Constant comments about weight loss.....
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I am fed up with ppl who have input on how I should live, eat etc. I don't tolerate it. Anybody starts telling me what I 'need to do' I set them straight in NO uncertain terms.
Just be assertive. It's YOUR body & YOUR life. Thank your friends for their concern but MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS and trust me that I am an adult & can take care of myself!
IF you give them an inch, they'll take a mile - NIP IT IN THE BUD.
Are these 'friends' perfectly together!? no, I doubt it- tell them to straighten out their own probs and you'll deal with yours. I had to dump one 'friend' who was trying to control every bite I ate. She was around all the time and saying stuff like 'you don't need to eat that'
I tried & tried to explain - I'm NOT dieting, eating healthy. she would not stop - so I dumped her *kitten*
DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!0 -
Hi
I too hear this more often then I care too. Even from my mom and hubby. You need to eat more and put on weight,Comments like bag of bones or god forbid you get sick you will have know weight on you at all. Freinds,are you eating? it rives me nuts.
I am 5 2" as well and 115-117pounds. I never starve,Always eat 1800-2000 or more a day. I do workout/weightlift. And have always eating healthy, however made changes, since weight loss, like portion contral, pasta was my weakness. Used to eat a huge bowl, now normal.
Anyway, I think it is hard for our loved ones to see us in a different way. I am sure they all mean well, just cannot adjust. And sometimes it makes them feel like they should be doing more too. A few friends have told me, I have inspired them.
I do relate to your frustrations, I also remember comments about such a pretty girl if she only lost a few pounds comments too;-)lol
You will know where your body is comfortable! As long as its healthy..March on:-)
Happy holidays
Sorry grammer etc above--Should never post till had full cup coffe:drinker:0 -
A few years ago I lost about 60 lbs. It was all weight I had to burn. I was completely unhealthy at 180. The people around me were so ridiculous! I had a woman come up and ask me if my hair was falling out because that's what happens when you starve yourself. Even my husband was fussing. He was mostly irritated that I was running instead of waiting on him hand and foot. Ugh! I was running and watching my cals. That's it. I WAS NOT anorexic. People get so crazy when they're threatened. They know you as you've been, and now that you're looking so great, they're probably afraid that the "pecking order" is being disrupted. We are creatures of habit. I admit that my personality changed a little bit, but in a great way. I finally had self-confidence. I didn't let people steam-roll me. So...all that to say, hang in there. Do what feels right to you about how to deal with it. I tried to just laugh when people made ridiculous comments. In my mind, happiness is the best revenge. : ) And most of all...don't let them discourage you. You're doing a great thing for your health and your well-being.0
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There was a time earlier this year that I took all the comments too seriously and started feeling negatively towards those that were making them. Then I decided to quick that *kitten* and turned it in to a positive thing. I haven't gotten any "anorexic" comments as I'm far from that point with 20+ pounds to lose to get to the normal range on BMI - but I've gotten plenty of "disappearing" and "shrinking" comments and just take them in the manner that I believe their intended. People are pround of me and impressed by my progress so I just say "thank you" and leave it at that.
I think having a talk with the BFF is a great idea. There is no way I'd take that crap from even an acquaintance or co-worker, let alone someone who's supposed to be your best friend. Being called anorexic when you know damn well you've now developed a very healthy lifestyle is totally insulting and inappropriate.
Where do people get the idea that these comments are ok? I wouldn't walk up to an overweight friend that looks like they've gained and say "hey, you're looking particularly obese today!". Seriously...0 -
them: " you are obsessed! take a break! no need to keep losing weight and excercising all the time! it's the holidays!!!"
me: "I have allergies. I have to stay active or my allergies flare up."
them: "what are you allergic to?"
me: "excuses"
LOVE THAT!!!
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A couple of thoughts that may or may not be original.
Just like it takes some of us a long time to reset our body image to accept our new shape, it may take others to accept your new shape and get used to it. I think sometimes comments like that are a reflection of the person saying them and not of you...Perhaps they have convinced themselves that their larger size is "normal." And you are shattering that illusion for them. So a "Thank you for your concern!" would be all that is necessary.
As far as BFF...yeah, there appears to be some jealousy there. For her, you need to be honest and tell her that it feels like sabotage. If you started this journey with her and she didn't stick with it, she shouldn't be punishing you or herself really. But that is what it appears she is doing. In you talk I would encourage her that when she's ready, she can be as successful as you.
At a neighborhood ornament exchange party the other night, I got a lot of "You're done losing weight, right?" from people I usually see in just passing. So, "Thanks!" is an adequate enough response.0 -
I have been on this journey solidly now for just over 160 days, to date I have lost 31lbs. In the beginning it was nice to hear comments when people noticed, but lately it's all I hear. I don't want to sound disingenuous but I'm not one that likes constant attention and the comments are becoming a bit negative. A very close friend has comment twice in the past week that I am looking anorexic I even lifted my shirt to disprove her point. Let me say I am 5'2" and 131 lbs, my goal is 120, although I may try for 115. Last night I went with coworkers for Mexican, I almost didn't go because of the temptation but stuck with eating just a few chips and drinking one margarita. (huge nsv for me btw, I love the margaritas at this restaurant). I had already eaten dinner w/ my family, but then had to hear comments like "I knew you weren't eating!" And was told yesterday if I lose anymore I will "blow away in the wind".
My question is....has anyone else experienced this? And how did you handle it? As far as the BFF and her anorexic comments, it is making me very angry and I plan on telling her so.
I didn't read all the responses so if I repeat, I apologize. I do not think 120 is unreasonable for your height. I dont know your age, but I am 5'6" and when I was in my twenties I was 125 and was not even close to skinny.
It is you body. You need to do what jakes you happy. I suggest putting this in your profile, if you read mine you will see that I did.
As far as telling her, only you know how she will take it and how important a friend she is to you.
Good Luck.0 -
Let your physician be the one to tell you whats right for you- It sounds like you are well within the healthy weight range for your height-the chart I use says anywhere from 108 lbs to 143 pounds depending on your frame. Maybe she is just jealous of your success. I know when I lost a ton of weight before (80 lbs) everyone was constantly commenting on it and saying things like that-and I was at the higher end of "normal" weight. It made me second guess myself, so I stopped with the weight loss, even though I really wanted to lose 10 more-I completely regret that now, because when I stopped it didn't take long before I thought oh...this cookie can't hurt much...and now Im starting all over again! As long as you are happy with yourself thats all that matters-and take the compliments about your weight loss-you worked hard for it! Good luck!
Totally agree!!! That is what I did!!!0 -
Some people just have the structure to look a certain way. But as long as you're NOT anorexic, and you ARE eating, and eating healthy, then it doesn't matter. I can see where it would be insulting. I would feel as if all of my hard work just lead to mocking. But I wouldn't let it get you down. Talk to each person privately and let them know how their words affected you. Most will understand. And if they don't, then they're just not worth the thoughts.0
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I've been really fortunate to have had great support from my family and most of my friends and coworkers...I do have one coworker who will comment that I have a great shape but then will do things like yesterday when someone brought in christmas cookies--she asked if I wanted a particular kind. I said no, because I didn't like that particular kind of cookie. She brought one in on a plate and put it on my desk anyway. It sat there for an hour until I got up and put it back in the tray of cookies for someone else to enjoy. Later I picked out the type of cookie I WANTED..and enjoyed it very much. LOL.
The same coworker sometimes has made "skinny" or "anorexic" comments to me, which I do find offensive. I choose to eat healthier and exercise. I don't know why people are threatened by this...I don't push my healthier habits on them. I also would never comment to a coworker, "gee, you're looking particularly overweight today." Why do people think it's ok to comment that someone looks too skinny? Unless someone truly has an eating disorder or health issue...and that's still not something you can always tell just from looking at someone's weight.0 -
^^This^^People who are used to seeing you overweight take a while to get used to the smaller you.
I was very tiny most of my life and overweight for about a year-and-a-half period. When I lost weight, I was still about 15-20 pounds heavier than I had been MOST of my life and my mother (who obviously has known me my entire life) accused me of being anorexic. I was 132 pounds and 5'3".
I had the same thing. People that knew me when I was heavy always made comments about losing too much weight but people that know me know or even part of the way through my journey don't think anything of it. I don't think is jealousy (all the time). IMO, It's more that people are used to a heavier you so you look "too thin" in comparison. They'll get used to it and stop commenting.0 -
I get it all the time now too. Buti realized I'd set myself up by saying no...I still have xx lbs to lose or try to prove I wasn't too thin by pinching an inch, but that's when they'd comment the most when they realized I had no intention of stopping yet. However I quit telling them I wanted to lose more and started lying and saying, thanks, I'm in maintenance now and just trying to tone the rest. They seem better with "thinking" I'm done losing and I can attribute any further changes to "toning". My BFF is the same way. She's 5'8" and 130 pounds...but eats a ton so even when I eat next to her it does look like I eat like a bird, and more than anything I think there is some intimidation to her that I might actually get smaller than her (not happening by the way...I'm 5'5 and aiming for 140) when she's always had me as the Chubby (translate as all attention on her) friend. They only see it as how our changes might impact them or make them feel. So sugar coat the situation and let em think they're perfectly safe. It's one situation I think lieing is ok. Their opinion of me is none of my business.0
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as long as they know how I really feel (I have shared it with them in the past multiple times and they don't pay it any attention, I have a few family members like this) I just tell them what they want to hear to change the subject then talk about stuff that is funner to talk about. If they are talking about diet and health, I just listen because they know where I stand, I do it all the time and I still love my family and friends whether they are leading healthy life styles or not.
If what I have to say doesn't matter, then I am not going to say it any more.
If they are trying to get me to do something that is not healthy I don't do it, I will say what ever I have to to have fun, but I am not eating that thing, I just don't want to, and I am not tasting it either. If they love me and they do they will respect what I want and don't want in my life and sugary food is something I don't want.
I know it is hard, but with time they will get the message that you are happy to enjoy their company and still will choose to do what makes you feel comfortable without making them change their habits.
Good luck!0 -
I can see how this would be annoying, and from your stats you definitely don't sound like you're too thin. I think it's just their perception....they're used to seeing you at a certain weight and now you're thinner, it can be a big change. I like to think most people aren't being malicious and that they even think they're being cute/funny or trying to cheer you on.....but definitely speak to BFF about her comments and how they're upsetting to you. And keep up the good work!0
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I responded by telling them that I am in my weight range for my height and telling them my BMI.0
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Wow that's inredibly rude, I am sorry that your best friend can't just be happy for you! You have a very healthy goal, and if some people are jealous/can't handle it, that isn't your problem!
Also I just hate hate hate when people say someone "looks anorexic". Anorexia is a very very serious, often fatal, mental disease and it shouldn't be a way to describe someone who looks thin. Anorexia is not a fad diet! I can't help but call people on that when they say someone "looks anorexic". Would you ever say someone accuse someone of "going scizophrenic"? Uh, I hope not.0 -
Thank you all....you've all been very helpful. I had even said to my husband last night, that maybe it will take time for people to get used to this new me. I'm just not comfortable with the attention. Funny though, those that have lost weight too are very supportive, those that have not or haven't tried are usually the ones making the most comments. I know most have good intentions and I usually change the subject as quickly as I can and I will speak to BFF again.0
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them: " you are obsessed! take a break! no need to keep losing weight and excercising all the time! it's the holidays!!!"
me: "I have allergies. I have to stay active or my allergies flare up."
them: "what are you allergic to?"
me: "excuses"
Oh my I love this one!!!!!!!! 0 -
them: " you are obsessed! take a break! no need to keep losing weight and excercising all the time! it's the holidays!!!"
me: "I have allergies. I have to stay active or my allergies flare up."
them: "what are you allergic to?"
me: "excuses"
Oh my I love this one!!!!!!!!
I just might use this!!!
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