i'm just curious

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  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
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    i find it interesting that men have responded as well.....this may seem ignorant....but i have always thought of this as a female issue
  • DakotaKeogh
    DakotaKeogh Posts: 693 Member
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    Well, I can say I understand a lot of this. But I can also say, you're a beautiful woman. So, stop lying to yourself. You're beautiful. Any guy - certainly me - would be proud to walk with you.
  • DakotaKeogh
    DakotaKeogh Posts: 693 Member
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    i find it interesting that men have responded as well.....this may seem ignorant....but i have always thought of this as a female issue

    Sorry
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
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    i find it interesting that men have responded as well.....this may seem ignorant....but i have always thought of this as a female issue

    Sorry

    as beth would say....my ignorance is showing
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
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    Well, I can say I understand a lot of this. But I can also say, you're a beautiful woman. So, stop lying to yourself. You're beautiful. Any guy - certainly me - would be proud to walk with you.

    you're sweet brett (((hugs)))
  • justaxletdown
    justaxletdown Posts: 76
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    I've never thought I was pretty in any way. I have always believed that I was fat, ugly, and stupid...
  • marujita
    marujita Posts: 53
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    I know that feeling, and I also have wondered where that came from. Ever read The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz? Check it out, it might help you with that!
  • brookepenni
    brookepenni Posts: 787 Member
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    parents have a lot to answer for really. I have the opposite problem - too much confidence, but in all honesty - I think this is my mothers fault too.

    I dont think there are any ugly people out there. A smile and kind eyes are all you need to shine. That line 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder' should only apply to clothing and shoes because I think it gives people an excuse to think they're not beautiful.

    Just be kind to yourself. You are who you are. Smile and show the world you like being you. :flowerforyou:
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
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    thanks for the replys everyone....i hate to know anyone shares in this pain....but at the same time.....now i do not feel so alone.....
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
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    I know that feeling, and I also have wondered where that came from. Ever read The Four Agreements by Miguel Ruiz? Check it out, it might help you with that!


    i have not read it but i will....thanks :)
  • RaeLB
    RaeLB Posts: 1,216 Member
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    I dont think there are any ugly people out there. A smile and kind eyes are all you need to shine.

    Agreed.
  • Apazman
    Apazman Posts: 494 Member
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    Truth be told, I feel this way every day of my life. Every time I see the mirror or take my shirt off to take a shower. I feel it when I meet my friends at a bar and have to get them to move from a booth to a table so I can sit more comfortably. It hurts, every moment of every day hating the way you look, wether its my small teeth, the bags under my eyes, my chins(Plural), but every once in a while, I wear a shirt and a stylish tie and vest, and my hair looks pretty cool. I say Damn .. ya know .. I look pretty okay (means damn good in my head). One day I tried to focus on things I like about myself, that I like. My Hair, My eyes are incredibly golden brown, my sense of style, my strength, My charm, my intelect, my witty sense of humor, my compassion, my romantic nature, my knowledge of cars, computer, my ability to play the guitar. I see a lot of good things in me and if I really think about it, the bad things pale in comparison. :)
  • whitehandlady
    whitehandlady Posts: 459 Member
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    Truth be told, I feel this way every day of my life. Every time I see the mirror or take my shirt off to take a shower. I feel it when I meet my friends at a bar and have to get them to move from a booth to a table so I can sit more comfortably. It hurts, every moment of every day hating the way you look, wether its my small teeth, the bags under my eyes, my chins(Plural), but every once in a while, I wear a shirt and a stylish tie and vest, and my hair looks pretty cool. I say Damn .. ya know .. I look pretty okay (means damn good in my head). One day I tried to focus on things I like about myself, that I like. My Hair, My eyes are incredibly golden brown, my sense of style, my strength, My charm, my intelect, my witty sense of humor, my compassion, my romantic nature, my knowledge of cars, computer, my ability to play the guitar. I see a lot of good things in me and if I really think about it, the bad things pale in comparison. :)

    i like your take on things......this is a great way to see yourself
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
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    Been thinking of this a lot lately.

    My mom always TOLD me she was ugly. That is the word she used. I believed her as I believed everything she said.

    So of course I looked in the mirror and say ugly too!

    I am now 50, going through a horrible divorce after 27 years.

    I was looking at pictures of my mom, she was NOT ugly. She was an attractive woman with beautiful eyes, plump lips, slim body and a lovely smile when she would do it. I cried that she lived her entire 54 years believing in her soul she was ugly.

    Cut to me. I am vulnerable right now, but never felt pretty. I looked at the pictures of me up until a few years ago and saw/see a beautiful woman. I looked at myself as if I was looking at a friend...........and thought are you NUTS? You are attractive.

    I REFUSE to die believing I am ugly. Life is too short and it is a lie. I am writing that on my mirror "You are NOT ugly, that is a LIE!!"

    I will not comment on your looks, but who is that handsome young man in the picture with you?:heart:


    you maty have just answered the question i've been tormented with....the where did it come from.....my mom was the same way.....exactly

    the young man is my son

    :love: can't you see your beauty in him? That is what makes me understand (if not truly believe) that I am not ugly. My daughter looks just like me and she is so beautiful. I cannot see a thing wrong with her. My boys are perfect, and I can see peices of me throughout.

    Of course I must admit the outside is wonderful, but it is their:heart: that makes me tear up when I am with them. They are all so loving. *sigh* that is true beauty
  • BobbyClerici
    BobbyClerici Posts: 813 Member
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    OUCH!
    Please. don't do that.

    Life is to be lived - not endured. Sure, maybe you are not where you want to be in your fitness progress, but give yourself a break.
    Our bodies reflect what's inside, and if we are on the right road toward health and fitness, it takes a lot of time and effort to get good results. And even then some people get obsessed with their absurd notions of perfection.

    And those who only seek out the bad will never be happy. The most miserable folk I know are those who compare their weaknesses to the strength of others, so please, again, don't do that to yourself.

    Learn to love yourself, and accept that each one of us is indeed lovable - flaws and all!

    Have a great day!
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
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    what is with all the self-hate around here lately? there is so much, i wrote a blog post about it. (that was a shameless plug for my blog)

    if you don't learn to love yourself, you never will, no matter how much weight you lose or however you get fit.

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