I need help

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jen2607
jen2607 Posts: 148 Member
in Motivation and Support
I just returned from a visit to my hometown and I feel so sad. It's a really long drive, and I just always have problems when I go there. Between family and being haunted by old memories, it just seems it has really thrown me through a loop this time. I run into my ex's family.. and it just sucks because I miss them at the holidays. I don't miss him... I just wish he was doing something better with his life but that's out of my control and we don't speak (he's dating this new girl who always hated me and she recently posted all over mutual friend's Facebook pictures of them. Obviously, my opinion of her isn't very high but that doesn't matter). Away from there I feel confidant and motivated.. but it seems I have brought some of the blues back with me. I deactivated my Facebook for now and I'm sitting her unable to sleep. I wish there were a way to permanently erase it all. Maybe if I moved to another state it would get better. I just really don't want to be depressed or care about things I can't control. Christmas shouldn't be a time to dread... but I haven't had an enjoyable Christmas in years. I want to be positive and happy. It's been 2 years ... I really should have sorted through this by now and I shouldn't ever feel sad like this.

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  • yesiwillbeloosingit
    yesiwillbeloosingit Posts: 64
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    sometimes -it can be really hard to move on. And I know what you mean about missing his family but not him.. (Sometimes we even might miss the ex.. We don't want to but we do) ..

    It is no easy way to get over it and to get over the sadness. I would say give it time - but two years is a long time.

    I don't think you should delete your FB or even move to another state. Your happiness wont come from that.

    Work on your self, things you like. Spend time with ppl you love, doing what makes you happy and you will feel better.


    *hugs*
  • capaxinfiniti
    capaxinfiniti Posts: 367 Member
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    I understand how you feel. It's tough to move on, and it's tough to miss the ex and see them move on. Don't put yourself in the dumps because of that, you need to enjoy life and enjoy yourself.

    Do something especially for you, do stuff you love. Take yourself out and pamper yourself, and enjoy who you are and who you've become. Everything will heal, you just have to allow it to heal, and not keep re-opening new wounds.

    Don't move out of the state, you're only running away from your problems which won't help. You need to face them head on and deal with them!

    Find some support somewhere! With friends and with yourself!


    Good luck! xoxoxoxoxo
  • jen2607
    jen2607 Posts: 148 Member
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    Thank you guys. It's just hard when I feel like I've spent all this time working to be happy and things just seem to get messed up. I think I just need a few days of decent nights sleep and I'll be fine. Moving out of the state is silly, I already live 5 hours from my hometown as it is.. If things hadn't gone done so terribly maybe it wouldn't bother me,.. but it's just something I have to deal with because I can't force him to be a decent person. I'm probably just freaking out because I finished school and have no plans really. I just need to enjoy the time off for now and not overburden myself with thoughts of things out of my control .
  • jen2607
    jen2607 Posts: 148 Member
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    Turns out all I needed to do was rest, watch a few episodes of How I Met Your Mother, and go take a Zumba class. I feel better today. I'm still a little blue .. but that's probably just from being anxious about being alone during holidays. I'll just keep moving and it'll all work out eventually.

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