Feeling embarassed...

musicaljessica

I am just starting my diet. And I know it sounds daft but I feel embarassed to tell anyone I know that sounds stupid. But its like I'll be highlighting my weight. I work at a fast food place, and we're allowed food on our breaks. A few months ago I had a salad and people started making comments about how they didn't expect me to have salad....Its like everyone expects all I eat is junk...

Do you think I should tell people? Or should I just keep my mouth shut?

RhonndaJ

I think you should do what you're most comfortable with.

I didn't tell anyone other than my husband when I first started making changes in my eating and activity. This included not telling my sister and my niece that I'd joined MFP... they were already members and doing well.

I just didn't want to advertise what I was doing .... and then end up doing what I'd always done in the past which was give up.

At work I did have a couple of comments when I declined things I would have had in the past, but I just blew it off saying I just wasn't in the mood that day... or felt like X for a change. None of their business anyway.

musicaljessica

Thanks. I think right now I'm so worried I'm just going to blow it and give up. So maybe if I wait til I'm sure I'm on track.

People just go on and on about how you have to tell everyone in order to lose weight....But I'm not comfortable doing that.

Thanks for your advice

bluefever

Some people like to tell everyone to hold themselves accountable. Some like to keep it to themselves to avoid the questions if they fail. Some people keep it to themselves because it's thier own personal battle. Keep it to yourself if that's what you are comfortable and add some friends on MFP for some encouragement and support.

Speedtrap

I only tell someone when it impacts them, like if I am going to someones house for dinner.
There is no need for others around me to know until I am ready to tell them.

ymhand

Was just reading a few minutes ago how one lady has been dieting and her friends and co workers are now making comments that are upsetting her regarding her dieting. If it was me I wouldn't tell anyone. It's a personal thing, unless of course your looking for input, possible good and bad feedback, and people constantly looking at you to see if your eating and what your eating.

tmm_0127

Firstly: Don't be embarrassed! Most people dwell on the question "how did I let myself gain this much weight?" and then they get stuck on that question and it just makes them feel bad about themselves. The reality of it is yes, you gained weight. But so what? You can do something about it so .. do something about it.

Secondly: No one needs to know your plans or ... really anything personal about your life. They'll be able to see the difference for themselves.

bhalter

I don't call it "dieting." Not to sound "cliche," but it really is a lifestyle change. When people make a comment, I just say that I'm trying to eat healthier. Sad that people automatically make fun of people or say things about a "diet" when people eat healthy foods. It should be the other way around when you see somebody eat a 10-pack of soft tacos or something.

madameduffay

Do what feels comfortable. The one thing that is good about telling people that you are making changes is that it prevents you from eating the bad stuff in order to continue hiding it. Like, if you were to go out to a pub and noboby knew you were trying to make a change, then you might order a cheeseburger and fries in order to avoid the comments about why you are eating a salad.

I totally understand where this is coming from though. I used to feel the same way, but now I don't care.

jenniet04

I don't call it "dieting." Not to sound "cliche," but it really is a lifestyle change. When people make a comment, I just say that I'm trying to eat healthier. Sad that people automatically make fun of people or say things about a "diet" when people eat healthy foods. It should be the other way around when you see somebody eat a 10-pack of soft tacos or something.

I totally agree with this. No need to tell everyone that you are "dieting." If you feel comfortable, just tell them you are trying to make healthier choices when they ask or make comments. If you're not comfortable, just tell them to mind their own business. You are doing this for you, not them!!

crzyone

Do what makes you feel best. I don't tell people in general, but when they see m not eating with them like I used to at work or home, they ask, or when they see weight loss, they ask, so yes, some people know. But, I don't announce it to anyone. I"m really NOT one for the limelight.

Ephena

For the most part I kept my mouth shut until I hit the 20+ lb mark. Then as people started to notice and ask if I had lost weight I would smile and say yeah. A couple people, like my boyfriend knew but not really any of my friends, family, or co-workers.

Now that I'm down over 65lbs almost everybody notices and comments which brings up a whole new set of issues. Everybody wants to know how I'm doing it. They all assume it's a fad diet or something and nobody wants to hear that it's eating right, counting my calories, and exercising. So now I smile and say it's this great website that comes with an app for my phone and it's called Myfitnesspal.

EuphonyChloeH

I recently read a book called "Secrets of a Former Fat Girl", which offers great advice as far as turning your physical life around. One of the pieces of advice in the book was to not tell anyone about your "diet", and basically the reason for that is you're already your own worst critic, so do you really need your friends and family stepping in to say "should you be having that?" or giving you unsolicited advice like "you know, low carb is the only way to go..." So if you're going the rogue route, I say pick up the book and skim that chapter - she does offer tips on how to keep your plans under wraps.

However, I agree with other comments that it's a personal choice. I talk to my mom openly about my diet, especially since she's been there and done that. Maybe there's people you're comfortable talking to, and then there's people you would prefer not know you're dieting. Do what feels best for you, as well as what will keep you on the straight and narrow (you don't want people who will coddle you when you binge on oreos or skip the gym for a week).

musicaljessica

Lovely comments Thankyou

I think I'm just going to let this be my thing. I have the motivation of this website and all the lovely people on it. So I think I'll just leave it at that.

Nobody needs to know. And I can decline things politely without questions. I can just say I don't fancy it or am making healthier choices. What a great take on it.

Also, I agree this is not a diet. A diet is something you do for a while then stop. You are right. This is definitely a lifestyle change.

So glad to see how supportive people on here are Thanks again x

Finally22

I so understand about your feelings about not wanting tell anyone - I don't think it is anyone's business. It is sort of embarrasing - I sometimes think when you're overweight everyone sees it - since they do..... In the past I would never tell anyone - but this time it is different - maybe cause this time I am going to do it!!!!! I started telling people in my spinning class since they noticed I lost weight - so I told them about MFP....

rosalee87

I agree, do what you're most comfortable with - when I started my journey I didn't tell anyone besides my parents and after I started shredding the weight and it became noticeable people started asking me; that's when I told them.

MrsJones112604

I feel the same way. I'm totally humiliated to be heavier than any woman I know... I don't know a single one bigger - it may be a silly way to think, but that's where my brain is right now. Shouldn't my aging mom have more rolls? My recently pregnant big sis? ...well no, I'M the big gal in the family and I just totally don't want to tell anyone what I weigh or let them add it up either even if I do succeed. It's not my fav trait!
So, I'm hoping to find buddies right here at MFP to help hold me accountable... Just started today! Best of luck everyone!
~Monica

MrsJones112604

Firstly: Don't be embarrassed! Most people dwell on the question "how did I let myself gain this much weight?" and then they get stuck on that question and it just makes them feel bad about themselves. The reality of it is yes, you gained weight. But so what? You can do something about it so .. do something about it.

Secondly: No one needs to know your plans or ... really anything personal about your life. They'll be able to see the difference for themselves.

See, I think like that.. gotta get out of it and move on! I like this tmm
Best of luck musical!

rainbowbow

That's why you don't tell anyone. You don't want someone all in your business and making comments like "aren't you on a diet? Should you be eating that?"

*kitten* that. I keep it to myself/ loved ones who won't judge me. So many people in today's society have so many misconceptions on what portion/healthy/etc.

jojoworks

Its up to you to decide who to share what with. If people make comments about my food choices sometimes I tell them I'll allergic to gluten (to explain why I don't eat doughnuts, lol) or that I eat a lot of soup because I have bi-lateral TNJ syndrome and I have difficulty chewing.

Its no one's business why I eat what I eat until I feel like discussing it!

CityOnAHill

For what it's worth, I told EVERYONE. And here's why: The more people you tell, the more potential support you have. And the more people you tell, the more people are going to ask you about it. How are you doing, have you lost weight, etc? And more people paying attention means more people telling you what a good job your doing. And more people to get you back on track when you start to slip.

Are there days I wish I had told no one so I could go eat that chesseburger and fries? You betcha! BUT...because everyone I know is aware that I'm working on a permanent change, I steer clear of the fatty and fried foods 95% of the time. It's accountability for me.

That said, weight loss is a deeply personal journey and you have to do what's right for you and your personality.

Best of luck! This community is so supportive; you may find all you need right here! :happy:

CMmrsfloyd

You don't have to tell other people if you don't want to. Especially if you think they will not be supportive or might make you self conscious. And I totally agree with not calling it 'dieting'. I'm not on a diet, I am making healthier choices. I don't plan to go back to eating the way I did before, so this is not 'a diet'. 'A diet' is something you do short-term. This is a lifestyle change of making better choices. That doesn't mean that you can't still enjoy the things you enjoyed before, it just means you are learning how to fit it into your day in a healthier way. And yes it means sometimes you might choose salad over a burger (unless you hate salad LOL don't force-feed yourself something you hate ;-) ). Or yogurt over ice cream. But it doesn't mean you can't have burgers or ice cream anymore. It just means you are going to pay better attention to how things add up throughout the day and how they affect your overall goals.

Cornwallis68

I've told no one except my partner (and even with him I play it down). That's what feels right for me. I'm as sure as I can be that if I'd told people I would have stopped within the first week or so - it's not about having permission to 'eat that cheeseburger' - I'm accountable to me. I tell people I've joined the gym, so they know I'm doing something (given that it's really out of character for me!), but that's it. I'm very glad that I didn't go with the accountability thing as I really don't think it would have helped me at all.

decofitwife

I know that telling people, especially co-workers that I am on a weightloss/get fit journey helps me stay motivated! eventually they ask how im doing and give compliments as they see changes. I would do what you like but its kinda like running in public, I keep running if people are watching me because I dont want them to think I cant do it Good Luck!

colochel

It's hard when you're so new at it. After you've been at it for a while and notice changes in your body you will probably feel a lot more comfortable talking about it. I never would have told someone my weight when I started. But now I don't feel the sense of shame talking about it.

Best of luck! We are all rooting for you!

albayin

It's common when you start a new thing and people will notice and comment on it. But as time goes by they will be tired of saying something about it and then it's quiet again. Like me dressing up to go to work everyday and no one rarely says anything but one day they asked tons of questions to a co-worker of mine who on that day decided to ditch the hoodies and wore a dress. Go figure. LOL

wcsangel

I told my mum, but that was about it. When I'd dropped 20 lbs or so, people started asking me if I'd lost weight, but I just sort of smiled and said I'd been eating healthier. I don't think I've told anyone outside of my immediate family that I'm on a 'diet' as such.

I think you should only tell people you're comfortable with. It's no one's business but your own. Don't listen to people who tease you about what you're eating or how much you're exercising. All that matters is that you're happy and working on it yourself.