im fat and my fiancee is too skinny

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ranmca
ranmca Posts: 121 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
so ive been using mfp for 2 weeks and 1 day now...lost around 6 ibs...but guess what? the meals im making for myself my hubby is also eating, so the extremely skinny fiancee of mine has dropped 8 ibs and weighs about as much as my little sister. today i ate way over my calorie goal because i felt like i owed my fiancee a more calorie dense meal. its so frustrating. i dont want to cook 2 meals, and he doesnt want to eat more...what the heck am i going to do
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  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
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    A lot of it is portion control. I still make the same types of meals I would have made before...some healthy of course like chicken and pork, but I still make hamburger helper, macaroni, spaghetti. I just eat less of it and my husband eats more.
  • Elleinnz
    Elleinnz Posts: 1,661 Member
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    When I was visiting my dad (who needs to pick up weight) I used to add some cheese, olives, etc to his meals that I would not add to mine....also give him more carbs (starch), bigger portion of the protein.....and then some treats (chocolate, ice cream) if you can handle it....
  • AmandaJoi25
    AmandaJoi25 Posts: 50
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    Would he be okay with adding a high calorie dessert at the end of the day?
  • appleseeds
    appleseeds Posts: 212 Member
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    Iḿ the same. When I first met my finacee he lost 10kg eating my food and weighted only 45kg. Then when I started eating his food instead I put on 16kg!
    Ive started dieting again and lost 9kg of that weight but basically instead of cooking two meals I just have to have massive self control.
    I eat a lot of indian food so I serve myself mostly just the sauce and vege with meat and he gets a massive serve of rice to eat along with it.
    Same with pastas. I have the sauce and a tiny bit of the pasta of me (and lots more vegetables for me -
    where as his dish will have heaps of the pasta and significantly less of the veg that I cook.

    Also meat in general when I cook I get 1/3 and he gets 2/3.

    The other thing that I´ve had to deal with is that sometimes he gets mcdonalds and I just dont.
    When I gained the weight we would often have a dinner (relatively healthy) that would leave him hungry two hours later so we would get some takeaway and even though I wasnt hungry I would have something as well just because I felt like I was missing out otherwise.


    But actually (sry im rambling so long) most recently the rice thing has been the best. Giving him huge helpings of rice and not eating it myself - he hasnt complained about beign hungry hours after a meal in weeks and I haven´t been overeating.
  • Figuringoutme
    Figuringoutme Posts: 330
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    Give him big portions then.

    For anyone watching their weight portion control is key.
  • appleseeds
    appleseeds Posts: 212 Member
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    OH! Cheese. Someone mentioned cheese. He always gets loads of cheese added to his meals.
  • nph1960
    nph1960 Posts: 57 Member
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    Give yourself small portions of the carbs and cheesey stuff, and big portions of salad or clean veggies. Give him big portions of the carbs.
  • psuLemon
    psuLemon Posts: 38,404 MFP Moderator
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    Keep in mind that men will lose faster than women and it's pointless to compete against a man when it comes to weight loss. Also when I cook for my wife and i, I just make bigger portions for myself.
  • ranmca
    ranmca Posts: 121 Member
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    i actually really like the cheese idea...its so tasty and i know he wont even notice if i add more. him and i are so different, he eats little portions and becomes full and i just never seem like i can fill up. i also loved the dessert idea. i made really bad sugar cookies the other day, i snuck one and he ate the rest...hopefully they go straight to his bum...lol...i wish we could just distribute our weight between the two of us...it would be the perfect world. thanks for all the advise everyone
  • KeepOnMoving
    KeepOnMoving Posts: 383 Member
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    i actually really like the cheese idea...its so tasty and i know he wont even notice if i add more. him and i are so different, he eats little portions and becomes full and i just never seem like i can fill up. i also loved the dessert idea. i made really bad sugar cookies the other day, i snuck one and he ate the rest...hopefully they go straight to his bum...lol...i wish we could just distribute our weight between the two of us...it would be the perfect world. thanks for all the advise everyone

    The most important thing in a marriage is not looks, but what kind of relationship you have. When you both get old and gray or bald, you won't leave each other for your appearance. (At least I hope not. or we all will be in trouble in our 80s.) It's who you want to spend the rest of your life with. :flowerforyou:
  • Kohadre
    Kohadre Posts: 316
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    Define skinny?
  • richelle67
    richelle67 Posts: 73
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    When I cook for my family, I encounter the same thing. What I do, is eat the vegetable and protein, and stay away from the carb. portion of the meal. I watch my portion size also, and I don't eat all the food on my plate.
  • mrmanmeat
    mrmanmeat Posts: 1,968 Member
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    so ive been using mfp for 2 weeks and 1 day now...lost around 6 ibs...but guess what? the meals im making for myself my hubby is also eating, so the extremely skinny fiancee of mine has dropped 8 ibs and weighs about as much as my little sister. today i ate way over my calorie goal because i felt like i owed my fiancee a more calorie dense meal. its so frustrating. i dont want to cook 2 meals, and he doesnt want to eat more...what the heck am i going to do

    He can take care of his meals?

    You can eat less, he can add in peanut butter.
  • Puffins1958
    Puffins1958 Posts: 614 Member
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    What I do when I want smaller portions, is a use a luncheon plate, instead of a dinner plate. I know it's psychological, but, what can I say, it works for me...... :laugh:

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  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    What I do is have a smaller portion or just have some of the dinner - for example if I made chicken with pasta, I'll have the chicken with salad and leave the pasta for him. Or sometimes I'll cook him the dinner and just have assorted cold foods for myself, like yogurt, salad, cheese, etc.
  • Jenscan
    Jenscan Posts: 694 Member
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    What I do is have a smaller portion or just have some of the dinner - for example if I made chicken with pasta, I'll have the chicken with salad and leave the pasta for him. Or sometimes I'll cook him the dinner and just have assorted cold foods for myself, like yogurt, salad, cheese, etc.

    So, you cook him a warm supper and then don't get to eat any of it? :( Why can't he cook his own supper for himself?
  • dovesgate
    dovesgate Posts: 894 Member
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    My husband has a much more physical job than I do and he plays basketball with the guys at work nearly every day so he has a huge amount of calories to eat whereas I will have anywhere from 300-700 calories left for dinner.

    I cook one meal for our family. I get a single serving size of whatever I make but he will get at least a double serving. If he is really under, I'll make some biscuits or something so he gets closer to goal but I usually won't have any. Once in a while it is difficult to not have something he is having but I figure I can always save it for the next day if I really want it.
  • TheBraveryLover
    TheBraveryLover Posts: 1,217 Member
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    I've cooked for guys I'm dating and have been able to eat within my goal while they ate whatever their normal portion is. Example would be I make some baked chicken, some sort of pasta and veggies. I'll have the meat and veggies and my guy eats all three foods. No need for you to overeat just to feed him more; just omit something or eat a small portion of the higher calorie dish. :)
  • bellaitalia603
    bellaitalia603 Posts: 43 Member
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    Give yourself small portions of the carbs and cheesey stuff, and big portions of salad or clean veggies.

    this is TOTALLY what i do! this way i can still have the good stuff, but get full on the salad and veggies.
  • OutiR
    OutiR Posts: 93 Member
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    Spouse/bf/gf who is skinnier, has faster metabolism and/or exercises a lot can easily learn to
    - take heavier meals during workday
    - keep extra snacks in his/her office/car
    - go straight to fast food place after work/exercise to get a little "starter" before actual meal at home
    or instead of it if you are not in the mood of cooking just for him
    - take second helpings
    - drink juices with meals and snacks while you take water
    + all that others suggested here before.

    If (s)he respects your efforts to get your weight in control and is supportive, it's not much of him/her to do some little changes in his/her daily routines too in the ways that are easier for you.

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