Deleting friends?

TheDoctor90

I'm curious as to what criteria you have for deleting friends.
For me, if I can see they have periods of absence followed by a few days of logging in, absence again etc, they get deleted.

But what about people who have opposite goals? Or people who want to lose weight yet eat crap in their diary? People with ED's?

Discuss

BobbyClerici

If they don't log in for more than 3 days, post trivial FB stuff or act poorly with a toxic, argumentative attitude, Bye Bye!
Further, anybody on one of those starvation diets is somebody I want no part of; they'll be fat all their life.

It's self-defeating.

I want serious, fitness oriented guys and some ladies who not only seek to be thin but in PEAK condition.
Normal is NOT where it's at for us - we want MORE!

If this is you, friend me!

Natalie49

I never deleted a friend on MFP..
& I have many who have many bad days during the week and always complain and eat a lot.. but that doesn't mean i should delete them, i just try to support them! I'm struggling a bit.. and i've been having many bad days (calorie-wise) so i think i should be understanding and appreciate those who always support me.

Also, some of my friends have opposite goals and ED's.. but they're really determined and strong. So i love them for that! It inspires me.

KandieLantz

I try to be supportive of all of MFP's but... TOO many pity party's and I start feeling that it's in my best interest to delete them. I tend to be a "fixer" and end up feeling that gravitational pull, wanting to help and fix... which is great if it's for someone who wants to help themselves as well. If not, then if they post too much drama, I have to let them go.

wmlpd6

If I never mssg or interact with the person after so long I delete them. I prefer quality over quantity.

HonkyTonks

I try and support my MFP friends even if they have bad days, don't eat well, etc. etc. - the only time I have deleted is if they don't log in anymore or I did once delete someone because they always posted sad sack/pity party stuff. It was constant, 10 posts a day type stuff - I just couldn't deal with it

AtticusFinch

I never delete people for being absent - we all have real lives, and most of us have temporary periods where Mfp can become a bit of an effort.

I only delete when they do something that would make it hypocritical to carry on being their 'friend', such as friend someone I despise, (not many like that on Mfp), or they fall out with another friend I may be more interactive with, or perhaps they express an extremist view I don't approve of.

I also dislike people who fill my home page with inane babble, or repeatedly tell other users it's okay to pork out and let yourself go - because sometimes it is, usually it isn't, and being nice to someone just so they'll continue to like you is not what the Mfp community is about, it's about respect, support, and education. (And messing around in the Chit-chat forum if you want to).

So to any of my friends reading this don't worry, if you're still here you match my criteria.

PositivelyFlawed

I clear out friends who haven't been very active then disappear for more than 3 days. I have no 'ties' to these folks. Now if some of my active MFP friends disappear for a couple days i'm more inclined to be concerned and encouraging and would never delete them. This is the only reason i've had to remove people so far. I just don't need to see you've been absent for 4, 5, 10 days.

I would never delete someone because I don't agree how they eat. My husband is currently on an "eat whatever I want in extreme moderation" and has lost almost 40 lbs. I don't agree with what he eats sometimes and I express my concern once in a while about how few calories he eats in a day most days, but overall I support him because it is HIS choice how to go on his journey. I'd afford the same treatment to friends who choose different ways to get to their weight loss goal.

If someone is excessively negative or always hateful, bye bye. No need for that!

I'm here to support and encourage and receive the same. I'd like to keep my MFP a positive and open place for me and my friends!

mrsdizzyd84

I delete A-holes. Anyone who is disparaging of others or generally mean-spirited gets the boot. Period. I only want positive, motivating, and supportive people on my friends list. I don't want to read about someone calling someone else Fat or Lazy or Ugly or anything else in that general way. MFP is the last place people should be mean, this isn't high school.

I sometimes delete people who have stopped visiting MFP. I don't do that often.

twanthe1

If they didn't log in or post I wouldn't notice, so the only way I would delete someone is if they were abusive.

LexieSweetheart

I delete you if we don't ever speak.

brittanyjeanxo

If they haven't logged in for over a week (and I didn't know they were going to do so), if they don't ever talk to me or vice versa, and if they turn out to be not such a great person. The only other time was a girl who has an ED that she claims she's trying to get over, yet posts things like, "skip dinner, get thinner". I'm not gonna support someone that obviously doesn't want it.

j4nash

Anyone who starves themselves intentionally. I just can't support that as I lost a friend for the very same reason.

Poetic_

I deleted a couple for long periods of not logging in, but the ones who are too dramatic with their status, I usually hide them from my news feed. I'm too wimpy to delete people...lol

BrendaLee

I can't support people who are starving themselves. I need positive people with good, solid goals. As for how much time has to pass before I delete, if they haven't logged on for three months, I tend to delete them.

hlcook

I haven't deleted anyone yet... but I'd probably have the same criteria for deleting facebook "friends". If you're a mean jerk then I unfriend and move on....

Heather

bjfmade

I try to be supportive of all of MFP's but... TOO many pity party's and I start feeling that it's in my best interest to delete them. I tend to be a "fixer" and end up feeling that gravitational pull, wanting to help and fix... which is great if it's for someone who wants to help themselves as well. If not, then if they post too much drama, I have to let them go.

Agreed, pretty black and white. Either you do or you don't, get over it and on with it!
Also, if they are MIA for over 2 weeks or more...gone

Elizabeth_M

Already deleted 2, and I have only been here 2 weeks. lol

I deleted them because even though they log on, they have NOTHING to say to me at all - not even a 'yay'. That's not support.

I hate Facebook for all the people who try to get as many 'friends' as they can - this is not why I joined this site.

nikolaim5

If they didn't log in or post I wouldn't notice, so the only way I would delete someone is if they were abusive.

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ReverendJim

People have things in their lives that can keep them away for three days, or a week, even. I have no patience for those who just clear the slate after three days. I get to know my MFP friends and understand which ones may have circumstances that make it so they can't log in every day. I offer my support to anyone who wants it and gives it in return. I don't put people on a schedule.

Missylydia

I recently had a big clear out, I just can't support 50ish friends! So I deleted those that haven't logged in for a long time, those that just log and don't post. and a few that i hadn't really interacted with and had very different goals/at very different stages.
I kept those that I do interact with, those with the same goal and a few that are at my goal for inspiration!

driaxx

If they didn't log in or post I wouldn't notice, so the only way I would delete someone is if they were abusive.

this

Yeah, same. Or if they clogged up my news feed with irrelevant things waay too much.

One girl deleted me once because I think she thought I was developing an eating disorder. Instead of warning me or trying to help me before I got worse, she just deleted me. It was probably for the best though, her 800 calorie diet was influencing me to do the same, so good riddance!

soon2bhotmom

I've only deleted inactive ones but I am gonna go thru and delete those who always post but never reply or support others.

_snw_

hrm ... i'm in the middle of a deleting period right now.

~ i support as many as i can in my news feed who's posted within the past two hours of me logging in. So I obviously don't get everyone, which means I don't expect for every single person to support me - BUT, if I don't see some type of participation - pm/response/support/hell, anything - what's the point of being on my friends list? Just so I can have a high number? I find that utterly stupid. If I don't even recognize your name - delete.

~ the MEMEMEs. The ones who post all the time about this and that but ~never~ respond or ever take a moment to reciprocate. - delete.

~ the overachieving undereaters. The ones who don't listen to good advice about their unhealthy eating habit. Not the ones who are trying - the ones who think drinking a bottle of OJ in the morning is awesome and then they complain about feeling sick. - delete

~ the immature. No, not in the funny kind of way. The real way. I'm too old to deal with it. - delete


If you make me laugh and we either pass ways on the boards, private messages, news feeds - you have a place in my heart.

kleavitt1992

Long periods of absence
i dont like their views on weightloss
they are rude to others in the forums
i dont remember anything about them because
they never support me/ i haven't talked to them since last year (meaning a year ago not a month ago lol)
I start with oldest friends first then go through the pages that way

cthoma70

I havent deleted anyone. I'm afraid they may come back and not have friends on their list and give up again. I dont see the problem keeping them as friends as they dont log in and post stuff so they arent any problems

ahunkofmexican

It will always be a personal choice as to who and why. I prefer to keep a small list of friends for a few reasons. For one, i cannot keep up on 50-100 plus friends and really give them my attention, so 15-20 is enough for me ! Some friends i like to laugh with:laugh: and some because they need some kinda support :ohwell: and some because they achieved their goals and maintaining like they should and are a good example to follow :drinker: . I keep a few who haven't logged in for months cause i miss them and you never know whats going on in their life for them to not log in for a month or so. One of my favorites just disappeared off the face of the Earth and i fear that This person might of died. I'm hoping This person will come back safe and sound. Dont always be 2 quick to delete unless your sure 4 yourself. Good luck on your journey. :drinker:

KayteeBear

Usually a friend will be deleted if they haven't logged in for over 15 days. If I don't recognize your name (aka you never post) then I'll also delete them. If they don't post then I can't support them so no point being friends. Usually I just sort through for people who haven't logged in for a long time. It's to the point that last time I checked my friends everybody except for 2 or 3 people had logged in that day or day before.

tmarie2715

I've only deleted inactive ones but I am gonna go thru and delete those who always post but never reply or support others.

And I second all those who are starving themselves or having pity parties all the time. I also delete if I continually see you put up big absences-- a week here, couple days there, etc, etc. I'm kind of heavy handed with the delete button.

I should add that I spend a lot of time actually viewing my friends' diaries, making comments, talking about exercise, recipes, and the like. I feel I am worth at least a little support from my friends, so if I check your profile and you haven't commented on any of your hundreds of friends' updates in weeks, then good riddance.

Kymmu

I deleted someone who was out and out abusive and swearing at me when I voiced my opinions and they were in contrast to his. it was nasty. I blocked him. I still have friends who are 'pals' with him though (?).....

ironanimal

> 3 Days absense - Delete.
> Abusve - Delete.
> Annoying 'I'm going for a poop' type updates - Delete.
> Eating under a healthy amount and not willing to listen - Delete.
> Struggling for a couple of days - Keep.
> Occasionally being glum - Keep.