Food is a battlefield

bshedwick

So my wife has recently been complaining that food is a battlefield with me. Mostly related to eating out. I'm trying hard to choose places where I think I can find more healthy options, and not give myself an opportunity to over-eat (which is probably a contributing factor to how I gained most of my weight in the first place).

Since I've really been focusing on eating better, I have been making most of the choices on where to eat when my family goes out (as a family or on date nights).

By being selfish about finding more healthy options, I think its annoying my wife.

Anyone have any suggestions on how to better approach this with her? And how to not make food choices a "battlefield" ?

Topsking2010

I would try a different approach. Take her where she wants to go on date nights and you find healthy alternatives on the menu. Like they say if mama is not happy then no one is happy.

Top

bshedwick

I would try a different approach. Take her where she wants to go on date nights and you find healthy alternatives on the menu. Like they say if mama is not happy then no one is happy.

Top

I do try to do that as much as I can, but I always try to provide suggestions where I'm not gonna pig out, i.e. a Japanese Steakhouse

MB_Positif

What kind of places are you trying to avoid, things like buffets or TGI Fridays? There are decent options almost anywhere, as you can always ask for things without sauces or whatever. Eventually your wife and family will be on board with the whole process, but in the meantime, give them a treat from time to time

perdie7

I have a monthly meeting at my favorite pizza place, buffet. What helps me is that i plan/decide BEFORE i go exactly what I'm going to eat, I even put it all in mfp ap on my phone. I also eat lower calorie breakfast and lunch those days.

bshedwick

I can mostly find healthy things at almost any place I go (with a little prior research). I think thats one of the things that I have trained myself to do while using MFP.

oneIT

Eating out is the devil! The food has double or triple calories then if you made it yourself. Have to please the wife though!
Its a tough boat to be in, I used to be in it!
You already try to choose good food and thats all you can do! Oh, and if you drink soda, STOP!

ElizabethRoad

Eating out is the devil! The food has double or triple calories then if you made it yourself.

Mostly that's just from portion size.

bshedwick

Eating out is the devil! The food has double or triple calories then if you made it yourself. Have to please the wife though!
Its a tough boat to be in, I used to be in it!
You already try to choose good food and thats all you can do! Oh, and if you drink soda, STOP!

Eating out is definitely hard. Thats why I always try go to places that I can look up the calories before hand and/or look at a menu and spot the good choices.

Always dressing on the side, and remove 75% of the cheese that they put on (that was the case with last night's salad and bleu cheese).

Soda went bye bye about 2 years ago, and haven't had it since. Always water, and occasionally add unsweetened iced tea as a treat.

Gotta make the wife happy, but I'm trying to not make food a battle or a struggle, and want to steer towards better places.

momocurti

I agree that planning is key! Regardless of where you go, if you research and make your choices ahead of time (including how much you will eat) you'll be fine!

I'm lucky though... as the wife in the situation, I get to make the choices of where we eat more often than not and the kids and my husband are just along for the ride. However, my sweetheart is over Rubio's. I don't think he can stomach one more burrito, so sadly my grilled chicken tacos on corn tortillas with no sauce are a thing of the past.

Good luck!

UponThisRock

Calorie counting = secret weapon

bshedwick

Calorie counting = secret weapon

It sure is helpful. Counting is still hard when portion sizes are large. I've have issues with getting portion size correct when estimating. 4oz = a deck of cards?

kristelpoole

I may be the only person, but I don't understand what the problem is... Is there some restaurant in particular that she wants to go to and you say no? Or is she not supportive of you making better choices? I guess I'm just having a hard time figuring out why she's upset.

cydonian

Unfortunately, being healthy and losing weight in a relationship almost has to be a dual thing for both people. If one is interested in their health and the other is not, it makes it way more difficult to be healthy. You may have to have a sit down with her and explain that you need her support. Finding healthy choices when having to eat out is difficult enough without someone who is gunning down your options. I had to eat out for every meal for the last 2 days and while I went over on my sodium, I maintained all of my other stats, and my husband supported and helped me with it. He's on a bit of a diet too so we're both working together. I think that is key.

UponThisRock

It sure is helpful. Counting is still hard when portion sizes are large. I've have issues with getting portion size correct when estimating. 4oz = a deck of cards?

Yes. Not only that, when ordering a steak, they usually tell you how big it is.

bshedwick

I may be the only person, but I don't understand what the problem is... Is there some restaurant in particular that she wants to go to and you say no? Or is she not supportive of you making better choices? I guess I'm just having a hard time figuring out why she's upset.

I'm having a hard time figuring it out as well I think that its more that she's getting a little tired of me being as meticulous about it as possible.

I think I just need to always do my best to eat better wherever we go, that way, I can succeed with continuing my healthy lifestyle for years to come.

EuroDriver12

its ur goal... u should have the diciplin to find something healthy on the menu anywhere u go.. as long as its a restourant... if she is craving food or wants something what should she suffer because u set a goal for urself? example.. i was cutting and at the time worked at a pizza restourant.. in like 3 months i didnt have a single slice of pizza.. brought my own food... if i would of done kind of what you do to ur wife i would have to call in my work n tell them.. sorrry guys.. you sell pizza.. i cant come to work.. because im too weak to say no to pizza and have that salad you have on the menu instead..

oh and yes you can annoy someone real quick if you keep tellign someone what to do, what to eat, what they want is bad for em and crappy etc... they have to make their own change in life.. u cant do anything bout it..

artemis222

I agree with Euro.

Also, If I know I'm going out I usually allot myself more calories for it. For example, If I know I'm going to...say Chillies... I will make sure to eat low value foods earlier. Veggies are good for this. That, along with choosing a healthier option there, help me get through the night and not feel guilty.

EuroDriver12

n buddie.. trust me.. im not the typa guy to side with a woman or a wife.. unless they are full out right lol

SLaw4215

I seem to suffer from CRS "cant remember ****" and at the same time I am a total creature of habit. That being said, I tend to order the same item from a specific restaurant.
IDEA #1 - You might consider planning out your menu ahead of time and then saving the information (use a post-it note "ap" on a smart phone or save a couple of pages in a Day Planner calendar book). You'll build a quick reference library and it might help you stay strong.

IDEA #2 - take turns picking out where you'll go for date night

IDEA #3 - don't make dining out part of your lifestyle entertainment. Eat at home and then use the money you saved to put toward concert tickets or Blue Man Group... something you normall would think is too expensive and so you feel like you've had a real treat