my father's relapse

daniface

So here's a fun fact about me and my family, my dad is an alcoholic. For the first part of my childhood he was not around, or he was drunk. When I was 15 he lost his license and my mom was going to leave him. Things got better after that, probably becuase he hit rock bottom. He has not abused now for over 10 years and I am so proud of him for that. Last night my little sister who is 16 years old now, who hasn’t ever known, or can remember this side of our dad called me last night telling me that she and my mom found my dad, drunk, passed out in his car when they got home last night. Why after 10 years would someone relapse into old habits? I’m disappointed in him and worried about what this means. Is this going to be a new pattern for him?? Is my sister going to have to live with a drunk dad, like I did? I was so hoping and convinced that she would get away with not having to live through that. She’s been texting me all day about what to say to him and how she’s upset with him. I understand well what she’s feeling. I held a lot of bad feelings towards my father for many years because of his foolish choices. I was mad at him for so long. It wasn’t until a few years ago I decided to let it all go because it just wasn’t worth hanging onto. He’s my father, and a good person for the most part and hes the only one I got. I love him. I keep trying to explain to my sister that he made a mistake and slipped up, everyone does from time to time. I keep encouraging her to forgive him and let him know how seeing him like that last night made her feel. I Don’t know what else to tell her and i find myself today feeling stressed out and overeating. Emotionally eating, trying to comfort myself. thats what i tottally did during my childhood, i see it so clearly now. stuffing my face unable to articulate my emotions, feeding embarassment and disappointment. At 25 i can finally aknowledge what im doing but damn, i just cant believe how greatly my father's actions last night are really affecting me today.

i guess i just wanted to vent, if anyone has any thoughts, please share.

blink1021

I can't say I know what your going through, but I can say to try to focus your energy onto your sister instead of the refrigerator. I too am an emotional eater and when I have an argument with my husband I find myself wanting to raid the cupboards. The only person you are hurting is yourself not them. Try to help your mom and sister help your dad if he wants it. He can start over again if he really wants his family to stay together help him get the tools he needs to start the road to recovery again. Good luck.

Hayesgang

Did your father attend AA?? If so, he needs to get to his homegroup or call his sponsor, if he hasn't maybe he can go to a meeting. What made him stop in the first place was it for the family or for himself becasause he knew he had a problem with alcohol.

Alcoholism is a family dis-ease!! It is said that you are planning your slip well before you take that next drink.

You need to realize this has nothing to do with you or your sister - Your father is sick and needs help but he is the only one that can do anything about it. The only advice I can offer you is to pray that he gets the help he needs.

EDIT: What I know 1st hand about addiction whether it be alcohol or food is that it just something to cover up feelings we are too scared to deal with so we push them down with food, alcohol whatever. It is coming to terms with these emotions and feelings that will get us and keep us out of that circle of addiction.

cmriverside

It sometimes takes someone else's problems to help us see our own. You've made a connection now betweeen your food and your emotions. It's likely that is the same compulsion that leads your dad to drinking.

I hope you find compassion for your dad and for yourself.

((hugs)) .....it will be okay.