Suggestions for Motivating a Morbidly Obese Relative?

love22step

I'm concerned about my cousin. She's 65, and I'm told her doctor said she'll die if she doesn't lose weight. Okay, I know we're all going to die at some point, but I'm sure the doctor means sooner than necessary. We're not close, but I'm concerned and would welcome suggestions for approaching her about joining MyFitnessPal. I tend to be direct, and I'm aware that's not always the way a lot of women like to be approached. She very sensitive. Help, please!

gods_gal

Could be touchy. Especially since you mentioned you're not that close with her. If you talk at all, you might casually bring up in conversation how successful you've been and how MFP has helped you. If she's interested at all, she'll continue the conversation.

It's hard to watch others destroy their health. I watched my own brother suffer with diabetes and then lose his toe because he wouldn't follow his doctor's order in his eating and exercise. Then he died in his sleep when he was only 61. Way too young to die, and especially when he could have had many more years if he'd taken care of himself. He told me if he couldn't eat what he wanted, he didn't want to live. Haunts me still.

Anyway, they are the ones that ultimately have to make the decision for health or not. I hope you're able to have a conversation with her and that she is receptive.

autumnridge

This conversation could go any direction. She may resent your having lost weight and feel you are "flaunting" it. Then, it might be the lifeline for which she has been looking. If you can discover what it is in her life that is holding her back, it might be the key to a discussion. Is she lacking in self-confidence? You can tell her how much your confidence has grown since you've lost your weight. We both know she needs to lose the weight, as does she. Could she afford to see a counselor who specializes in eating disorders? Only she can make the final decision.

taem

I agree with the above posts. Your cousin should know that your intentions are for her benefit but that you don't have all the answers, this way she doesn't feel you are Miss Know-It-All. Her knowing that you are concerned is probably a good conversation starter and you can talk more about it as time goes on. You can probably tell her your weight journey and she can glean from that what she will. Ultimately, it's her decision but I hope it works out.

I view diet and exercise like a preacher preaching the word of God, but the difference is people stop telling others to get fit and healthy whereas the preacher will always tell you to repent. People either receive the message or they don't. If it is not too much work, perhaps daily phone calls can be a good start.