. But my teachers didn't pressure me, and it just took a few years before I was ready. Of course, watching the other children do it may be enough encouragement.

age1389

After years of working with children I have realized one law. Whatever you decide to do you have to do together. If the teacher makes her go under and you are not with her on it...it will hurt more than it helps. If you are visibly not together or make comments, your daughter will pick up on them and it won't help. If you are firm about it and agree with the teacher, which I didn't get from your post, it won't scar her to do something she is afraid of, especially if you are encouraging her all along the way. If you are just to uncomfortable making her do this than the teacher should side with you. You are the client after all. So just remember this, whatever you do, you have to completely be together.

This has been happening since Jan. and I've tried to just go with what the teacher is doing but I can't help but feel this isnt the right way to do it. Especially since I don't push her into new things like potty training and using the pedals on her trike cause I know what works for her (which she does both now)


Thanks eveyone your comments are what I was thinking.

dothompson

She will get past this. Have her keep at it. Let the teacher know that she's having trouble then, let the teacher teach. If you pull her out of lessons or not make her do what's uncomfortable she will be more afraid next time and not learn to overcome fears.

She's in a safe controlled environment and she needs to learn the absolute joy of overcoming her fears. To do otherwise is harmful. Encouraging her to do try things is good for her.

If this is stressful ,have her dad take her to lessons. We men are better about the adventure, try new things part of growing up.

mburris

The teacher should not force her to put her head under. With that, if you can, leave you daughter with the teacher. I have always found that my daughter did so much better when I was not around. The coach should encourage her to put her head under, but not force her. My daughter was in swimming lessons from 2 years to 5 years. She only put her head under when she turned 4. Her swimming teacher told me that 4 was the magical age for most of her kids.

jim_weldon

heather0mc is right - she will grow out of it. I was a major swimmer when I was young - then went through a period from about age 7 - 10 where I wouldn't get my face in the water (dog paddleing everywhere).

I don't think the instructor is overly aggressive - though you have to be the judge there.

When my sons were small & I gave them baths - I ALWAYS poured water over their heads to wash them. I wanted them to be comfortable that the water would not hurt their eyes - nor would it choke them. I told them to just rub the water off their face with their hands. We progressed to timing how long they could hold their breath. In the pool - finding rings on the bottom was the proving ground for underwater swimming. I always make learning a game and I always include 'tests' during games.