Divorcing and need support

fae713

I have been divorced for a little over a year, though I had been separated for nearly 2 years (emotionally it was 2 1/2 years) prior to that. I have to admit that to me, it was the absolute best day of the entire year, and the previous 5 years. Despite the fact that it was something that I was looking forward to and somethign that I knew I needed to do and was incredibly happy about, it was still hard to get used to the idea that I was completely and totally single again. I had lost a part of what I used as an identification - the first time I had to mark "Divorced" on a legal document was when it really hit me that my life had changed beyond what I could really comprehend.

What I found was the most beneficial was having a core group of people I could talk to about it. No more than 4 people and my journal. From the separation through the end of the divorce I relied on 4 people (though it wasn't always the same 4 people, some drifted away while others became closer) to help me through the ups and downs, to encourage me and to listen. Again, not easy, but very much so needed. Did I mention journaling? Because that helped me to get what I was feeling and thinking outside of my head and somewhere that I could see it, analyze it, work through it.

When I started to experience extreme emotions that I had trouble controlling, I found that long hours at the gym were the best things for me. It didn't matter if I was angry, upset, depressed, stressed, overworked or some combination of all of them, going to the gym really helped me to be able to get back to functioning. Maybe not normal, but at least I could function.

TL;DR - Having a good support system, a way to get your thoughts and feelings out of your head and a way to help decrease the intensity of extreme emotions are the places to start. From there, it just takes time. Sadly, that advice is still true regardless of the uncomfortable situation.

Good luck, and don't hesitate to friend if you want more support.